have you stopped to see the icicles turn into puddles?

One year ago, at about this time, I was talking to an amazing friend and I remember I was worried. I was worried about what would happen this year. I was worried about the changes I would take. If I'd change for better or for worse. She told me I could worry up to the 31st but in the new year, no more worrying.

This year, I welcome the new year with excitement. There's reflection as it's kind of proper to reflect on a whole year. But that's kind of hard isn't it? Reflecting on 365 days. I think to be honest I only remember about 30 that would be like actually vivid in my head. Maybe more =P VBC is at least 10 days.

I don't think I'll come up with a list. I'd be terrible at those =). And so I will write in paragraphs. As is customary to me I guess.

Firstly I think the most important is God and my relationship with Him. I think last year at exactly this time, that wouldn't be what's on my mind. It'd be something like school or a girl or something that's not God. That in itself is amazing. It makes me joyful to know that I've grown in Christ. To know that everyday my experiences are shaping me to become more God-driven and trusting in Him. And so for this next year I guess it's about breaking free. Breaking free from complacency and really living a life worthy of the calling that I have. And also to really delve into His word. I'm glad that this year was more on spiritual discipline. Learning to consistently pray and do devos and trying to give everything up to Him. I'm excited for how I grow this year. In my faith. I got baptized just like a week and a bit ago and I guess now I'm considered a spiritual baby and...now i need to be nourished =)

Fellowship up next? In grade 10 I had Escape as my cell group and although it wasn't like the ideal cell group, I think I really learned alot. I learned about serving. About yearning for a real group of believers that could fellowship together. I learned about kind of helping out with a cell group. Sending out emails. You know that sort of stuff =) And i guess that prepared me for this year. And the trainings we had. I really loved those. And I remember the night when me and Ben had to lead =P It was pretty jokes. It got a lot better and it was just a great experience to have k-cab meet together so consistently at the beginning of the year =) Loved it. And I'm blessed with Drifting Wood =) It's absolutely amazing. I know I say it all the time. Everytime I come home on Friday I can say God's moved in some way, shape or form within our cell group. Accountability partner time, personal time with people, group discussions or just being able to meet up with the cell group leaders beforehand. And this new year, I'm excited for it =) Meeting up with Chung and the other cell group leaders sounds like it's just gonna be awesome. I think a lot of us share the same sentiments. On the cell group. I know for sure that Nat Tay and Chung share it because we've talked before and I know that Brian and Calvin have good experiences with their accountability partners. It just makes me smile thinking about Drifting Wood and how they never cease to amaze me =) Thank you God.

Fellowshiping in general this year? I'm glad that we've gotten back to meeting up on Wednesday. We kind of stopped meeting up early last year but we did have a sleepover and for that I'm thankful. VBC team this year was...different. Some more new people. Some of the oldies. It was still good times but I guess it just wasn't the same. But it was really interesting having non-christians. And I still remember one of the girls saying that if they became Christian one of the reasons would be because of the VBC skit team. That really showed me how God builds up experiences to lead to something. I love the accountability group and I pray that we continue to meet up. For the past while it's just been the 3 of us but still it helps build up our friendship and sometimes even though we don't deep talk we still bond and it's good knowing that I can always share whatever burdens I have with them. And even though we haven't hit the rooftop in a while I've realized that fellowshipping doesn't reside with a location, but with people. I know it's obvious =P But it's something I think i fully realized.

Family I think has really grown within the past couple of months. I guess starting with the whole breast cancer struggle and just spending time with my parents and missing my sister. I also realized the real immensity of my parents not being Christian and the urgency of that because I don't want to one day end up in Heaven and not have them there as well. I'm also beginning to really find a place in helping out around the house. And yesterday I experienced a kind of eagerness that I hope to continue to do.

School. haha well I got the principal award for grade 10 but probably not for this year. But I'm really enjoying most of my subjects. peer helping, bio, photography. Math is a lesson. That i need to start getting caught up with the math homework and I can't depend on my own intellect anymore. I think a big thing is my friends from school. I haven't hung out with them alot and I feel myself slowly drifting away from them. Maybe not drifting but it's not growing. Like it's at a kind of stand still. It's almost as if with most of them I can't find a lot of things to say because my life revolves around God so much but they aren't Christian and wouldn't really understand. But I've invited them to fellowship and church a couple times and so far...they've come twice =) and hopefully they'll come to WTF. But with them I can also feel myself not being as selective as I was before. I don't really have any grudges with any of them and I'm able to talk to them all the same. Well most of them. I'm still working on it.

I think that comes to the end of our reflection time. That isn't all of it but it's the stuff I remember for now =P
I guess serving in general this year has been really great. AV is time consuming but it's allowed me to get to know a lot of people. VBC was amazing again. The children. Bugs 1 =) Nathan, William, Frieda, Katy, Tiffany, Felix. writing them down so i don't mix them up with my teacup 5s =P SI was an adventure. It was interesting. It was less friendship and less bonding with my fellow volunteers but it was still fun. And I loved biking everyday for volunteering. That's a pretty good deal =) Ride for Refugees was intense =) Thighs of steel, giant green farming machines, Sam Gu, Valenti and like 4 hours of intensity =) Retreat was amazing again. A different experience but the candle light sharing was as amazing as ever. Arts Cafe was amazing serving with PY and being a part of her story and just being blessed to hear it and to be inspired by it. And it's a year of the blogs =P I'm always reading people's blogs. There's....10 tabs that auto come on when i turn on opera. I agree with PY, why facebook when you have blogs =) Thanks EvMak, Simon and others for continuing to inspire me with your own lives and how God's working in your lives =)

So really things for the now. These things that people call resolutions. I just call them goals =P And goals are continually changing and being developed. How strange that we only make goals at the beginning of a year. A lot can happen in a year =)
- That i grow in God. That's the first priority for this year. Because it's become the center of my life and I'm glad that it has.
- Grow in my friendships. Keep others accountable. Learn to cope with different types of people and love them all the same.
 - Diligent in school and at home and not lazy.
- Willing to go wherever He takes me =)

thanks for reading this ridiculously long post =P
-Chris

yo there's too much rage and not enough ranch =P

Hey

So just cleaned up from the sleepover that happened last night and well it made me glad =) The cleaning and the sleepover itself.

I guess to start it off, i was really nervous. And a little tired =P The WTF dance practice had been intense and before that was the skit meeting and it was kind of a low turnout and I guess that worried me. Also, today they changed the topic of the skit so we have to rewrite but to be honest, I think the new topic is a lot better for hitting things home. Like it can be so impactful. And so I pray God would use us who are writing and directing and participating in the skit. That even with our imperfections, we can show those who walk into our church the amazing love that was shown to them.

And the WTF dance....it's intense and really awesome looking but I pray that not only that we get the message across. That the message gets across us. If we don't get it. How can the people watching us?

The sleepover ended up going...differently than I had thought it would go but I guess it proves a lesson. It was fun. There's no denying that. It was beautiful spending time with such amazing people. Steph, simon, val, py and the addition of nelson =P We had like 3 movies. None of them crazy boy, war movies which I'm glad for. There was some Disney Sing It and it was super jokes because I thought we'd wake my parents because they were singing SO loudly =P and the songs were like songs I wouldn't usually be singing. But I guess when you're not singing it for the lyrics it's better. We did get to talk. But it wasn't for very long. And it was when Vincent called. It was great how we all got into that mood of seriousness and we each talked about our prayer requests and what we were struggling with. But after that, for the majority of the remainder of the night it was mostly fun and bonding time. And I love that all the same but I guess I was hoping we could go into more depth but I'm thankful for all of them. Enchanted was really sweet and I guess I haven't watched it in a while and it was cute watching it again. I ended up spending silent devo time. And I thank God for it. It was like 3 in the morning but I still had energy and it wasn't me trying to drag myself into devo time. I love how I want devo time now. How i don't want to end the day without devo time because it's so amazing.    

So we all ended up getting like 0 sleep until 7 =P and then we all fell asleep. And i apparently move alot when I sleep. Like flip. 180 degrees. Which is pretty whack =P Luckily she was watching a movie. Mad awkward if she was asleep too and then woke up. But yea, I ended up sleeping in my own bed for 2 hours and I was like smiling when I hit the bed because it was SOOO comfy =P It's always funny when I'm super sleep-deprived and then I go to sleep. I start giggling in my bed when I wrap myself up because it's so comfy. It's weird =P I think last night  was the closest I've ever had to an all nighter. I also learned contact =) Fun game. Cept for the headshot. Man that was funny =P headshawls. and the raging ranch chips is what's quoted in the title =P they were crazy spicy. And so we said there was too much rage and not enough ranch =P

So I love them. All of them. And I'm glad Nelson joined us. I don't want it to be exclusive in the sense that it's closed. Like I'm still probably closer to them than most of the people in KNA but our get togethers aren't exclusive. Because well...we're all a part of the body of Christ and shouldn't we all meet together anyways?
Thank you God for such amazing brothers and sisters.

fear? whom shall i fear.

How often do we pray that God would use the Spirit and move us?
How often we ask that He use us to do his will.
But yesterday I realized that there's a real fear of this.
That as much as I don't want to admit, I fear God bringing me somewhere incredibly insane.
But what kind of trust is that?
it's limited trust. if any at all

but i don't want to live a safe life. If anything that's not what we've been called to. The apostles weren't safe. They rejected the Sanhedrin's orders to keep quiet because they couldn't keep the Good News quiet. Would we have that same exact zeal.
Some might call us crazy. radical. ridiculous. fundamentalists.
but is that just the response of someone who's afraid of going where the Spirit leads them?
I pray I don't get caught up here. In safety. In routine.
that if i need to, i'll go wherever He leads me.

