Everyday with Jesus

Hey

I wanted to blog last night but I figured I could remember it in the morning. And i vaguely do =)
Last night was our first official cell group night that we planned and it went...amazingly =)
We started off with some cooking and it actually took like an hour more than we expected it too =P because you know, we're just bad at timing like that but it was alright and i found out that one pack of pasta feeds ALOT of people. also i forgot to stir it. poor Hailey. she doesn't like the sound of my nails against the bottom of a pot. And it was fun. Everyone seemed to have something to do. Cept for some people. That went to play ball. And wander a little. Which i guess is the problem with having cooking nights and having people who've already eaten. But otherwise I think...it was awesome =) sadly didn't get pictures. But who needs them when they're embedded firmly into your head? =P

Afterwards we had our little mini worship in the children worship hall. Well one of the classrooms. And it was kind of funny =P it was really chill. And it was alright if people didn't sing because I know there are people in my group who aren't christian. But it was really great hearing other people sing. Like C. haha funny boys. =) and then was discussion. I guess in discussion it was a lot of me, nat and suprisingly R. He's actually like the most amazing boy in the cell group =P well i'm not favoring but i mean like he suprises me like every week. Praying for me, sharing, answering. And he's super helpful! He like asked us if he could wash dishes and i'm like WOOT! =) Love him.

And so the night went pretty well. We had some new people. I think a lot of the fun and the memorable stuff for most would be in the cooking but it was just....amazing altogether =) And i think i'm beginning to understand the progression from quietness to openness and i'm so glad that 2 people shared yesterday. Just small prayer requests. But it's the kinds of things that hint at their openness and I really love that. =)

And last night i practiced for my days of washing dishes in residence =P
wrinkly hands.
_____________________________________________________

Something else I think God's really changing in me is my relationships with my family. For the past week or so my days have been relatively relaxed and I don't have like MOUNDS of homework. More like one or two things that I don't look at too hard and I just get it done. I think. Not sure if that's the best thing =P. But I'm trying to sleep earlier. And I find myself a lot more willing to do chores. And it's good. Because it's like i've been feeling lately before that I've been such a....not a burden but i'm not doing my part in the family. And slowly I think I'm beginning to value my family a lot more. Because I think one of the problems I have is that I'm always doing things in OTHER places. I'm washing dishes at church, doing av at church, helping out at school, and not so much at home. And I know the homefront can sometimes be the place we overlook the most. But with some recent events I hope I continue to see my family more.

And that might just be the conclusion of this blog post =)

p.requests:
- not to get too busy to pray
- to keep in touch with my cell group
- to be open to what God's doing in my life
- to throw myself out there

thanks friends =)

A time for everything under the heavens...

Hey

So there's a bunch of stuff i need to do. This is more of a to-do list for myself. But also, take a look outside. walk around a park. See the orange leaves drift toward the ground. It's so beautiful. Like the movies they have where it's like a japanese maple dropping leaves in the calm autumn wind. That's like my street. Cept we don't have japanese maples =P
but they're beautiful.
And God made it =) So AMAZINGLY beautiful =)
And it won't happen for a while
enjoy it while it lasts.
just a thought


1. Asperger's Board
2. Finish editing the prestudy material before Sunday
3. Review Vectors/Planes to help C
4. Review the Math that we learnt this week
5. Tutor cousin
6. do AV
7. Attend octoberfest
8. Find the pictures you want to develop
9. Review Bio to make sure you know it
10. Threadless packaging thing (you know what you're talking about)
11. Attend Pre Study
12. PRAY PRAY PRAY and sleep earlier
13. buy some pencils for the math kids. erasers too

that's it
GET IT DONE BOY! that's directed at me
for those who are reading this
-Chris

As it arcs quietly towards the ground....

a soft echo as it landed on the bumpy pavement below.

Hey

I haven't blogged in a while. I guess it feels like not much has been happening. As if time's just...passing by without me taking much notice of it. Maybe that's a bad thing =| like i need to think more about it and REALLY try and actively see where God is moving and try and be there.

