Beautiful One

Hey

Last night was fellowship as I guess is every Friday. And it was actually....well it had many parts to it and overall though, it was kind of exhausting and at the same time, uplifting.

The school day ended with me running like a crazy person through the halls to my locker and back to the bus. I had just finished a math test. And it had been pretty rushed. But altogether I felt pretty alright. School had been alright that day. Nothing...major. More time spent with my peer helping kids. They're actually beginning to be an amazing part of my day. =P Sometimes it's really funny when they try talking to me about cultural things and now that they know I'm completely non-rap-knowledgeable, it's kind of funny =) And I'm pretty excited about possibly teaching them a lesson and it's just great trying to teach them. And on Friday one of the kids who's usually a joker said in a semi-joking way "why do you care so much?" and i'm like " because i want you to pass this course. Don't you?" And...it was just something that I thought was important. Not quite sure why. But I think it is.
Oh and this past week I went to the AGO and it was just really fun spending time with people that I hadn't spent a lot of time with and just taking picture and being silly and just not having to worry about school =) And there was like massive traffic jam on the way back and I dont' know if God wanted me to talk to the friend I was sitting beside. I guess I really look up to him and he's really awesome but I find it hard to talk to him.

So last night was a Friday night. And it was the second time I did worship. It was also Faith Night. And I had kind of looked over the discussion but to be honest, I wasn't 100% ready. Not even 50=\ but I guess I thought looking it over was good enough. It's not. So I got there early to do worship. And I guess I was kind of surprised to be the guitarist. Usually I'm not the lead acoustic. Just the person who brings it. But it was really something I had to lift up to God because in many ways, it doesn't matter what my skill in guitar is. Just that I do it out of pure worship for God.
And it was actually really great when we prayed, just the 3 of us and they all encouraged me and I was reminded of what worship really is. It's free. It's as simon said, a reaction. It has no rules. Just love, and God.
But it also seemed that worship went by so fast and part of me hadn't been in like...that state where i'd thought over my week and I'd just taken time away before worshipping so I was half there and half not and so afterwards I found myself just saying the words over again and understanding what i'd sung that night. in the shower. After the whole night had gone over. But it was good. I need to get back into that kind of state. Where I'm really just lifting things to God.

The night turned out to be a lot of fun but at the same time it was kind of...shallow. I agree, it seemed kind of fake for some of us and so much of it was kind of like pumping energy out. It was fun but I guess in my group it was hard to bond because there were different levels of comfort and I was the only guy. I kind of wanted to be back in my own cell group. I missed them. But I guess it was also good being back like in the fellowship. But there wasn't much discussion and so I guess it was something I was looking forward to it. But it's nobody's fault. It just happened to be that way. But I think it's good that we have something to talk about next week =)

and today...was good. spent some time in the morning reading the Bible and just....it was good. Though i did waste a lot of time =\ almost finished bio.

p.req: for other people, and that i spend more time with God in silence

-Chris