For the Lord is my salvation and light,
whom shall i fear
the Lord is the stronghold of my life,
of whom shall i be afraid

paraphrased Psalms 27.1 i think

a little boy could easily get lost

Hey

Feels like I haven't blogged in a while but in essence, it's only been 2 days. A day feels like a long time. Or it can.

Yesterday went to church/simon's house to practice for WTF dance and it's pretty intense. But it looks incredible. Or at least when the others do it =P I'm not as fluid or as graceful but hopefully the other 6 on the team can make up for that =P I'm excited for WTF. I guess a little scared of the intense practicing on the week of and the kind of reaction my parents will have and for myself how physically drained I'll be and how I'll balance school and WTF. I'm also really praying that God continues to be a major part of WTF. Not even a part. The core of it. Because we can often get caught up in technicalities and forget that God is the center of everything. And if anything is displeasing to Him I pray he'll completely break that and remake it. Even if it's the day before. Because I'd rather have God's message revealed, not a show.

Recently I've been reading Forgotten God because my sister got it for me for my baptism and it's in the same style as Crazy Love. And it's intense in the way that it challenges you. And maybe part of me doesn't feel ready to be challenged like that. Maybe part of me is scared. But I don't want to be scared of going deeper. I want to lead a life worthy of the calling that I have been given. God would you use me. In ways that I can't possibly imagine. In places I'd be scared to go otherwise without your Spirit.

And i'm sorry for being a bad friend. Maybe for those reading this and for those that aren't. I guess for the past while I've been so out of it. Especially this past week. I'm distracted, not really focused or directed. So I need to be geared. To gather motivation. And spend the rest of my break connecting with people, keeping people accountable and finishing up my work.
I started on my homework today and in the morning I felt so miserable. I don't know if it was the sleep and the lack of sunlight or what it was but I was starting my math and I felt so messed up and it was a struggle for me to get back into the mindset of it all. It's been a while since I did actual work. Like I did housekeeping stuff today. Cleaned up my room. Inserted pictures. Started writing in my photo albums. Studied for G1. And it may sound like a lot but I'm still lazing around much more than I should. So I'm sorry. And I'll try harder. God I'm sorry. Would you forgive me for being so careless these past couple of days?  

p.requests:
- discipline and self control
- love. I feel like I'm not giving enough of that recently. I'm sorry

thanks
-Chris

He wants all of you

Hey

So I guess it's been a pretty crazy break. I mean like it's already been a week. And I've gotten some great sleep and gotten some stuff done but for the most part...i've done barely anything and I really only have another week left. I'm thankful for all the amazing family time that I do have though. Though I guess there's still a lot of conflict in terms of me serving and being away from the home and me being at home.

Yesterday I was able to see all my cousins from one side of the family. Even the ones that I haven't in a while. Also, watched Sherlock Holmes before that. It's REALLY smart. Like if you could understand all the words that Holmes says, it's like pretty incredible because in the end it all wraps up ridiculously.

So I went to my cousins for the traditional December 25th dinner and I got to see a cousin who I only get to see once a year =P And I'll see him even less because he's committed to doing long term mission work in China for 2 years and it's incredible but it also means that I won't be able to see him and hear from him in a REALLY long time. We talked for like a good half an hour...maybe an hour on the couches and he was talking about his recent experiences and just what he learned over the course of the missions trip and what God's really been showing Him this year and he wanted I guess to impart some wisdom before he left. So he talked about meditating and how Jesus would put his relationship with God above everything else. He would go out early in the morning to pray. He would go off to a quiet place even when the crowds were begging Him to perform miracles. Even in the incredible busyness of things, He still prioritized His spiritual disciplines as first above everything. And that's something I really want to do. To become spiritually disciplined and to just see with God's heart. He also showed me a site called "discipleshiplibrary.com" and basically it's a list of 60 verses that are like beginner verses and I'm really going to try to commit them all into memory before the break is up. And I briefly talked to him about parents and them coming to Christ. I guess something I've been wanting to ask my sister for a long time but there's hasn't really been times where it's just the two of us.

So today I went boxing day shopping in the morning with the family and saw some people I knew and the places were crazy. Like it was like a warzone in some places. The Hollister lineup was ridiculous. And I realized that it's super dark lighting so you don't really know what you're buying. Or at least that's what I think the reason for the darkness is. Don't know if that's entirely true. But I didn't buy anything. And for that I'm thankful. That i didn't get picked up in all the chaos around me because I'm blessed more than I need.

I can't believe it's a Sunday tomorrow. It's going to be interesting tomorrow. And I'm excited to spend some time with God. in silence and in remembering his word. And meditating on it. Demons from the past beginning to haunt me. Pray for self control and that I remember His words and that it echoes in my heart whenever i begin to falter.

p. requests:
- discipline to start doing things
- silent time with God and more time delving into his word
- self control

thanks
-Chris

t'is the season

It's amazing
it's Christmas! =)
It's the day of the year dedicated to celebrating Jesus' birth. Isn't that...amazing? =)
And as PY said it, everyone on the planet is celebrating Jesus' birth. They don't know it. But they are =)

except the people celebrating the thing that's not Christmas. So I guess like Hanukkah and whatnot.

so i guess a quickie post
I feel like this Christmas although I haven't been focused on presents, I've been focused on just too much other stuff. I can feel myself yearning for some family time. We rarely have any of that and my sister's leaving on the 26th for Urbana. And I guess I just feel like i've been out a lot. For church. That's a huge one I guess. And I know a lot of other people are busy too but I guess it's better when your whole family is serving. So tomorrow is family time. And Jesus time. I long to sit in my room with a bible in hand and just pray and delve into His word. I've been wanting to do that all break long but I feel like every morning I've been so busy.
But I'm thankful for all the things that I'm serving in. All the amazing blessings I've received from others .

p.request:
- no lazing around
- family time

Thanks =)
and merry christmas
-Chris

slanted staircases

tossing and turning along slanted staircases
their words an attempt to console me
as they rolled away into a place unseen

black windows on an empty street
feelings of dread building up
knowing that she won't be back
from her new home, far away

eyes fluttering open, he jolted from this seperate world
tears fresh upon his skin, he breathed a sigh of relief
for he realized it was all but a dream


so i haven't written poems or stories for that mater in a REALLY long time so it's a little choppy and bad but I think round one was better. the post got completely deleted when it errored when i tried posting =) so I had a dream this morning and it was pretty reminding that if my friends were ever to leave, i guess from my dream one in particular, it'd be pretty sad because well...I've grown so much from the experiences I share with all my friends. If she left for...New York and her dad packed up shop, well it'd be a sad day. I spent some time with some amazing friends today. Just brainstorming and chilling and it's always makes my day to see some friends. All of them. =) So praise God for my friends. And may i never take them for granted.  thank you
-Chris

of whom shall I be afraid?

Hey God,

I would've really loved to write to you yesterday.But all in all, it's kind of the same isn't it? The joy. The amazing joy knowing that I am saved and that I have been able to proclaim it the rest of the earth. and the joy knowing that the Lord is my salvation and my light. That i have nobody to fear. Somebody gave that verse to me yesterday. It's beautiful. Thank you for writing such amazing works in your book. That it still continues to bless us with wisdom.

Yesterday I proclaimed my faith to you and to be honest, it went by like a blur. I can't quite remember how the water felt except that it was warm and I feel like i kind of imagined the breaking the surface of the water as maybe more big than i thought it was =P But all in all it was an amazing day. Thank you. And I know it's not going to come free from troubles now that I'm baptised. I pray that nobody ever sees baptism that way. That once they're baptised that their lives will be peachy and everything will be fine. I know my life will get more amazing but I know there'll still be turmoil. I woke up to it this morning. I guess it's something I need to be a part of. But Father I can see the pain that happens all around me. All around. Family,  cell group members, fellowship people, school friends. And it's just so humbling to be here in the midst of it all. And I know that I can barely do anthing and that it's really in your hands. May I continue to pray. Pray always. I guess that's something to work on. I guess i'm kind of sad we only prayed once (for the food) and it's something that I need to continue to do daily.

so thank you. may i fear noone.
The LORD is my light and my salvation--whom shall I fear? The LORD is the stronghold of my life--of whom shall I be afraid? - Psalms 27:1
 Thanks for everything. for my life. for my amazing family and friends and all the trials that i've been through
-Chris

i will bring praise

Hey

So today I decided to not go in the usual scheduled kind of writing. With all the "this happened then this happened" and maybe try...just writing how everything was like. Or just what I feel right now. more feelings. less events?

People are asking me if i'm excited for tomorrow. And to be honest, I'm never quite sure how to answer that. During the deacon interview Freddy asked me what it meant for me to get baptized. And it was basically the same thing that Andy Stanley said in his sermon on baptism. It's a public declaration that I love Jesus and that I want to follow him. Am I excited? I guess I am. A whole bunch of my school friends are coming. And they're watching it. And it's encouraging to know that they'd all step into a church service just to see me baptized =) And i'm thankful for the opportunity to be baptized. There's so much work that's been put behind the whole service and everything that it's just a blessing to be able to have this. A lot of people...well for them baptism is just being dunked in a lake or something publicly. That's it. But at the same time, it's got the same spiritual significance. It was funny because my cousin asked me if I could become a crew leader the second I got baptized =P that's I guess a side bonus =P But then again, i don't mind being crew leader or assistant crew.