Today we had accountability. It's really great how we meet up =) Something to look forward to. I hope the others look forward to it as much as I do. Because even seeing them is really great. Because usually i just see them twice a week and then for 5 weekdays i don't. But now...i don't know, it keeps me accountable when i need to be and it opens up my musical horizons =P Explosions in the sky was it? =)

anyways, i guess it's been something i have to really keep up with. I also have to remember to buy food for cell group night =\
gotta remember that
and have to sleep earlier
thanks

-Chris

Beautiful One

Hey

Last night was fellowship as I guess is every Friday. And it was actually....well it had many parts to it and overall though, it was kind of exhausting and at the same time, uplifting.

The school day ended with me running like a crazy person through the halls to my locker and back to the bus. I had just finished a math test. And it had been pretty rushed. But altogether I felt pretty alright. School had been alright that day. Nothing...major. More time spent with my peer helping kids. They're actually beginning to be an amazing part of my day. =P Sometimes it's really funny when they try talking to me about cultural things and now that they know I'm completely non-rap-knowledgeable, it's kind of funny =) And I'm pretty excited about possibly teaching them a lesson and it's just great trying to teach them. And on Friday one of the kids who's usually a joker said in a semi-joking way "why do you care so much?" and i'm like " because i want you to pass this course. Don't you?" And...it was just something that I thought was important. Not quite sure why. But I think it is.
Oh and this past week I went to the AGO and it was just really fun spending time with people that I hadn't spent a lot of time with and just taking picture and being silly and just not having to worry about school =) And there was like massive traffic jam on the way back and I dont' know if God wanted me to talk to the friend I was sitting beside. I guess I really look up to him and he's really awesome but I find it hard to talk to him.

So last night was a Friday night. And it was the second time I did worship. It was also Faith Night. And I had kind of looked over the discussion but to be honest, I wasn't 100% ready. Not even 50=\ but I guess I thought looking it over was good enough. It's not. So I got there early to do worship. And I guess I was kind of surprised to be the guitarist. Usually I'm not the lead acoustic. Just the person who brings it. But it was really something I had to lift up to God because in many ways, it doesn't matter what my skill in guitar is. Just that I do it out of pure worship for God.
And it was actually really great when we prayed, just the 3 of us and they all encouraged me and I was reminded of what worship really is. It's free. It's as simon said, a reaction. It has no rules. Just love, and God.
But it also seemed that worship went by so fast and part of me hadn't been in like...that state where i'd thought over my week and I'd just taken time away before worshipping so I was half there and half not and so afterwards I found myself just saying the words over again and understanding what i'd sung that night. in the shower. After the whole night had gone over. But it was good. I need to get back into that kind of state. Where I'm really just lifting things to God.

The night turned out to be a lot of fun but at the same time it was kind of...shallow. I agree, it seemed kind of fake for some of us and so much of it was kind of like pumping energy out. It was fun but I guess in my group it was hard to bond because there were different levels of comfort and I was the only guy. I kind of wanted to be back in my own cell group. I missed them. But I guess it was also good being back like in the fellowship. But there wasn't much discussion and so I guess it was something I was looking forward to it. But it's nobody's fault. It just happened to be that way. But I think it's good that we have something to talk about next week =)

and today...was good. spent some time in the morning reading the Bible and just....it was good. Though i did waste a lot of time =\ almost finished bio.

p.req: for other people, and that i spend more time with God in silence

-Chris

Giving your life to His purpose...

Hey

So my last post was kind of short but it was probably to the point and it got out what I felt. Maybe i'm too used to really long posts. But God can work through fewer words as well. So maybe i'll just talk about how life's going in general. School, fellowship, everything.

