Heyyy
So i haven't blogged for about 3 days. Which I guess is a considerable amount considering that I usually blog once every 2 days =P
School's been alright for the past couple days. My peer helping math class is gone so i have like nothing to do in that time period and so I get to do research but in general, with that class gone I feel so....empty because school isn't really progressing. It's just happening. Which is bad =\ But on Tuesday it was a really great way to start off the morning because I got to go on my very first photoshoot. The day started off kind of gloomy with the weather but the sun came out in time for our photoshoot and so we went and it was kind of chilly but it was nice =) I carried around an apple, putting it on different places and taking pictures. It felt good using a film camera =) so much more authentic. I have a couple shots left. Maybe take some casual people shots.
But other than that, not too much excitement =P in the realm of school at least. Some interesting things but maybe i'll bout those later. It's getting kind of late. But anyways, I called up Jeff last night and we talked for a little while. I wish i could see him in person. It'd be so much better but hopefully he's got the bible study somewhat down. I'll be partnering up with him this friday. It's sad because I want to be with my own cell group during the first bible study =\ and we planned it to use all 4 cell group leaders too. But it's alright because it'll work out in the end =)
Last night's lesson for K-cab cell group was on accountability =) And we watched some pretty funny videos and then it reminded me a lot about the Q3 sermon from Andy Stanley called "doing life". It's some good stuff =) But PY, Olivia and Tania led it pretty well =) Though it was extensive. They're getting harder to remember =P so much stuff
Tonight I was rooftopping with the VBC team and it's great stuff .We prayed for each other. Sad that some of them couldn't make it and I'm going to miss them Friday. But they're amazing =) And i thank God so much that despite the cold, we could just spend time with each other talking about whatever we were going through =) Love them.
Well it's getting late so i'll keep it short =)
goodnight all
-Chris
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
Uni Fair and She is love =)
Hey =)
Haha i seem to be in a better mood. Or I guess just happier =) Which is pretty good I think. It's been a good day. Relaxed. Hopefully there's no last minute homework that i forgot =P
Yesterday I went to Uni fair with my parents. I couldn't go with my friends or my church friends because public school people (most people =P ) went on Friday and then my school friends went today at like 8 in the morning and of course i wasn't going to miss prestudy and some good old fashion sunday service =) It turned out alright. Going with my parents. They were kind of like "go ask some more questions!" and so i guess i did. Which I guess was good. Except I realized yesterday that I'm not ready to pick. I probably don't WANT to pick =P at this moment. I'm probably not capable of making an informed choice either because i haven't taken all the 3 sciences. But i'll get to that point =P where i'll be informed enough. But it was a good experience. Kind of far going downtown. And was tired by the end of it but altogether, it was good =)
Today was another Sunday. You know how Sundays can be kind of long =P Today wasn't a bad kind of long. it was long. But it felt good =) And despite the fact that i should be really tired, i'm not. Strangely =) It's crazy. Maybe because it was just so full of energy. I loved it =) So this morning I got to church and I made the snacks, did AV and sat through Driven. The message...was one that I guess to be honest was a little strange partly because i missed the rest of the road signs series. And I kind of wanted to hear Lou's continuation but still it was good. A little refresher I guess from what I already knew or what I've already been taught.
Afterwards, I experienced a piece of true fellowship. sadly i had to miss sunday school. But I think it was good. Having that time. of vulnerabillity with one another and i learned something about myself today. Rather not learned something but rather, it felt like he was going through almost the same things i had gone through. To some degree. And I realized that I had thought i was over her a lot of times. And sometimes it results to the fact that i'm not. When I see her on Fridays and Sundays. But I realized that maybe it's not as distressing as I thought. That maybe God's teaching me something through the experience. That He's letting me use it right now even as a way to encourage others because i've walked down that path. I'm STILL walking down that path. But God has His ways.
I was reading about Saul/Paul and all of Acts for the past couple of days. It's a pretty epic adventure. It's like crazy just how the Spirit works. And one of the big things that hit me was that Paul was put in prison for 3 years while was like waiting to appeal to Caesar I think. It's crazy. THREE years. None of it's in the bible. They just said it was 3 years. And i'm pretty sure in those 3 years it might've had it's ups and downs and maybe a lot of joyous moments happened in there and at the same time maybe there was pain but after that, so much more happened. So God's plan is AMAZING. it's also huge. and spannning through like...SO many years =)
And afterwards we had some lunching with a couple of k-cab people =) It was alright. Just talking about some school stuff and u-fair. Nice chilling time =) Prestudy was pretty good. First prestudy of the year and we brought up some really good points. And I really like the end how a lot of people shared. Just made me so honored because it means that God's really bonding us through Tuesdays and just in general. I'm so excited to be with these people =) It's just amazing.