I'm thankful also for the fellowship. Last night. We had prayer meeting and as much as it was rushed, i'm still glad we had it. It's a first step. To being consistent. To having a community of believers and even non-believers to pray. There were some non-Christians at the prayer meeting in our group and it was interesting having them there and I kind of felt sad at the end of it because we didn't really have time to go deep. We simply did around the circle, then pray for the person beside you with Korean prayer. But as I said before, I thank God for the opportunity to have prayer meeting in the first place and for our first prayer meeting...it was encouraging to see so many people =)     

And it was amazing to see my cell group and it was fun to go shopping with them. I guess I was thinking alot about missing the program because it was about family and I thought it'd be really great to talk about family with our cell group but I think my real wish is just to spend more time with them and to have both shopping time and deep discussion time.  and I'm amazed and blessed to have a cell group that's so generous. Like seriously they blew my expectations out the water =P It was incredible. They just amaze me every week =) And then I got to spend time talking with C & R and it was really good because even though it wasn't specifically directed, we talked about how he was doing and it turns out...not too well. But I talked to him today and he knows that we're here for him. All the cell group leaders and Chung. And that's something I'm just so encouraged by. And we need to pray about it and just grow as a cell group. Carrying each other's burdens.

I wonder if that was any different from a normal post.
oh well =)
so tomorrow's the "big" day =)
and i guess in a sense it is big
it's like almost all my friends are converging in one place =)
that's pretty epic
ain't it?
thank you God
you are truly amazing
and greater beyond anything I can imagine. Thank you

p.requests:
- my sister's home. so FAM JAM TIME =) no more dumb games. famjam
- praying. that i keep up in prayer. I was so tired last night that i don't think my heart was in my prayer. so i prayed again this morning.
- continuing to thank God.

thanks =)
-Chris

not for use with hot liquids?

Hey

So firstly, isn't it just kind of ironic that a thermos says on the bottom "not for use with hot liquids"? Kind of defeats the purpose right? Haha just thought it'd put it in because I was washing a friends' thermos and i was reading the bottom and i'm like...what.

Anyways =) Yesterday was another meet up and honestly, i'm so glad that we do it. We haven't done it for 2 weeks. Or I guess I haven't been there for 2 weeks and it's just great to be back with Simon and PY in Freddy's office talking about random things. I kind of regret not being able to hit like the actual prayer earlier because PY ended up leaving before we actually got to pray. We got some good stuff done. She worked on her sketch and it sounds absolutely amazing. Maybe the images dancing in my head are much less abstract so i'm sure it's even more amazing with the spectacular lights and sounds =) It was amazing how we prayed at the very end in Freddy's car. It went for like 10 minutes or more and it was so long that my dad was looking out the window wondering why I hadn't come in yet but it was just amazing to pray with them. That's what I wish it was like every week when we meet up. Also not at like 11 at night =P earlier. So we can all pray. And indeed the sleepover sounds like a wicked idea =) It'd be amazing to have us all there and just talking and praying. It's been so long since we've all been together and just prayed for each other. We've all got so many stories to share and yet so little time with each other. I"m excited to see what God has in store for us because He's done such amazing things through this amazing group of friends already.

Today I volunteered at the Torch Relay at the Civic Center helping little kids make their own paper torches =P It was pretty fun I must say and even though the actual thing was hectic and full of frostbite-feeling fingers, it was still amazing and I got a lot out of it =) Firstly, I got to spend a day with my friends =) I don't often get to do that. I got to work on my patience. A whole lot of kids. A whole lot of paper folding. A whole lot of tape. Thank you God for that opportunity. I also got to see a whole bunch of people from UHS in the morning because apparently they all wanted to see the torch =P And I saw some random kids that I knew. Some from SI, some from Kin Village and some from my old elementary school. I guess I got to see the torch. Not THAT big of a deal =P So many people are like "it's the only time it'll ever pass through Markham" but really, everyday is the only day for something. So really =) Also, P brought some warm beverage for me which was amazingly kind. Thanks for being such an amazing, caring friend =) Sorry I didn't get to say bye. I got tied up making more torches for the rushing children leaving on the buses. And so the entire day was a bunch of ridiculous and at the same time, really fun =) I love volunteering. Especially when I see children. Because sometimes that just negates all the bad and evil that's happened. My fingers feel alright. Didn't think they would. But I guess they did =P I guess it's time for me to depart and study for Bio and just prepare for the last day of school of the yea. oh man. =)

p.requests:
-  I think i've been really thankful this week. Keep it up. there's always something to be thankful for
- being a shining beacon for others. that keeps popping up in my subconscious prayers
- not sleeping too late

love you guys =)
-Chris

∫joy = God =)

Haha hey

So the title means the integral of joy is God. And if you haven't taken Calculus then you'll have no clue what an integral is. But basically it means that joy comes from God =) basically =P i won't go into deriving and whatnot because it doesn't make mathematical sense.

I have to go real soon but I just wanted to blog because well...i felt overjoyed today =)
On Sunday we learned about peace through the sermon and then we had baptismal class and it was good. We learned about why there's evil in the world. And then I had my baptismal interview =) It was funny because I had freddy which made it...really relaxed and there wasn't any fear of some unknown deacon asking me strange questions and then correcting me if i was wrong and it was pretty natural feeling i think =) I also didn't study for it =P Which sometimes could be the best thing because...well if you know about God and you know what you're doing by getting baptized... a deacon interview shouldn't be too hard =)
Also, I listened to a sermon regarding baptism and it was...good because it was simple and yet it brought out why somebody got baptized. It's a washing. Literally. And it's an association with Jesus and showing publicly that I had accepted Jesus to be my Lord and Savior and that..it's what I believed =P So i'm excited for this Sunday because my school friends are going to be there. Also my sister's home and it's like one of the first things she'll see after she gets home =P
Also, we had the youth performance practice for Christmas Eve service. It's turning out pretty funny =P Going to see how it all turns out. Sadly there's only like...3 boys. And I can't project black voices =P So we'll see how it goes but it's looking to be quite the performance with some possible singing across the sanctuary =P

Monday was....I actually can't fully remember what happened yesterday. Had some good badminton, studied for my Calculus test. I guess that's something that's been on my mind because ever since I got my mark update I've been striving a lot harder to work hard at math and just keep up with it and to do the homework. And last night I kind of ended up not studying after I got home from badminton. I wanted to but in the end my mind wasn't in the right place and I guess i felt I was ready. I was still nervous. But I think I studied well. I did like...60 practice questions from the review and it was good.
And in the end, I had my test today and it went well. I felt so at peace afterwards when I got on the bus it was like shouting Praise God in my head because there wasn't any burden left and I thanked God for giving me peace while I wrote it =) It was a fairly simple test but I'm still glad I studied hard and didn't leave it to the last minute =) When I was walking home I was like smiling at the people I saw and the weather was nice and it was just...really great =) So PTL.
Tonight I went to the Family Worship planning and I was the only youth there but it was good =) We spent like the entire first hour in prayer and it was really intense because some of the prayers went pretty long but it was good to start off lifting everything in prayer. I feel like we don't do that enough. And I realized there's just SOOOOOO much to pray for. Like the prayer items that were brought up for our church were things that I would've never imagined myself praying for because I never would've realized them. So I thank God for opening my eyes to these things and it's looking like it's going to be a pretty interesting and amazing worship service.
So that's it for tonight =)
just wanted to update.

p.requests:
- that I can keep up this overjoyed state of mind because nothing is too big for my God =)
- discipline to just do more without being told now that I have more time
- more famjam time and to organize my schedule so that i have famjam time, serving and devos all balanced. No extremes.

thanks =)
-Chris

Rescued from the darkness

Hey

So it's a saturday. I think i usually post on saturdays for like sure. Because I always love writing about fellowship =) Always. Because it's somewhere I feel like it's so easy to see God move. Well God moves everywhere but I guess it's just that in my cell group it's just so overwhelming and it makes me smile at the end of every Friday. And I know there's always things to work on like openness during discussions for a lot of questions but i know it's something we'll work through and we'll just grow. We've got a year =) Well not anymore =P

Alrightys. So yesterday was Cell group night. Our 3rd one =P It's funny because our second one was only like 2 weeks ago. But this time we decided to plan EARLIER and so we could actually get people to respond =P took 2 weeks but we got a response from everyone...one way or another =) And now we have their phone numbers. Woot for ability to call =) Anyways, we went all to Nat's house to have a potluck and it was crazy because FOURTEEN people showed up. Which is like...amazing =) We even had two extra. Who i will not mention but they were really cool and C brought them =) And so we had WAYYY too much food but it was cool how everyone brought stuff and we didn't have to worry about last minute cooking and Nat's house was really cool and we all started watching home alone =P Our food time was kind of separated though because we all wouldn't fit in one room so we were split between dining room and the kitchen but Chung's voice carried across both so that was good for some parts =) And then we split into our accountability groups and I think we honestly spent like half an hour at it. Or at least we did =) Me and C sat in a carpeted room filled with antique stuff and the things we talked about were really cool. He was really open and we honestly could've talked for like the whole night and it was just amazing talking to him and we had to end because Nat was telling us to finish =P and so we prayed for each other and I really pray that I keep him accountable. That I don't forget what we talked about and that we just continue to talk over the Christmas holiday =)
And then we got together as a cell group. all 14 of us =) and we talked about our Christmas hamper and I'm REALLY excited for that because our secret mission this Friday has been Freddy-approved =) WOOT! I'm really excited for it. Like seriously so intensely excited =) It's almost like 2 cell group nights in a row. And then we took group pictures and it was super fun =)

So that was just an amazing experience and I love my cell group =) Honestly like we have our little tweaks that we'll work on as we build more awesome relationships but God's really been moving and I can see it and I just thank God for the opportunity to serve this year.

Today was the first TC AV training and it was....not what I originally expected it to be. The first hour, to be honest was REALLY like unfocused and we got nothing done. And it wasn't even like good rambling and that kind of breaks the ice. It was really restricted like it was specifically about the schools that people went to in Mississauga and I could feel that like most of the team wasn't into it at that point and we didn't even get to pray. That was one thing i found...kind of strange. The whole 3 hours. We didn't pray. Once. Beginning. or End. We just....did it. And there were way too many people and the equipment was kind of trippy and old but there were some good things about it. I met my team and for the most part they're pretty cool =) i think they're all experience in some way, shape or form. One of the girls is...really easily sidetracked and so we'll see how that goes. I guess at this point, i'm interested to see where this all goes and how it all leads out. We didn't really do devos or any kind of bible activities or bible study or prayer today but i'm really hoping that we get tighter with each other as a team in both AV and in God.