So I just read another blog post of sorts and it really reminded me of how I really need to take time to get to know my cell group members. Like adding them on msn. Talking to them. Taking the effort to share with them and ask them how they're doing. Because there IS a lot of pain in KNA and there's a lot of prayer that's needed. There's a lot of relationships that need to be built. Not just programs. But real life relationships. People DOING life with one another. haha i just refrenced Q3.

and I guess I was reminded of doing life today. It's a wednesday =) I love wednesdays. Look forward to the a-group so much. It's just...refreshing =) Being able to talk about like ANYTHING and EVERYTHING. And steph came today. it was nice to hear her talking. We haven't had her around for a while. And we each shared about stuff that was on our minds. And it was just good talking to Simon bout school, and there was also the topic of her. I haven't thought about her in a while. And it was re-brought up. I really don't know how I'm doing with that. But I think it's not that big of a deal for me right now. It's more like...it doesn't all that matter in the scheme of things. God has bigger things planned and I can't just get caught up in that.

So my challenge right now for myself is to become active. To find a way to still communicate with God. To not get frustrated about marks because they're just SOOO small. I miss it. I feel like i've been so disconnected. I miss summer when it was so much easier to just spend time in silence. Now i feel like i'm on the move a lot. And it's just the night time. But then I feel like the time during school becomes so...empty because God doesn't touch my mind as much there. So let's do it. That's probably the prayer request of the week. And I have to remember to pray for others.
And i found out one of my peer helping kids is protestant =) he told me. Cool =)

-Chris

Spirit of Timidity?

2 Timothy 1:7
For God did not give us a spirit of timidity, but a spirit of power, of love and of self-discipline.

Hey

I was reading this yesterday during devos and it kind of stuck in my head. It was actually a pretty darn good verse. Maybe just in the circumstance i'm in but the big word was timidity. I feel like for the past while i've been so....passive in a sense. I await for things to come and i'm really excited about them but that also means that I'm not excited for the parts that I'm not excited for. Maybe that was a little bad in terms of wording but I mean like....at school I feel like i'm so rushed now that I don't even have time to talk to God in the hallways. To meditate on a class. To meditate on the things that happened. I'm getting so caught up everything at school and just getting from place to place that I don't realize things that are happening.

So I need to find a way to just...calm down and take it slower and just reflect. And also, the verse said spirit of LOVE and SELF-DISCIPLINE. Those I guess are major things for me right now. I don't feel very loving. At least not actively =\ It's like i've become terribly lazy. Like I barely do anything anymore. And that links into self-discipline. To actively do things. To just...take that time to sleep earlier, to pray more, to love others. That's self -discipline is it not? =\ I need to do that.
so i guess that'd be the prayer request. thanks
-Chris

Thighs of Steel

Hey

So this morning I woke up and I did something that normal people don't usually do. I hopped on my bike and biked 50km for refugees. And maybe that doesn't sound as fun as it actually was =P It was just me, Sam and Valente and originally I had planned to just do 25km because it was kind of chilly and whatnot but they went and wanted to do 50km and seeing as I had most of my day off anyway....
So we started at like 10 from the Church and we rode north up Kennedy. I know it's north because we passed Stouffville road which is North =P It was pretty intense going up and when we reached our first pit stop, we knew we weren't entirely ready for it. Because we thought it was the first 10km. And it was only the first 5 km. So we stopped there for WAY longer than we should've =P fixed up Sam's trippy bike and got some food. Food being chewy bars and water and hot chocolate =) we didn't know we wouldn't see a pit stop for a good 15km of uphill.
So we came to like the most intense hill set ever. Like your electronic bike can't even imagine this with it's fancy programmed settings. Because it was like....intense =P we had to stop at every hill top because there were so many of them and because it was so physically straining. But PTL! =) We made it. and then we got to the pit stop.
Oh and we saw this HUMONGOUS green (tractor * truck)^2 thing and it took up a lane and a half without even trying and it scared us so badly. But we made it alive =) And freddy kind of cheered us on by driving by us and honking and taking pictures WHILE driving which is extremely dangerous =P Don't try it at home kids. or on the road.