And then AFTER that our awesome cell group except calvin because he was at u-fair went into a room planned out what our schedule is for this friday. We talked about how we weren't quite sure about the talking level of our cell group but Brian was totally like "it was only the first week" and it's so true. We can't already judge them like that. And so we figured out the way we're going to execute it. It sounds awesome. Nat Tay and Brian are so awesome =) Calvin is too. Cept i haven't been able to plan and talk with him. So we have a schedule planned out =) Not following the original guideline fully. We didn't really get some of the parts so...we cut them out =P but the main message is the same =) So I guess this week i have to be just that much more aware of how God's moving in my life. and to meet Him there. excited =) for bible study.
And then being a GM and not feeling like going home to an empty house, I decided to stay at church and clean up the old basement. Use some tetris skills, clean up the storage room and stuff. So i hope it looks better. I certainly hope it does. Threw out some papers. Recycled that crazy Arizona bottle that Simon can't clean up =P. Made the stage look cleaner and just tried to tidy stuff up in general. It looks better i think. Or at least Nat told me so =P During that, Nat and PY were having their good ole accountability time. By the time i finished cleaning up, they had just about finished. So we kind of chilled together =P
They were supposed to write their blog but it ended up that we all kind of jammed and just had fun. Singing some old school songs like "from the earth to the grave from the grave to the sky" haha forgot the name =P but it was just pretty great. I ended up going home like....4 hours later than i had expected but that's alright. It was some great times =)
So i'm excited for the school week =) PTL =)
-Chris
Haha i seem to be in a better mood. Or I guess just happier =) Which is pretty good I think. It's been a good day. Relaxed. Hopefully there's no last minute homework that i forgot =P
Yesterday I went to Uni fair with my parents. I couldn't go with my friends or my church friends because public school people (most people =P ) went on Friday and then my school friends went today at like 8 in the morning and of course i wasn't going to miss prestudy and some good old fashion sunday service =) It turned out alright. Going with my parents. They were kind of like "go ask some more questions!" and so i guess i did. Which I guess was good. Except I realized yesterday that I'm not ready to pick. I probably don't WANT to pick =P at this moment. I'm probably not capable of making an informed choice either because i haven't taken all the 3 sciences. But i'll get to that point =P where i'll be informed enough. But it was a good experience. Kind of far going downtown. And was tired by the end of it but altogether, it was good =)
Today was another Sunday. You know how Sundays can be kind of long =P Today wasn't a bad kind of long. it was long. But it felt good =) And despite the fact that i should be really tired, i'm not. Strangely =) It's crazy. Maybe because it was just so full of energy. I loved it =) So this morning I got to church and I made the snacks, did AV and sat through Driven. The message...was one that I guess to be honest was a little strange partly because i missed the rest of the road signs series. And I kind of wanted to hear Lou's continuation but still it was good. A little refresher I guess from what I already knew or what I've already been taught.
Afterwards, I experienced a piece of true fellowship. sadly i had to miss sunday school. But I think it was good. Having that time. of vulnerabillity with one another and i learned something about myself today. Rather not learned something but rather, it felt like he was going through almost the same things i had gone through. To some degree. And I realized that I had thought i was over her a lot of times. And sometimes it results to the fact that i'm not. When I see her on Fridays and Sundays. But I realized that maybe it's not as distressing as I thought. That maybe God's teaching me something through the experience. That He's letting me use it right now even as a way to encourage others because i've walked down that path. I'm STILL walking down that path. But God has His ways.
I was reading about Saul/Paul and all of Acts for the past couple of days. It's a pretty epic adventure. It's like crazy just how the Spirit works. And one of the big things that hit me was that Paul was put in prison for 3 years while was like waiting to appeal to Caesar I think. It's crazy. THREE years. None of it's in the bible. They just said it was 3 years. And i'm pretty sure in those 3 years it might've had it's ups and downs and maybe a lot of joyous moments happened in there and at the same time maybe there was pain but after that, so much more happened. So God's plan is AMAZING. it's also huge. and spannning through like...SO many years =)
And afterwards we had some lunching with a couple of k-cab people =) It was alright. Just talking about some school stuff and u-fair. Nice chilling time =) Prestudy was pretty good. First prestudy of the year and we brought up some really good points. And I really like the end how a lot of people shared. Just made me so honored because it means that God's really bonding us through Tuesdays and just in general. I'm so excited to be with these people =) It's just amazing.
And then AFTER that our awesome cell group except calvin because he was at u-fair went into a room planned out what our schedule is for this friday. We talked about how we weren't quite sure about the talking level of our cell group but Brian was totally like "it was only the first week" and it's so true. We can't already judge them like that. And so we figured out the way we're going to execute it. It sounds awesome. Nat Tay and Brian are so awesome =) Calvin is too. Cept i haven't been able to plan and talk with him. So we have a schedule planned out =) Not following the original guideline fully. We didn't really get some of the parts so...we cut them out =P but the main message is the same =) So I guess this week i have to be just that much more aware of how God's moving in my life. and to meet Him there. excited =) for bible study.