Last thing, it was Christmas celebration tonight. I had no clue it was SNA. It didn't even cross my mind until I went to church and I found out that there was like BARELY anyone from KNA. Like....4 in total. And i guess in the very beginning I was kind of downed out because I hadn't anticipated not seeing anyone and I'd really wanted to talk to some people but during the first couple minutes I prayed that God wouldn't let me be so close minded and that I would be open to the night. Maybe I'd see some really cool stuff from random people in the church that I barely knew. Maybe I'd get to talk with people I hadn't really talked to in a while. And so I prayed for that and God is good =) It ended up being pretty alright =) The kids' performances were so cute =P And it's like they've grown up and it was funny seeing them do the craziest things =P I remember when I was a kid. I was the inn keeper. Well one of em =) I remember that. I tripped on my inn =P But anyways I hung out with Pneumatos people and it ended up being pretty cool =) I'm not one for really big crazy events like SNA anyway. Maybe next year.

And so that concludes my post. I guess just a lot of thanksgiving. A lot of amazing things that God's shown me and I guess I'm still struggling with discipline. With controlling myself with just games and spending my time doing productive things. By the way, I made a math worksheet today for my lesson on Monday. It felt pretty awesome =) It's so cool to see it all work out and imagine how you're going to teach it. Pretty cool stuff =) Glad I did that. Praise the Lord =)

p.requests:
 - discipline to focus on productive things and things that have eternal value and that glorify God
 - Spending time with C talking and keeping him accountable
 - Being open to the various areas that God has placed me in

Thanks =)
-Chris  

have you ever thought...

Hey 

For all have sinned and fallen short of the glory of God. 
- Romans 3:23

That's what was running through my head as i heard the sermon about Mary in the Catholic mass at our school yesterday. Over and over again, the priest said that Mary was Holy and sinless and it kept making me....really wonder. And my heart was like panging because over and over i was like "this isn't biblically correct". I went home and during my devo time, I went bible diving into the Gospels and I couldn't find any kind of scripture that would back this up. Mary was a faithful woman. An example of God's amazing abilities. It's like Moses. Like King Solomon. Like a whole bunch of other people in the Bible who did amazing things because the Lord had given them power or had done something for/to them. 

I'm going to keep this short because i'm trying to sleep before 11. But I haven't talked about devos in a while. And 2 nights ago i just sat on the floor and prayed. I didn't look at the clock, i turned off the lights and just sat there and prayed. I think over 10 minutes went by and it was probably one of the best devo times i've had in at least a week. Because well...i feel like they've been semi-rushed. Partly because i've been sleeping later and partly because....maybe because i'm not focused enough and my head's too cluttered with other things. But that night where I sat on the ground. It was like 12:30 when i finished. It was late. But i was glad that I got some good devo time. It's the least i can do. I find myself Bible diving now. Not restricting myself to that one chapter a day but just flipping through, reading, being interested in just stories and references ( yay for a study bible =P). Praise the Lord =) And so i'm trying that now. Back to the clock. Sleeping earlier. More devo time. 

I got back a math mark today. Math's been something that i've recently been struggling with. Rather I've been working harder because i know i need to. I found out i dropped 5% since midterm and to some people that might not be alot. And to some people, my current mark would be amazing to them. But i know i can do better. I know God's blessed me with the gifts to do better. And so i'm going to study hard this weekend for my test. Today i felt less than productive. Took mozilla off my rocketdock. Turns out some of the parental control features don't work. Meaning only opera blocks stuff. So now i'm using strictly opera. No more games. I don't need them nor should I really be playing them. 

Also, a last thought before I leave. Paul talked in Phillipians as if he was only on earth to continue God's ministry and otherwise, he'd be overjoyed to be in heaven. It's a concept commonly taught. Keeping your eyes on the unseen. Keeping your eyes on heaven. But how often do we REALLY live like that? How often do we have faith like that? That's something i'm really striving for. Today i did some ninja charity. I'm glad i did. 

I think that's it for now. I'll blog....again sometime soon =) Excited for cell group night. Drifting Wood Potluck for the awesome =)

p.requests: 
- discipline to get my work done and do chores (getting better)
- live my life with Jesus in mind. Not myself 
- focused devos 

thanks =)
-Chris

Chris Version Billion.1.0

Hey 

So it's been...a really intense past couple of days. Actually just yesterday and today. But 2 days is a lot. A lot could happen in 2 days. Whenever somebody says "A lot could happen in.." I think of the Wong Fu movie where the Indian girl is talking with the guy and she says that. But that's besides the point =P Some lessons and just a lot of....things that I need to reflect on in general. 

Friday morning I planned to wake up nice and early and go for a jog but I found that my track pants were in the wash and my mom wouldn't let me saying it was too cold. So i did math until I went out for jap buffet. I was kind of excited for that. Not because of the food. I'm never really into buffets. Gluttony. And just too much food. And too much non-vegetables. I was excited to see my cousin. She's always cool to talk to and the only cousin who's close to me in age...that i see a lot =P It ended up being...an interesting experience to say the least. They gave us one round of food and then they didn't bring any for the next like 45 minutes. I personally didn't care too much and I think everybody got a decent amount of food but my aunt and uncle weren't very satisfied and they got up and kind of made a fuss with the head of restaurant kind of thing and then we got ridiculous amounts of food and i felt ridiculous afterwards. I guess it's happened before and in both cases, me and my cousin feel kind of.....we feel out of place. Because i don't think we'd ever do this. Like i get that they're busy. It's a PA day, they probably didn't expect so many people and their families but...i don't know. Also one of the reasons why i don't like buffets. They kind of come with the demands of food and people ordering WAY  too much and more than they can eat. At least I got to spend some time with my aunt. 

Afterwards it was k-cab chillage. And basically, it was really fun with Taboo at Steph's house =) It was really funny because it was grade 12's and freddy vs. the teletubbies =P and the grade 12's would guess the most RANDOM things like tazmanian devil. And mexicans =P Played in the basement. That brings back...a whole lot of memories =P sleepovers, vbc drama practices, random instances. =) Kind of sad we didn't get to actually do any accountability and it was rushed towards the end after we ordered pizza (which was fun because pizza pizza has SOO much more variety than you'd expect) and we all had to head back over to fellowship to set up. When I got to church it was wierd because it didn't feel like a friday. I didn't feel as like energized to set up as usual. Maybe it was the pizza. Regardless we got it set up and then Calvin and me went to pray and talk and I always love those times because it's calm and it's only a couple minutes but it's still good time to just sit down and talk and plan and just sit in our room. The night went alright. I felt like I did a lot of talking. And it felt rushed. The content was good and I felt like we could've gone so much deeper but there was so little time. And i made a last minute decision and I really need to talk to Calvin about that because sometimes i feel like I take too much control. And afterwards, during worship, I probably had the biggest mess up in my slide ability and I was impatient and i made the mistake of clicking too many times + beta version = no lyrics on screen. And it made me so frustrated and in the end of it I just stopped trying and tried to worship. To just forget about the slides and to just worship and ask God for forgiveness for my impatience and to just lift it to Him. 

Afterwards there was some prayer and I'm really glad we had it. And it was strange and yet amazing to just have the notion to pray when no more words could come to my mind. Because that's what we do. We give it to our Father and know that he can do amazing things and much better than our little words. 

Today....i woke up and my mom was kind of yelling about how i've been at church EVERYDAY for the past 3 days. Yesterday i was at church for like...6 hours. Today like 7. Tomorrow...i don't know if i should go to the birthday lunch thing because...i don't know if it's a good idea =\ I had to leave worship practice early today because it went a little overtime and my mom said 11:30. And i had a doctors appointment for my eyelid. Which was "allergies". But worship practice itself was good. It's always fun during worship practice. We found some new backgrounds and Steph made a gmail account. It was funny looking at the options that they gave her because apparently there are other steph liews in this world =P. Also it was an epic. Epics are epic =) As the name implies. And kenny always has pretty voice harmonies =)

The k-cab meeting today was good. We planned out 4 months and in general we talked about how our cell groups were doing and it was good. Maybe some people were tired but there was some good prayer spurts and I really love when we do that. When we stop and pray. And pray about whatever we're doing. Excited for the next couple of months. Drilling in love and relationships. REALLY important things =) excited for that. And i really want to have dinner with Chung and all the other cell group leaders. It'd be good. To simply sit down and talk about it all. 

Well this concludes my week =P I guess i didn't really talk about how I was doing. I guess this morning's dream reminded me of the urgency but i have no clue how to. It's not as easy as "parents, i believe in God and I want you to too because I want to be able to have you with me in Heaven" or something like that. And...i just need to balance. Because this weekend....it's too much church for my parents' liking. thanks

p.requests:
- balance of everything (family, chores, church, kna, serving, school, friends)
- discipline to continue doing my work and not laze around
- to continue to sense that urgency that God has placed in me for my parents and friends

thanks
- Chris

Crossword Puzzles

Last night I had a dream. And since dreams disappear really fast, i guess i only remember the important parts. But it was something that was quite drastic. and a reminder. a very blunt one.