We got to the pit stop and then after it was SO much easier. It took us the same amount of time to finish the 30km that it took us to finish the 15km uphill. It was pretty funny =p On the way back it was BEAUTIFUL scenery and it was pretty smooth. just the fact that your butt hurts a lot. From sitting on the seat for so long. we didn't take many pit stops. It was fun. And we saw freddy a couple times. It started getting hot and it wasn't like really cold or anything. We actually sweated so much =P I know I did. Sweat through 5 layers of clothing. Each one was wet by the end. But it was just really relaxing and there was no worries when doing it. We were just...doing it. I'll probably do it more often in the summer. or the spring. just not so late in october =P makes it harder to dress. But seeing the leaves change up north is amazing =) they're so much nicer than down here. There's a building like...every 100m. Here it's a building every metre.

Last night was fellowship. Was the first time I did worship. It was quite the experience and maybe a lesson that I need to learn. I did worship last year but it was different. Different team. And also not as much instruments. Yesterday I had gone to school and I didn't do so well on my math test but that's not a big deal and I went to fellowship and it seemed to just drop from my mind because fellowship can just do that =) Worship practice was fun though we didn't get through everything and the night started. I still hadn't fully created my sharing but I guess it worked out. I really liked the silent time because it really gave me time to think. To just think about worship and the words and how I needed to let go. I was regretful that cell group time was so short. We didn't think we had enough time so we split into pairs but i do understand nat's need of whole cell group prayer and discussion. I miss that. We need more of that =\ And my own time with my partner....it was....he seemed to be looking somewhere else and I think i know that he's going through something but...yea. It'll take some time for our whole cell group to bond better but it'll happen. And last night's worship....it felt really messy and I couldn't fully sing out because I was so unsure of WHAT to sing because the guitars were just so loud and i could barely hear evelyn, kevin or myself so it...was kind of hard =\ but from the feedback from the group it appears that they didn't realize. They all had a good time of worship. We'll have to work on that though. Coordination. Maybe do it like Agnes' Praise and Power.

So now it's work time. so i best be going. AV tomorrow too =P

p.req.: spending more time with God, to be in tune with Him and not to get caught up in everything small.

thanks
-Chris

A little prayer

I don't quite know what to say
Tonight was alot of things
Alot
It was amazing, it was convicting, it was truthful, it was honest, it was heart breaking, it was silent, it was a struggle, worshipful, and at the same time I just couldn't let go. I was on worship team and I couldn't really look out into the crowd. It was so distracting. And the fact that I couldn't follow was also so distracting and I know it's like you're supposed to lift worship into God's hands but when you don't know what to sing , where to sing, you can barely hear your voice..... I don't know
But one thing's for sure. I REALLY need to pray. To give it up to God and just forget about everything else. I felt a lot tonight. I saw a lot tonight. There's something about fellowship that's just pure and raw.
I also need to sleep =/
P. Request: no more image management. It's frustrating and pointless. It also takes me away from God.

Watch the clouds drift silently across the sky

Hey

so i guess i'm just going to write a small short thing about yesterday.

Yesterday we had our A-group thing again and sadly we didn't have full attendance but with the 5 that were there, it was really great and we just talked about random stuff. We went till 10:30 which is like the longest we've ever gone =P But still it was really great just having that time together. Talking about whatever was happening to us. And praying for each other. Although short.

Today at school I touched the Smart Board and stood in front of the class for the first time =P it was kind of funny. Easy stuff. The kids knew it. but it was fun =)

stoked for tomorrow.
intense stuff
now to study for math
bye friends

p. requests:
- love
- sharing about thanksgiving
- spending more time with him
thanks

-Chris

Meet me here in the midst of the autumn breeze..

Hey

So I haven't really blogged since Saturday. I think. Yes. Because it was a good day =)

So i guess i'll go into Sunday. Worship was epic =)
it was really fun doing av for it. It was just....well it isn't as chills as it normally is but it was still pretty good and I really felt like the worship flowed from the band's hearts and it was just really great and it was good to see so many people here at such an early time =)
and the sermon was pretty good and it was very straightforward. About how we have to really question ourselves and really think about our faith if we aren't producing good fruit or if we're not being pruned.

And maybe that's something I've been trying to deal with. Whether I'm producing good fruit or not. Or rather whether I'm producing plentiful amounts of it. Because I feel like a lot of my time nowadays is wasted on...really fleeting things. Like playing flash games. and when I'm on my msn, my conversations aren't really fruitful and I need to put more effort into them and really showing love and care in whatever I do.
So Sunday kind of just went by and I didn't get to go biking or anything like that because the weather was kind of cold and i tried doing homework. Kind of got some done. Think I got my pedigree done. But yea.

Monday was Thanksgiving. And I was really determined to go outside because it wasn't like the BEST weather but it was decent and I hadn't been out in so long I felt so trapped inside. So I went out in the afternoon and it was just nice. It was cold. And I have to figure out a way to dress warmly for next week's Ride for Refugees but it was nice just sitting there at St.A. I"m not quite sure why I pick St.a's all the time. To just sit there and stare out. Maybe it's because it's usually empty and there's steps. Maybe it's because there's memories. Maybe...I don't know. I think I do know though. But i shouldn't be expecting things. It's dumb of me. But nonetheless, it's a great place to just sit because you're kind of surrounded but you still have a horizon to look at. I also ran a lap =P but i'm so out of shape.
But it was just really good. Praying. Talking to God. Singing some songs. Sadly I didn't have a Bible. My sister also left yesterday. I won't be seeing her for like 2 months because she might not come back for the birthdays. So it'll be hard to just talk to her but I'm thankful for her =) and just having her back for the weekend. It's just....good to talk to her. I guess within my family she's the only one I can really talk to about God and fellowship.

Today was tuesday. I went back to school after a long weekend. I guess it's kind of normal. Stuff still happens. It was kind of upsetting when I saw the test results of my peer helping class because a lot of them didn't get very high but I know they have the capability because I've seen them doing it. But i get to teach them my first lesson on two step equations on thursday =) yay! First lesson =) Kind of excited and kind of nervous but they're cool kids.
Another thing to be excited about. Luke 4:18 is doing a giant council wide performance of Don't Stop Believing. It's going to be EPIC. =) choreography and everything. Band Aid sounds amazing =) And it's on a thursday! so i don't miss fellowship. Sadly I have to miss Koolskool. I haven't been there in a while =\ I miss it. It was some good times.

And tonight we had our k-cab cell group. It was about sticking with something and really keeping up effort to influence somebody and be their friend no matter how hard it can get. Rules just to remind myself: Empathy, Being there from the Beginning and Real Sacrifice. =) Something to really apply. And then I'll blog about it. Maybe it'll be in the craziest of places =) Well it's getting late and I'm trying REALLY hard to sleep earlier.

P. Requests:
~ talking to God whilst at school and seeing where He's working and to keep at whatever he has called for me
~ really doing devos
~ being humble and really not thinking about my own, ridiculously small and foolish wants
~ keep praying for others.
thanks =)

-Chris

Little Things =)

Hey =)

So today was an awesome day =)
why you may ask?
well you're about to find out =)

so i woke up. Nice and early. around 8. Kind of was tired but it's good to wake up so early. Maybe not tomorrow. it'll be super early =P So this morning it was Epic Worship Practice. Epic =P It was so many people! and the AV is actually going to require INTENSE concentration =) unless the usual amount of concentration which is still concentrating but it's alright to just listen and sing along. This time it's gonna be intense =) hopefully i can still worship though. Like feel what the words sing and proclaim it in my heart because if i did it with my mouth then i won't concentrate =P
so it's gonna be super awesome
and it's just really great seeing all the people doing it. and just...joining together in worship =)
and my energy's still pretty high from last night

And then worship practice ended and I moved some clothes for the clothing drive. SUCH a workout =P it was like some pretty heavy and intense stuff. Sometimes i wonder that they didn't have to make gyms if people helped with the homeless and poverty initiatives. Building houses, lifting canned food, lifting used clothes and all that kind of stuff is really good for working out. You know it's like better than the gym because it helps with 2 things. helping others and spreading the gospel. and working out. haha =) so that was fun. We had SO much clothes. and the crazy thing is that we still had like 30 garbage bags worth of clothes. it's absolutely RIDICULOUS. =P it's amazing what our church has accomplished when we work as a community. That much clothing could probably clothe like a whole impoverished village. Maybe. A small one =) seriously though. There's so much clothes. It's crazy.