So in my dream, the rapture had somehow happened and it had some random thing to do with crossword puzzles. Like sometimes there were crossword puzzles when people had been like raptured up and it was...weird. My sister and a whole bunch of people had apparently already i guess lifted into heaven. And it was just me and my parents. And we were in this like house and my parents were in another room across the hall or something and there was dim lighting and I was doing a crossword puzzle, not with any real intention other than just doing it and i remember looking back at them while I was writing the last word and then in the next second I was like going up some white staircase resembling clouds.  And when i reached the top I could see people and it was bunch of people from church and they were all together, talking. I remember the first thing i realized I was in heaven, i dropped on my knees and started to cry. And the words that came out of my mouth were "I never got to tell them". And I knew what I meant when I said that. I meant my parents. I never got to tell them about Christ. I never showed them why I truly loved serving at church. I never told my friends. And I was crying because there was a chance that I might never see them ever again because they didn't really know the Gospel. And then i saw my sister and we were both kind of sad and she was talking and then I woke up and I could feel tears in my eyes. 

And so that was my dream. An urgent message. I want to. I know i have to. But i need God's guidance as to how. 

ginger explosion

Hey

I just ate a slice of ginger. Because it was in my vegetables. My throat is currently burning and my eyes are about to tear. Thought I'd let you know that little tidbit =) I'm starting to like eating ginger. In small amounts of course. Haha that's kind of a super side thought. =)

So I still can't really believe it's the end of the week already. It's actually a SUPER JAM PACKED weekend. So i'll keep this post short =P Seeing as I should get my butt upstairs and get sleeping. This week...has felt really short. It's passed in it's ways. It feels good though. I mean the week. I tried focusing a lot on prayer and loving at school. And i found myself being more conscious of it and just...talking to God more. And evaluating myself and thinking about the actions that I did. Because the 1 Peter verse also said something along the lines of "if one should speak, he should speak as if he were speaking the very word of God". And that's intense. If you really think about it, how many sentences in a day do you say that are encouraging and would be coming from the Bible? like not exact words but the same message? I found myself doing some complaining, some joking and in some cases, not saying something with enough sincerity behind it. And so it's something i'm trying to work on. Praying that I can. 

This weekend. Jam packed =) Tomorrow k-cab outing. Then bible study. Then saturday k-cab planning. then sunday, av and whatnot. Oh and family lunch tomorrow =) jap buffet. Haven't done one of those in a while. Feel like a jog tomorrow morning =) And i can't believe it's bible study tomorrow. Seems like such a short time since the bible study. I hope i can talk about it with the other CGL's during the a-group time tomorrow =) I'm actually really stoked for it =P Just spending time together. All of us =) 

And tonight I went to Koolskool for the second time since the beginning of the school year. It was good =) The kids are really cool and we cooked. Always love some good ole fashion cooking =) pita bread pizza and spaghetti =) So yea, i guess it was just nice to be back and serving. Good to see some people I haven't seen in a while =)  

Well time to go. And by the way, my mom's back home =) for like reals now. Which is good =) Thanks for the prayers guys =)

p.requests:
- draw my actions and words from God and knowing that I am saved from this world
- discipline to finish work this weekend and to still do house chores. =)

Thanks guys =)
night

-Chris

reminders in the 5th

Hey 

So i haven't  blogged in a while =P Technically it's only been 3 days. But you know, I guess that's just might "been a while" =) I like blogging. it's some good stuff.

So i guess is customary...we should start with Sunday. Because it was actually a day of some pretty intense lessons. Somehow, everything just seemed to fit in with each other. Sermon, luncheon, bible study, wtf. All had the kind of theme of love. Love being...well God's sacrificial love and how it's going to apply to our own lives as we are to follow out the example of Christ because we are Christians =) Woot! =) Woke up and I think i was a little later. But it was alright. My dad ended up waking up which i guess was different from last week when I left the house and he wasn't awake =P he needs more sleep anyway. AV went kind of like normal. Val had some deep talking with a somebody in the booth. Hope he's alright. He's goin through a bunch but...i guess i a lot of us feel like he's using the wrong release. But who are we to judge? only to pray and to console. 

Haha i should get onto the sermon. Or else i'll never finish this post =P The sermon was about hospitality. About offering our time, our homes, our items. And you know, it's strongly linked with love because in order to be hospitable, we have to love. I believe the verse was from 1 Peter that he used as the theme verse. I'll have to look it up again. I was reading through those small books at the end of the NT and it's...interesting because all of them are short but they're pretty packed with some intense stuff. At the luncheon, I got to know somebody in the church and I"m glad I didn't contain myself to my little AV booth and I found a fellow veteran AV person =P It was pretty cool and it was just nice to talk to him a little and being in the same space as the MC's it's just cool =) Because they're some pretty cool MC's. Also the food was like...beautiful =P Like to think that so many aunties and uncles woke up and made so much food. it was SOO MUCH. like they were thinking we'd have too little food. We didn't =P mmmm for chicken and cucumber sandwiches. and banana bread =P PTL for all the good bonding that happened. I can see what PY means when she says adult are a lot more fun and cool than you would think =P 

Afterward, it was pre study and then WTF planning. It was actually a pretty intense day. Went till like 4:30 at church. That's like....8.5 hours at church. Oh snap. That's a lot =P So onto pre study. It was on love. And Eskimos always comes up with some innovative programs =P So we got a race + discussion + skits. Which is pretty jam packed =P But it'll be good. If we get the material down. It was about love. The true meaning of love. And i guess the biggest challenge for myself was the last part of the verse. It was from 1 John. I think 1 John 4. But the last verse was something like " if a man says that he loves God but does not love his brother, he is a liar." And then another part. But this part kind of stuck out to me. Because...it's something i've been told a lot. But i was recently reminded of it. I feel like i'm getting some reminders lately. A bunch really. About cell group leading, family, blessings, love, for God to break my heart for those who don't know Him. And it just happened that the love was the theme for WTF as well so it was like...a Sunday about love =P And it was good hearing people share like E. I feel like a lot of us all have the same stories and if we all took some time to share just about how we were all doing, we'd find some amazing similarities. And so after all this, oh and by the way, i'm EXCITED for WTF. =) Even if it does get postponed. I'm just super excited. Because it's a night where we're all uniting under one God. Not that we don't do that usually =P but it all turns out so amazing. But we just have to make sure we keep on it. Like we do follow up. 

And so my challenge this week is to re-remind myself about loving. And a part of the bible study verse was also that love replaces fear. In perfect love, there is no fear. And i think when i pray at lunch now, it's like i don't even care who sees me and what people are thinking. Because i get to talk to the God who made me. Isn't that just sick? =P So far, i'm finding myself becoming more consciously patient which i'm really happy about and I just want to keep it up. Especially in peer helping when they can sometimes be difficult and sometimes when they don't try. Also means i need more sleep =P I think i'm getting the second bag layer. Which is the one everyone's getting. Meaning i need at least like..1 hour more of sleep. I can feel myself slowly changing habits. In my attempt to become more disciplined. Deleted game apps, blocked the game sites i go on, i did treadmill today =) I was sweating pretty hard after 25 minutes and it was good. Doing some good jogging. And i walked home today from like another stop because it was decent weather and it only took me like 12 minutes =) And so i'll end off here. because there's math to be done and maybe those who are reading this are getting a tad tired eh? =) thanks 

p. requests:
- to have every action stem from Christ (love is patient) 
- to keep up with praying 

thanks friends =)
-Chris

you're free. did you know that?

Hey

So yesterday I was reading in Galatians...well then i flipped to a whole bunch of places in the bible because i didn't really feel sleepy and it was interesting just flipping around and in Galatians, in whatever chapter i'm on, it was talking about how we're free. Free from being restrained by law. And I remember reading from something else...probably a devo book and it was challenging the reader to think about their own life and if they live free. Free from the things that bind us to this world. Free from the law of sin. And I didn't know if i could answer yes. Because really like...am i living as if i'm free? Wouldn't i look so much more joyful if i was free? And I know that I'm free. and like Paul says, I shouldn't be reliving my "childhood of sin" . Something for me to think about. To not be bound by things that I know aren't worth my time to be bound to. Not sure if that last sentence made much sense. =P

Last night also happened to be Drifting Wood CGN v 2.0 I think. I think it's the second. Well technically the second one that we planned. And i know that before the night I was like...really stressed out. Because I didn't know who was coming, who was eating, where we were even going to be! Because i'm not good with booking and therefore we ended up having to ninja into a room because of the major takeover from the scouts. They took up like EVERYWHERE. like not even kidding =P with their sleepover, and their pretend campfire, and their hot chocolate making, and their wood tying and intense like craft making and like EVERYTHING. we ended up getting a room on the side of the new basement =P Also, two grade 9 girls from my cell group emailed me thursday night telling me they'd get pizza and when i got that i was like PTL because it's just...so amazing to see them caring for the cell group =) And it's just awesome and they brought friends. Interesting friends. 2J. Maybe we'll see them again =P It'll probably be different next time when they come back =P Not as super chills. 