And then that was great and I had to leave for lunch with my family =) DIM SUM! And it was just fun talking to my sister. And we talked about fellowships and worship and it was just really great because I haven't talked to her in a while and there's just so many things I guess i wish i could ask her about but it's still good just to talk to her when she comes out =) She's a great person. and so then we went shopping as is usually customary. as it's my sister =P not to say she shops a lot. just when she comes back. =) I didn't buy anything. I think the biggest buying temptation was buying a threadless t-shirt along with the others. but i didn't. Because i don't need it. Trying not to buy anything for a good 3 months.

And then I went to Ben's house for a potluck with just a bunch of my school friends =) That was great. Not having chilled with them for so long, it was just fun. Like I see some of them at school but it's not the same because you're always engulfed in school work but this time it was just really fun and great =) Though I guess I do feel like sometimes when I'm around my school friends i'm so uncontrolled. Like I do spontaneous things and sometimes they're fun and amusing but i really need to think about how it affects me and how i should really be portraying myself because like I need to think about the things I do in front of them. If they're righteous and just...good in God's sight.

well time's up =)
sleep time
epic waking up tomorrow =P
-Chris

PRAISE THE LORD! Drifting wood =)

Praise the lord!

Hey =)
Tonight was construction night and we really didn't what it would be about until last night but that was cool =)
I guess I personally didn't know what to expect of it and I wasn't really prepared for it. But god really blessed me with just .....so many blessings
So there was some av mix up with me and Ben and t wasn't too great for my mom because she's pretty stressed out with my sister coming home and stuff.
So I went back home, got there at fellowship just a little earlier and helped out with some av. I'd talk about some stuff but it's confidential. But that's alright =)
Anyways the night started off with worship and it was good =)
And then Simon shared and it was just ....it's amazing when people share because it's just so real =P haha stating the obvious but it's so amazingly true

And then came the actual program for the night and it was building marshmallow towers . Fun =P OH and our CGLs all prayed before we started which I really loved because it's not like we're going into discussion alone and we can all support each other. =)
Tower building was real fun. Really disorganized but fun =). And people you never wouldve imagined just make these super structurally sound things. Awesome =)
And then we tested them. Ours ended up being a giant mound which held up unil the bible. And I guess when I think about it now in amore metaphorical sense, it's true how we really need to build our supports strong because sometimes they're going to some really heavy things that bring us down but that's when our faith is REALLY tested.
So it was afun acvity and I thought wih only 20 minutes left,we wouldn't be able to well discuss in our cell groups. DRIFTING WOOD! =)

It was soooooooooooo good =)
Like Praise The Lord!
There was like more talking during discussion and one guy talked like a lot even though he wasn't from mcbc. I got to know him better later =)
But yea, we got through the discussion and we then split off into pairs. This was like THE most PTL momen of the whole night. I got to know one of my cell group members better and it was so amazing how he was sonopen about his week and his earnest to just come to fellowship even though he wasn't Christian but he wanted to learn more about God and the whole idea of believing in him. And when I talked, he gave me some advice and it was pretty awesome. It humbled me, because even though he was so new to it, he was so opn about it and he gave really good insight. It was like things I already knew but it reminded me that I should be more open with my friends.
And he prayed for me! Even thigh he wasn't christian. I was like Oh My Gosh You Are AWESOME! =)
Crazy awesome stuff

And then there were sharings like heartbreaking sharings and it was just so amazing because it was the true essence of fellowship. My eye got wet. Sadly no crying. But it was so amazing and like the overwhelming-urge-to-hug them kind of joy =)
And even after the night ended, I could see other people praying for each other and just keeping each other accountable. It was an amazing night and it's SO clear that God truly moved tonight. Love GOD! =)
So I need to keep in prayer for people and also that I take the tested to really put love and effort and passion into my devos and prayer.
PTL!