In the end, I think it went...really well =P The food was like rushed and everything but we all got to spend like 30 minutes with our accountability partners and I really hoped they got to talk to each other about like...all the things they were going through with each other. C wasn't there yesterday so i ended up spending time with Chung and it was really great because we talked about cell group leading and he reminded me of a lot of things that...well i'd forgotten in the whole rushing and mess of things. Firstly, God has blessed me with an AMAZING cell group with AMAZING people =) Like actually =) Like they're so honest. Like if they don't want to answer a question, they won't answer it and if they're interested, they'll show it. And i guess I really love that about them. So does Chung =P And i'm sure the others do too. And secondly, I can't compare cell groups. I could feel myself doing that the past couple days with the planning and everything. It seemed like we were the only cell group who wasn't at a cell group leader or counselor's house but that didn't matter and turned out Team Fly was at church too =P They were hot potting. Which was pretty cool =) 

After a-partner time we just went into...Taboo =) In the end i probably didn't have to bring all the stuff I did. I brought a guitar, wii, wii games and stuff and Taboo. I only needed Taboo =P It took like actually an hour and if we wanted to, we could spend 6 hours doing it and it'd still be fun =) It was really great seeing people get involved and really into it. I think it got kind of competitive =P Especially with Chung. So into it. Boys vs. Girls. And it was just fun because people who didn't usually talk got to play and got to try and get people to guess stuff. I think only one person didn't really get into it. But he had to leave early too. But i'm glad Calvin's got T for his accountability partner. I know he'll be awesome with him =)

I learned a lot last night. I learned to trust God again. And so i'm excited for the next cell group night =) It's gonna be wicked awesome because I just know that it will be. And God will move amazingly in amazing unknown ways =) And i relearned that my cell group is the bomb =) And it was just a really great time, spending time with them =) And just kind of reminded me of cruise times when me and my cousins played taboo until like...1 or 2 and we still wouldn't want to stop =P 

So now I should go. A small run down of today. My mom came home =) And she just spent some time to eat dinner. Maybe she's staying overnight. Probably gonna go back to my grandma's tomorrow but it's still nice seeing her =) Haven't seen her in like a week. more actually. and today's worship practice was a little lonely in the booth but had some good time praying with each other in the super cold sanctuary =P  
well time for the dissection write up =) 

p.requests:
- really put my trust in the Lord. That He will work amazing things 
- discipline to do my work, help out in house and NOT play games 
- spend more prayer and time in cell group leading =) because it's awesome 

thanks =)

-Chris 

grab hold before it's gone

Hey

So I haven't blogged since Sunday and it's been...a really crazy past 3 days. Like i've been so on edge it seems with other people and so unable to plan things and to get everything...organized. I can see it in the way I interact with other people and I guess I kind of feel bad for that. Like I haven't been...the best kind of person these past few days. 

I've been having tests...major tests for the past 2 days and i guess it's been kind of hard because i'm so stressed out about studying and i know i should be...but i end up being stressed. And for bio it wasn't that bad because i came out of the test feeling alright. Today it was calc and it was...difficult. And afterwards I felt so disappointed in myself. Because it's not even about the mark that I get back from. It's the fact that I didn't study as much as I should've. And I kind of stayed up with my dad last night and we reviewed some stuff and it seemed okay but come test time....I had no faith in myself and my math ability afterwards.
Afterwards I was talking to a friend who was staying after school as well and he told me how he had failed one question and it was like 5/11 marks and he was...pretty chills about it.

And then I guess i realized that it was because I felt like I had kind of failed my parents. I've always had an alright time getting high marks and i'm blessed with a brain that can take in information relatively well. Like when I study i probably have to study for less time than the average person in my class and still get higher than them. But I guess i can't do that anymore. And I know that. I have to get disciplined and DO my math. and keep up with it. and not just assume i know it. 
My mom called me while I was still at school and while I was telling her about the math test I felt myself tearing and it was the first time in a long time that I had been tearing for reasons that weren't related with yawning. And it was from that overwhelming feeling of failure and like i'd let them down. Because they invest a lot of time in me. They don't make me do a lot of chores. They let me go to church. And they trust that I'll do well in school and that i'll try. And getting a probably 60% on a math test just...isn't what they're invested for. I don't know really how to put it. But bottom line I guess is just that I felt like I let them down. And in a sense it goes with God too. like He's blessed me with this crazy ability to memorize and all that but I'm not using it to the fullest of it's ability. I should put it to work. And serving in church is not an excuse to not working hard. Because i need to balance. 

I realized that my mom's been gone for...a good week now. More. And it's weird because life's kind of gone on the same. I talk to her on the phone. I think I like doing more stuff. Even packing my own lunch has a feeling that...i'm doing something. And today I learned to peel an orange efficiently and I can just feel in general that I'm not as super lazy and that I'm doing stuff and I hope I continue it even after my mom comes back. I like spending time with my dad. Even if it's just talking about math and random stuff. 

And today we had wednesday chill groups and it was nice to just hang out with them. Didn't really get to talk to them as much about like issues we're all going through but it was nice anyways. Just knowing that I can always talk to them and go to them. 

I guess the night is drifting on. Drifting Wood. CGN. haha i'm kind of excited =) 
excited for a-group time =)

p.requests: 
- loving people i don't know
- discipline to do my work and to do stuff around the house =) 

thanks 

-Chris

we didn't come to worship under any other Name

Hey 

Woke up this morning and I ended up making breakfast and everything for myself. Usually my mom's downstairs but I came down and it was still dark and it was kind of fun just doing everything. And letting my dad sleep in =P 

Got to church and worship was good. Short. Fast. Got to chill on the stage for a little and it was nice not being super rushed and stressing about time. Driven didn't have any AV person so i did some rush AV until Ben came then it was fine. We prayed in groups before service. And it's something we haven't done in a while. We've been so rushed these last couple of months that we didn't get to really pray for a bit before worship started. The sermon was good. It's a message I think I need to hear. Like i know it. And it's probably something that's been said at least 20 times to me because I've been here for like...7 years. It was about reaching out to other people and not to let culture , area and laziness get in the way. 

Children worship was...it was fun today =) The kids did the actions and it was just kind of less stressful because when we stared at each other between actions we were all kind of laughing because we weren't completely sure about them. And she looked happier. Which is good. She looked so tired in the morning, hope she got enough rest. 

Got to practice some stuff with the youth worship team for the Christmas Eve Chinese Service. Was pretty fun =P Gonna try and do some black gospel with Jeff. And Kevin when he comes to a practice =P It was good, just joking around and singing and just...having a blast =P 

Did my testimony today for the video and I was kind of nervous about it because it was kind of rushed and when I got there we were an hour behind because some people had taken more than 30 minutes which is reasonable and understandable. I kind of had some freak out ness for a while. Like Si ended up not changing anything but what took the longest was me doing it and just kind of sitting there going over the points. In the end I ended up looking super nervous, kind of serious and at the end i go ridiculous. But that's alright i guess =P 
I'm actually kind of hoping my school friends come. I don't know if they would because they're....well they're not really strongly religiously affiliated and I don't know if they'd see it as a big thing. Plus they might have work. But we'll see. I kind of invited them. Need to find out what time it is though before I tell them again. 

well i guess it's time to go.

p.requests:
- discipline; not getting lazy
- for school...i guess not to be so rushed as to not spend time praying. even when i'm walking. 

-Chris

You took the fall. and thought of me. above all

Hey 

So yesterday was accountability night. I'll keep this super short because well...I need to get to sleep but yesterday was...well it was pretty awesome =) in it's own little way =) Like every week. R wasn't here this week in Drifting Wood. Oh to backtrack, I went early and I kind of couldn't find PY so i didn't end up going to Joy practice =\ Which kind of sucks because it actually did happen and I kind of feel bad for missing it. I basically did math with Marco and kind of just...chilled with worship team....until calvin came. And nat . Then we planned the night =) I love when we do that. Sit in a room, talk about each other's lives, go through the plan lightly. Know what each other's doin. So Freddy got a beta version of the new pro presenter =P LAGGY. But in the end it kind of worked out. I guess they're excited to see it come out =P. Me? I don't mind the old one =P But for our cell group it was good. R wasn't there. So it was a little more quiet. But other people answered =P And my accountability partner was C. and it was nice talking to him. I know he's not fully open with me but it's alright because it's still deep. His use of words is....quite good =P Like he knows how to speak in an eloquent manner =P I'm really looking forward to being his accountability partner because he's really awesome and just... yea =) 

Today....well it was quite a day. This morning I did worship practice and...I got to fellowship with a great friend =) A great friend. And it was strange because I could see how her experiences were kind of things I'd gone through. And for a lot of it while she spoke I couldn't come up with anything to say but...maybe that's okay. Maybe all I was there for was an ear. And hopefully I did it well. So that was a super way to start off the morning. Reminded me of the old rooftop days. When it was a while ago =)  

Then I went to Markville's Roots because my mom wanted me buy sweaters and stuff  because my aunt had a 50% coupon on like everything. I ended up buying 2 sweaters and one pair of sweat pants for $100. And i felt like I broke the vow i made. To not buy anything. And there's a part of me that says it's okay because i'll use it and whatnot but....still. Did I really need those? And it doesn't equate if i give like $100 in return to World Vision or something like that because I'd do it anyway. I guess I'm struggling with whether I needed it or not. And what's necessary. And what I should be spending my money for. I guess it's something for me to really think about. I officially gave Drifting Wood our Christmas challenge last night. I'm really excited to see what happens. And I think...we'll be able to match it =) But I pray it's so much that we can't match it =P Because it's so much. That'd be absolutely amazing. 

Tonight I wasted a good 1.5 hours doing stupid things. Flash games to be exact. And I got so sick of myself and my lack of self control that after dinner I committed to not turn on the computer until i finished my portrait and studied for bio. And I thank God because I was able to do it. And it felt good. Not being consumed by worldly things that mean nothing. And art's always fun. A little pencil shading here, a little smudging here. Good release =) I'm kind of sad I didn't get to talk to many people tonight. But I'm glad I got things done. And I have to summarize that testimony =P Well that's about it for now. It's getting late. 

P. requests:
- discipline 
- really pray about what I do and where i put my money and also not to put that much emphasis on money. Because it's not the only way i can give. it's nearly the smallest way i can give 
- real devotions with a real devoted heart 

peace =) 
-Chris 

eyes on the Unseen

Hey 

Firstly, it's some epic weather outside. Looks kind of like those mystery novels. Misty, warm, kind of rainy and it's like gorgeous. But I was thinking to myself like...it should be snowing. Not misting. We've kind of blown up our world kind of insanely. It's so damaged that it can't snow in november anymore because the weather's so tripped up =\. Like it makes it seem nice...but I guess not for those who like the snow. 