-Chris

Jonas Brothers, Hedley, and a Lesson learned

Hey

I had a strong urge to blog today because I could really see God pushing me and burdening me with certain things and I hope I never forget them because they're so strong.

Today I went to WE day by Free the Children and it was pretty intense. I guess since I went last year I felt like I knew what was going to happen. At first I wasn't very excited for it. I guess I was like "oh yay chillage with friends downtown" but it was more than that. They also didn't give out t-shirts this year =P Which is probably a good thing. Makes me less demanding and selfish. But yea, I went in with all the people and it was different. We got kind of bad seats. Even though we legitly signed up this year =P But it was alright. It felt kind of like last year all over again. Except a little more cramped and when I looked at the We day list of speakers I guess I had gone to this year's We day without really expecting all too much because I didn't have a clue who these people were. Way wrong on my part.

It was pretty intense. There were performances and there were a couple speakers where it's like "huh?" but there were some really good ones. Like Pinball. The football player. I've never watched the sport, but that man is awesome. And the paradox that he memorized was amazing. It's true. How our world is supposed to have more, better things and yet we forget. I was reminded of that today. I also saw the Jonas Brothers, Justin Beiber (facepalm) and Hedley perform a couple songs. The first 2...the JB's are like...glorified. It was kind of amusing at first but then it turned kind of sad. There were all these girls screaming like mad in the mass of 16000. It was kind of strange how so many people dedicate themselves to facebooking and twittering and all this crazy stuff about the jonas brothers/justin beiber. They're just singers. Not particularly amazing too =\ But still, it was kind of eye opening. Maybe not in the best way. Hedley was good. Some good solid banding =P Sang a new song that I can't find on Youtube. And they did Never Too Late. But all in all, the entire event was good. Some good motivational speeches and I really pray that it'll stay in my heart and that i'll never forget how fortunate I am. Because i often do.

But that's not the bulk of it even. The biggest conviction was the poverty i saw. We passed the union station when we first left the ACC and we passed this homeless man and his dog and my friend was kind of half saying that we should give something to him because we just stepped out of a motivational conference. None of us stopped. None of us offered him anything. And as I kept walking, the Holy Spirit was really telling me "do something" because it's like it resounded so deep within me. It's like the teaching from Crazy Love about how we should really connect with the poor. And about the teaching that we should love others more than ourselves. So this was in my head the whole time. I ended up at a Timmy's. Our whole group did. I wasn't going to get anything. I didn't plan to. I had been cutting down on buying food outside if i wasn't absolutely needing it because I was trying to save up on just...funding for some sheep or something. But anyways, my friend was holding a lot of change and she didn't know what to do with it and i kind of half suggested that she buy a sandwich and give it to the first homeless person she saw. She didn't have enough.

But as I sat in the Timmy's God kept calling me to go and buy something. And I thought of the homeless man and the dog. So i decided to just buy a sandwich and a milk. And I started walking back. My plan was to do it discreetly. I don't like making a show of things =\. But I couldn't find the man. I looked around for him and there were like no homeless people. I went to literally every exit. And so I was wandering, a couple of my friends saw me and they asked me what i was doing. I told them. They tried to help me find him. Time was running out. And the Go train was approaching so we made one last try around a bend and as I passed it I saw a guy on a crate, he looked kind of fine but he was asking for change and I didn't think I'd have anyone else to give it to and so I gave him the sandwich and said God Bless. I turned the corner and there was this homeless man holding a sign and he looked like he hadn't really shaved in a REALLY long time and just...he looked so sad. And I felt so helpless. I had nothing to give him. I didn't have any food. And so I passed him. And it's not that I was dissapointed that I gave it to someone that looked like they were in less need because everybody deserves a kind gesture here and there. But that there was so much need and so little to give. Or at least in my case.

But there is SOOO much to give. So much. And so i walked back with my friends. And they thought it was really nice of me. I still didn't feel like I'd done what God had really called me to. And so there was like 5 minutes where we were just standing at Union station and that whole time I wanted to get a sandwich from Mc D's and run and give it to the man but my friends told me i didn't have enough time. So on the Go train ride home. That's kind of what I was thinking of. That I could've done it. I had the time. And I didn't.

So this is what God's convicted of me. And i pray it doesn't leave me. Because this year, i'm going to work at it. My cell group is hopefully going to do a sandwich run. I'm doing street patrol with Luke. I've been too stagnant for too long.
And maybe this is what it is to be influential. To do random things that nobody would expect but in the end it shows our love for Christ and His sacrifice. Maybe today I showed my friends just a glimpse of God's kingdom. And I'm honored to be a part of that. Praise the Lord. Honestly =)

And that thing with the girl? it didn't happen yesterday =\
maybe tomorrow. I need to pray. Sam was right, I shouldn't be doing it for the reason that Sam and Simon told me. Thanks friends =) All of you. Who are reading this. Love you =)

-Chris

He is the loving architect

Hey

So today I learned to play "she is love" on guitar =) Which is quite the accomplishment because I haven't touched my guitar in like forever. So it was nice just playing today =) And it's actually a fairly easy song. Once you get the hang of it.

Today was a pretty relaxed day overall. Did some math. Which is one out of 4 subjects that I have to do stuff for =P I'm so lazy. And procrastinator. It's like ridiculous. I'll pick it back up. Especially how i don't have school on monday because of We Day =P Pretty stoked for it. I hope it'll be awesome and that I can really take away from it. And not just find it as a social with like all my friends =)

So I guess to the bulk of it all, yesterday. Yesterday was the first bible study of the KNA year and I was paired up with Jeff because Steph and PET people were gone. And Jeff didn't go to prestudy. I guess I was unfair. As in a large part of me was still hesitant even after I got to church at like 6:30. I kind of wanted to be with my own group. To see how they answered. To share experiences with my co-cell group leaders. To see them draw the house. And in that way, I guess I wasn't really open to how God could use me in the other cell group. But the night started. And I found out Freddy could make pro presenter go without having to sit at the actual laptop. Yay for Iphones that have proremote =P But anyways, it ended and then I went in with Jeff and the rest of GAH. I still didn't feel like we'd planned enough. We had called each other for like an hour trying to go over it and kind of like getting it smoothed out. I think for me it was a little hard because I had already made a schedule with Brian and Nat Tay but we tried. We got like....2/3 done before Jeff had to go.

So the night started. We started off with drawing God and it was kind of fun because some people drew the weirdest things =P Ryan draw a very buff stickman. Then we basically went into the room and started our discussion. To summarize it up...it was alright I guess but I couldn't follow sometimes and I guess it's also a reflection of my own ability to plan. I was also very long winded. And I need to be more comfortable with silence. Because silence can be really valuable and awesome. And at the end, they prayed. Which is good. I ended up catching the last like minute of my own cell group =P There's a new guy and he's really cool. Cept he's tricky because he told me he was Brian and I legitly believed him =P

Our name is apparently Drifting Wood now. Which is pretty cool. The explanation? We're all drifting and lost at see until one day we wash up on shore and see God and He uses us to build his awesome house =) Love it. They're so cool =) And they drew the cutest house. Still a little sad that I missed it but in the perspective of things, I have a whole year with them =)

And tomorrow the boys told me I should tell her. I guess it's a topic i seem to have forgotten for a while. Maybe because i didn't see her all that much. I've been so busy whenever I see her that I barely get to talk to her. And I don't know...I should be scared or just anxious about telling her but it feels so unreal. As if i'm not going to do it. I don't even know how. I run it through my head and it sounds terribly dumb. Like it's so selfish. That i'm doing this. Isn't it? I have to pray about it.

And so this is probably the end of this post as it's getting a little late. I'll probably write one tomorrow. Pray?

-Chris