Today I was kind of focused I think on marks which is something I shouldn't be. Like I got my calc test back today and I was like OH SNAP because the mark was kind of...bad =\ Like i'm probably getting the worst marks of my entire high school years in calc. But when I was back home I was thinking about where that comes from. Where that sense of failure came from. There were two sources. One was the fact that I felt like I had kind of let down my dad because I can totally do the stuff and because he spent time with me the night before the test to help me study. But the second was based on marks and how my marks were going to drop and all that jazz. And then I told myself that rationale was alright because it was grade 12 and it was for university. But who even knows if I'm going to university. I found myself being consumed by something that was rather trivial. And I was asking God to take that from me. to take away my obsession with marks and just to give me a heart to want to do well and use the gifts He's given me. 

I also went to Koolskool today. It was nice =) Pretty chills. I think i'm a little lazy =P It's different. From what I used to remember it as. They did worship for like the first time today. I wish I was there for like a sound check or just to hear them practice. It's nice being back. It's a pretty chills ministry and it kind of reminds me of peer helping =P The kids are....kind of the same. Well maybe the Koolskool ones are more lively =) And then I got to kind of chill with some of them afterwards. I realized Koolskool's REALLY short. Like it's just an hour and a half and it feels like it disappears really fast. But it's amazing to see the change in some of the kids. And hopefully some of them absorbed the message and the worship. I hope i can go back soon. 

That probably concludes it up. I need to make my cell group bucket. For the moneys. For the challenge. I'm excited to see how they respond =) They're super amazing. Gonna see them tomorrow. Hopefully we have some discussion =) 

p. requests: 
- just to work hard and not to worry about marks
- diligent and disciplined in everything I do 
- mom 

thanks team

-Chris 

where are you with discipline?

Hey

So I just finished reading a blog that's kind of like a devo. Actually got it off py =P It's pretty cool. Maybe I need to do that more. Take like the verses and dissect them one by one instead of just going through an entire chapter and taking the chapter's message. Well both are necessary. It talked about discipline. And it's a word that's really been in my life recently. Discipline. Discipline to do devos. Discipline to keep up with people. Discipline to not play flash games. Discipline to help out around the house. Discipline to not be lazy. I think that's a big one. I can find myself being really lazy sometimes. 

Thank God that I've been able to do my devos consistently and just sitting there in bed aganist the wall every night just gives me time to think and even though I sleep a little later because of it, I think I'd rather spend that time awake and spending it praying than asleep because it just calms you down. 

And now I must go. But thought I'd just write a little about that =P 

So goodnight and farewell =)

p.requests: 
- discipline =P
- mom

You paint the morning sky, with miracles in mind

Hey

So yesterday morning I woke up at like 6:10 to say goodbye to my mom as she left for the hospital and i hugged her for like the first time in a while. My family's not very touchy. But it felt like it was going to be alright. My mom didn't look too worried and that morning for some odd reason even though I'd only got 5 and a half hours of sleep, i felt pretty awake and up.

The whole day I think I spent more time praying within the walking time and everything. It's Week...B so it's a little more rushed from 2nd to 3rd but it's alright. And it went well. The operation. She's actually out now. She sounded tired yesterday on the phone but it was alright. She's over at my grandma's for a week to recuperate and to not increase her stress levels with like house work. That's pretty good I guess and a chance for her to just relax after.

I guess it's been a pretty all in all good 2 days. Today we had a drunk driving and impaired driving presentation by a guy who i couldn't fully understand for the majority of the time but I guess it reminded me of the message on Sunday and how Cheryl said to ask God to break your heart for those who didn't know him. And it's sad how so many people turn to drugs because they feel unworthy or they need something to supplement their pain or something to just do. And if only they knew God, they wouldn't have to go to those things. They could find support and love from a small group or just...anything. And so maybe that was a realization today. Because after Crazy Love i've been focused so much on like 3rd world countries and i've forgotten about the immense pain that

no way but onward, no day but today

Hey

So last night, I had some fun over at Ben's house and it was fun hanging out with my friends and we went to the park, did some ridiculous things as we ALWAYS do in public =P Though there weren't too many people out and it was only 5 too. The sun sets so quickly nowadays. Me and marco were talking about it and how you always feel like it's crazy late even when it's only like....5. Like right now I feel like it's 11 at night. It's only 7:30 =P But it's been a crazy weekend. Full of...things that are just exploding all over the place =P. My friends got me Taboo and Disney Sing It. I don't know what i'm going to do with Sing It =P They're a little crazy sometimes but I love them all =) I really didn't need presents though. I remember someone last night said something about being happy and I said I'd be happy if there was no presents and we just chilled together. And it's true. And i'm sure it is for a lot of people. Me and my mom were talking about it today, it's really hard to get presents for people after a while. Like we're getting matt a present now and I just hope we don't spend it ridiculously and we get him something REAL and USEFUL. Because lately I've really been feeling like God's given me the wealth i have to give to others. I'm trying to save up for a missions trip in...July? Eagle Bay =)

So last night when we were all home from our outings and whatnot, we all sat down and took a picture with the cake that we had bought. It was apparently the one with the most ACTUAL cake cause you know these days when you buy a cake you don't really buy cake, you buy icing and filling and all the cheaper mousse and it's like oversweetened and whatnot. Well it didn't have too much cake =P But it was alright. My mom said it's like the ONLY time we ever take family pictures. Well one of the rare moments =P Me and my sister have developed poses that don't require us to smile =P And so for the majority of the pictures we had weird poses. Like look at one another and point and make squished up faces =P It was fun. And then afterwards they sat us down and the 4 of us kind of talked officially about my mom's condition and the surgery. And it wasn't like it was sobering on my birthday to hear it but more like....I don't know...i valued sitting like that. The last time it was the 4 of us like that...the situation was less pleasant. And i realized that the situation we were in now had brought the family closer. My parents were getting along much better. I was starting to become more active. And my sister...well she's in Kingston but still.
And it's such a miracle that we even know about it because usually my mom's normal doctor wouldn't have allowed her to take a mammogram and she wouldn't have found out about it but she went to her doctor she hadn't seen in 6 years and it just happened that she let her take a mammogram. PTL =) indeed

My sister left tonight. I had planned to go shopping with her but my mom persuaded me not to go because she had a lab report to do. And I guess I wanted to talk to her about some stuff but we didn't the chance. I guess i'll see her in a couple weeks but it's always nice having her home. She's such an epic influence =P Well I should be off. Waking up early tomorrow.

p.requests:
- Trust in the Lord
- Mother
- Discipline for myself

-Chris

you sing all around, but i rarely hear a sound

haha hey =)

So today's a BEAUTIFUL DAY! in terms of the crazy amazing weather =) It's WARM! and it's like mid november. Which is kind of trippy. According to my mom usually when me and my sister were born, it had snowed on like the day of. And then up to a couple years ago, it stopped snowing so early. I wonder if that's a good thing. Probably not. But it kind of makes me happy that it's still warm on some days in November. =) Beautiful day. Agnes' home =P which i guess is always a nice thing to have. Makes the house louder. With random music =P and the car. And it's nice to just talk to her =) It's good =) And it was supposed to be a surprise =P but my parents are absolutely TERRIBLE at keeping secrets =) So um...they kind of failed =P but it was good effort. And so she's back. And it's good times =) She's amazing. Spiritually, emotionally, sisterly =)

Last night was another KNA night. And at first I was kind of freaking out because I couldn't make the AV set up and my clock was an hour late so i thought i was SUPER LATE when i woke up from my nap but i wasn't. And i couldn't make the 6:30 meet up for the discussion for the program because my sister came home and we just wanted to eat dinner together. And it was good. Because I went to KNA like...refreshed. And I was kind of in a rush but it was alright because it was like there wasn't any burdens because I'd just spent family time and we laughed SO MUCH. and I loved it =) And when I got to KNA it was crazy because NOBODY other than K-cab was there. I thought i was early. But i wasn't =P And i thought it was a k-cab meeting. And it was the discussion and it'd just ended =P And so i'm like WHAT! but it was good because me and Calvin got to talk about what we were doing in it. And we talked and we got to pray and we went over the program. And it was just amazing that God gave us that time to talk about it even though I"d been late. Nat couldn't lead that night. and B.wong came a little later but we coordinated after =)
Ended up doing both AV jobs but it was alright. I'm slow at slides =P But that's alright. It was some good meditating time. Haven't heard Amazed in a long time. I think I really like that song =) And funny thing is it's the first song that popped up when i clicked my blog to listen to some tunes =) The activity was funny =P Yay for not knowing when New Moon comes out eh? And just in general it was good. And then we got to discussion and this week it felt like a lot more people talked and we went in circles and it was just awesome to see people talking =) and R's so active. He's so eager! =) I love it =P Though he gives like the bombest answers and so nobody else really answers because he's covered most of it =P So sometimes i have to restrict him =)
The discussion felt more natural. The points were easy and it didn't take a lot of sheet looking so Praise the Lord =) I love my cell group. I think I"m going to challenge them with the giving thing. The other CGL's agreed to it. =)
And yesterday I got like....3 cards and 1 drawing. A beautiful one i might add. =) Thanks so much PY. I framed it this morning. I'm like "YES! I CAN FINALLY USE THE FRAME!" because I've had the frame for a year and nothing fit =P And now something does =) And I got caked. And it was just fun to wash it off. Because getting cake exfoliation is always the best =P And i'm just grateful that I have such amazing friends in fellowship that would make cards and just....so much insanity =) I love them so much. Thank you God for such amazing friends.
I have yet to give Freddy his tour of his office =P He needs one.

p.requests:
- that i take more time with God just sitting with Him in prayer
- Thanksgiving =)
- my mom.
- that i take hold of this amazing day. and let him control it. Because he's made me =) And made me glad.

-Chris

Loves like a hurricane, i am a tree

Hey

So today is a pretty chill day =) Which i guess is pretty good. Time to just think.

Learned how to wash rice =P As ridiculous and rudimentary as that sounds, i officially learned it today =) Which is good because now I'm ready for next week when hopefully i'll be doing half the chores of the house. I'm actually kind of excited for that because then i feel like i'm ACTUALLY contributing. I feel like often i don't contribute enough and sometimes my mom doesn't think i should be doing it because i'm "busy" when i'm not really but she thinks i am. So that'll be something. Kind of worried bout my mom =\ like how she'll be after it and the recuperating stages of it. I'm really grateful that people are praying for her =)

So yesterday was possibly the most stressful day of peer helping yet. Because the teacher left and he left the class with an in-class investigation that was open book, individual and was going to be marked like a test. Not the greatest idea =\ especially because the topic was more like....i don't know, they didn't know it that well. so they had ALOT of questions. so like 5 minutes in, 80% of the class had their hands up. and that was pretty intense. because that's a lot of kids that need help =\ and when you don't get to them fast enough...they start talking. And it was bad that they were talking because then they didn't get any work done =\ the first sub was alright except he explained the question differently than me and his explanation kind of confused the students so not too much help but he was alright. And then the second sub thought i was a regular student and told me to sit down =P the kids laughed at me for a good minute. and then we got back to work. kind of. =\ In the end most of them finished. But there were a couple that stayed a couple minute after school and i didn't have to go to my locker so i let them stay a couple extra minutes because I really wanted them to finish because they were smart kids just...really distracted =\ It was a learning experience i guess. I think i had to raise my voice once or twice yesterday because there was just so much talking and not enough working. Hopefully they didn't take that as me being angry. Because i don't think i was. Just a little frustrated. And needed to get it across the room.

Last night was the regular meet up and I was kind of really excited for it or at least just really anticipating seeing them because I love Wednesday nights. They kind of just make my week so much better because right in the middle of the week I can just spend time with some of my coolest friends and just talk about whatever =) This week...well it was more like manual laborizing =P So it's P.Fred's birthday tomorrow and I figured that while I was there I'd maybe clean up his room. Dustin, PY and Ben joined in and we literally EMPTIED his room. Simon provided us with a soundtrack while he Ophelloed it out =P So we took out EVERYTHING. Shoved it into the hallways and then we started. PY and Ben started on the papers which were SO MANY. but they tanked it and made folders and everything. Simon made tabs =) Dustin and me took out the boxes, shoved things INTO boxes. I figured out how many devo books freddy had that night. WAY TOO MANY! So all the art stuff is in one area now and it's prettied up =) It was funny because when we took everything out, we were all like IT'S SO CLEAN! and it was funny because it was only clean because there was nothing inside =P I also made an observation. Freddy's got the smallest office and the most stuff =P. So it was some intensive cramming. Tetris skills! Took us like 3 hours in total. Some crazy stuff. But it's a lot cleaner. Though he might need a tour of his room =P considering we kind of shoved everything into different places. Not that he'll be looking for the books i put in his shelf anytime soon =P We joked that his whole office was basically like a GIANT cardboard box with a computer in it =) Pastor Angelina was laughing at our efforts. Glad he likes it. =) And it was super fun =) Can't wait to see that video of him seeing it. Hope it's like....decent quality =P

Thank you God for being so awesome the past couple days. That I could just spend time with my friends. Spend time with you. And just spend time thinking about everything. Excited for tomorrow =) Fellowship's always amazing =)

P.Requests:
- Time with God
- Patience and Love in just everything I do
- Mom? =)

thanks
-Chris

you're the Peace to the restless

Hey

Yesterday was probably one of the most stressful days i've had in a while. Well stressful only because of school. Not because of fellowship or anything else but it was maddening trying to study, and finish a presentation and i ended up sleeping at like 12:20 ish. And i guess it wasn't something i was used to or rather something i hadn't experienced in a really long time. And i felt so...i don't quite know but as if i'd focused on the wrong things. That the presentation and the test weren't really all that big in the long run and I wish i would've spent more time doing devos. Because it's just so much more calming when i spend time reading the Word and reflecting.

Today I did the test, the presentation and everything and in the end the test wasn't as great as i expected it to be and i didn't do so well but i came out not freaking out. And it was calming. And PTL for that =) And i looked at some pictures that'd i'd developed and it was nice, remembering the amazing things that have happened these last couple of months like VBC, coffeehouse, softball, and the cruise. And it was just nice to remember that you know? like i feel like i've been getting so caught up in the past couple of weeks that i've forgotten the past couple months. PTL =)

I'm also H1N1 resistant now. Or hopefully. Now that i got that needle inserted into my body. My mom wanted me to get it. And I'm trying to be more willing so i did it. and it's alright i think. it's just going to hurt for the next couple of days. But now i guess i'm less susceptible of getting it...i think. If vaccines work. I never get them. Usually. =)
So just a short post. Going to spend some good devo time tonight =)
some good stuff.
thanks

p.requests:
- trust in the Lord
- be more obedient in terms of parents and God

One Last Day

Hey

So I just finished biking and taking that time just one more time around the neighborhood on a bike and the fresh air and everything before the autumn season ended. It was rather quick really. It's already been around 3 months since school started. Or maybe 2. But still, it's been 2 months. 60 days. 1440 hours. 86400 minutes. That's a lot of minutes. A really big amount. And yet it seems to have flown by so fast.
I guess maybe this is a reminiscing post =) I'm reading a long post from my friend as well. Which reminds me that I need to reply the email to another friend which is long overdue. =)

I feel like these past 2 months have passed by really fast. But along with new lessons. There's always new lessons =) Growth. Growth in God i think primarily. Because it's the moments that I spend with God and looking for God and seeing Him that really....make my day.
Because school seems to have passed by really fast, as if i'm just drifting through it and the only thing that makes me feel remotely helpful or that i'm doing something that's eternally based is peer helping. And for that course i'm actually so truly thankful. Because as much as my friends think it's a burden and that's it's super boring and not going to help me with all my university applications, it builds me up. It's humbling because I'm grade 11 and they're grade 9 and I can't think i'm superior because 1. i'm not 2. just not how it works son. And i love walking in there everyday and just having something that's not purely academic and if a student needs help I'll just...go over there =) It's so...easy =) But not in like a "oh i'll pass this course with flying colors" kind of easy but more like it's a lot more natural than learning calculus =P
And they teach me things too. Well not really =P They tried teaching me how to do a rap move. I totally can't do it. And proud that I can't =) I also don't know who Drake is. I'm old school for that. And maybe I am =) But I think God's been building up my patience as well because sometimes it can be difficult teaching them and when they don't put in the effort but you know they can TOTALLY do it and you want to see them pass and do well soooo darn badly. It's good though =) Made some nice cool grade 9 friends. Doesn't make me age ignorant =) And i'm excited for the lesson i'm going to teach =) So that's school. Oh and bringing my friends to fellowship was a really big thing but i really hope i can keep that up. Not just bringing them to big events. But also to just...anything =) with some prayer.

Next would probably be my cell group. It seems like it hasn't been very long since we all met each other. But if you think about it, it's already been 1/6 of the KNA year. And i'm glad that i have the amazing co cell group leaders that i have =) And my cell group's really amazing. Quiet at times and most of the girls are more reserved but I can see them growing and I know i have to trust in God that they'll grow and that He'll use me, nat, brian and calvin to lead in whatever way He has called us to lead.

And i've grown in God. I think i've been doing devotions for....a while =) And i'm glad i'm taking it from the Bible because it's so much more real and it kind of amazes me how it was written so long ago and it's still relevant today. Like i'm listening to a sermon right now and the preacher is talking about how in the Bible is the best economic advice in the WORLD ever and it was written 2000 years ago. Said by Jesus. And it's crazy because economy back then was probably different. There wasn't a stock market, there wasn't a lot of variables and yet the advice can be carried on through the 2000 years and will carry on 3000 years from now if the Earth is still here and it's just awesome =) and it helps with my discipline. Because doing devos at 11:30 is doing devos and i'll be pushing myself to sleep earlier because i have to do devos and it's....great =)

And so today I went on a little biking adventure and it was amazing. The weather was gorgeous and just travelling around my neighborhood with my camera for the first time in a while was great. I went to a park just past Major Mac to visit Ryan and try and find out where he lived but I ended up at his park and it was like one of the coolest parks ever =) like it's made so cooly. It's like the park close to BA. And I just sat there. And the sun was setting at like 5 but it didn't matter because it was still a little warm and there were just 2 families in the area =) It was a pair of grandparents and this little child no more than 4 years old. and it was just so amazing. The kid was beautiful =) And they were playing with him and carrying him and his grandpa was just like SOOO energetic. And when people ask me about what i want to be when i grow up, i don't really know. I just know that God's put this giant passion for being a father =) And that's what I say. I'm not really worried about university. Because to be honest, it's not that big of a deal. I'm going to have God. That's about all i need right? =)

Another thing. After Crazy Love, which i ended up lending to Taylor, I'm really trying to live it out. And it's been getting better. Today in baptismal class we talked about tithing. And I have a "job" now. Apparently =P I didn't think i'd get paid for tutoring my little cousin. But I'm glad i do. I guess i'm trying to put off shopping until at least the new year. And it's hard in some senses. I have this giant puffy Gap coat that's white, orange and grey and it's warm and it fits but i can feel myself making up excuses to buy a new coat. But i'm not going to. Because a $200 coat i don't need can ship $12000 worth of clothes to children who don't have warm clothes. The World Vision Catalogue seems to have found it's way into my spending habits =P It's good. And I hope I can keep this up. Because i really don't feel a need to buy things. And there's just....something about it eh? =) Praying that it'll continue and it's some good character discipline building. =)

So that's the end of that. Pretty long one. Haven't done one so long in a while =) took me a while to write too =P but it's good.

p. requests:
- discipline to not play games and actually legitly do work
- trust in God
- family time (spent some time in the kitchen today. it was good =)

-Chris