And then being a GM and not feeling like going home to an empty house, I decided to stay at church and clean up the old basement. Use some tetris skills, clean up the storage room and stuff. So i hope it looks better. I certainly hope it does. Threw out some papers. Recycled that crazy Arizona bottle that Simon can't clean up =P. Made the stage look cleaner and just tried to tidy stuff up in general. It looks better i think. Or at least Nat told me so =P During that, Nat and PY were having their good ole accountability time. By the time i finished cleaning up, they had just about finished. So we kind of chilled together =P
They were supposed to write their blog but it ended up that we all kind of jammed and just had fun. Singing some old school songs like "from the earth to the grave from the grave to the sky" haha forgot the name =P but it was just pretty great. I ended up going home like....4 hours later than i had expected but that's alright. It was some great times =)
So i'm excited for the school week =) PTL =)
-Chris
Friday, September 25, 2009
Flaming hearts and a mind in need of change
Hey
So last night was the first ever cell group night for this KNA year and it was something that I guess i have to struggle with for a little while. I realized that I wasn't quite as ready as I thought I was. And my expectations need to change drastically because they're in such a lonely place right now. Maybe that last sentence didn't make quite as much sense. Basically, I guess i need to change my expectations to line up with God's plans and how He works because otherwise, I won't be the cell group leader that I should be and ought to be.
The program consisted of a crazy scavenger hunt followed by some light discussion. Even before the night began, i was kind of rushing stuff. There was encouragement notes to be folded and i didn't end up finishing all of them as i had hoped =\ i only got...like 10-13 done. But hopefully i'll be able to write them consistently each week. Maybe not that much. But at least 5 or 6. Because I've found that they are really uplifting. Sometimes it can be the little anonymous ones that don't have names on them but they're so full of happy joy that it makes you laugh =) And AV had to be watched and it was again, kind of worrying to see that it was only Nelson and that there wasn't me or Ben watching him set-up. And I feel like we're not being fair to Steph when she does slides because we always call on her last minute and she should be able to worship as part of the fellowship and not have to do slides. Because slides does take a lot of concentration and isn't as free as AV. Which i guess touches on the whole training issue =\ but that'll be later.
So the night started, worship commenced and then we got our cell groups. Firstly, we only spotted like 2 of the people we were supposed to get. Well more like 4 but I couldn't really tell the grade 9's because i'm not grade 9 knowledgable. But in the end we ended up getting...like 6 or 7 i think. Which i guess was a small number compared to other groups that had like 14. but i guess sometimes a small number is better to work with. The scavenger hunt was fun, yet it felt so forced and rushed that we didn't really get to chill and stuff. Like it was a lot of me and Nat telling them what to do because they weren't very enthusiastic. They laughed maybe...once throughout the whole thing. But it's their first week. But anyways, we went through the entirity of the scavenger hunt and the whole time, I was worried because they really weren't that excited and sometimes when other people are excited, it spreads around but it ugess apparently not. Again though, maybe that's my own flawed sight. I guess the part of the night for me was the light discussion afterwards. We were in our own little room and we were talking about ideas for a cell group name and I felt like me and Nat talked a lot because they didn't respond. So we gave them a week to think it up. And we each went around as cell group leaders explaining why we chose to become cell group leaders and we told them we're going to try to be as open as possible because we really...wanted to put as much effort and love and fellowship as possible into this cell group. I don't know how it turned out.
I guess the night ended off and we passed out a lot of encouragement notes, everything was kind of rushed. I barely got to talk to anyone. AV again. Ben had to leave early. She also left earlier. And I miss Ryan. In a sense it was kind of cool not knowing which cell group he was in. I didn't know the typo on the contact sheet was him. But he's in a good cell group for him. Wow i sound like he's gone forever. I don't know, it seems like now that he's in a cell group, i'll spend less time with him because it's not like everyone together like the first couple weeks. but it'll be alright. saw him today at u-fair. but u-fair's another blog.
so i need to pray. i need prayer. please? because I can already feel myself begin to compare. Begin to compare my cell group with other cell groups and that's just TERRIBLE and utterly TERRIBLE because that doesn't let God move. God doesn't move the same way in every cell group. God doesn't put the same people in every cell group. God doesn't CHALLENGE us all in the same way. And so i need to be open. i need to pray to trust God. Because that's what i need to do. I need to have faith in God and let the Holy Spirit work and I need to be excited for this cell group because I am. I just can't worry about it. Because worrying is thinking God isn't big enough.
and we need a name =P
thanks
-Chris
So last night was the first ever cell group night for this KNA year and it was something that I guess i have to struggle with for a little while. I realized that I wasn't quite as ready as I thought I was. And my expectations need to change drastically because they're in such a lonely place right now. Maybe that last sentence didn't make quite as much sense. Basically, I guess i need to change my expectations to line up with God's plans and how He works because otherwise, I won't be the cell group leader that I should be and ought to be.
The program consisted of a crazy scavenger hunt followed by some light discussion. Even before the night began, i was kind of rushing stuff. There was encouragement notes to be folded and i didn't end up finishing all of them as i had hoped =\ i only got...like 10-13 done. But hopefully i'll be able to write them consistently each week. Maybe not that much. But at least 5 or 6. Because I've found that they are really uplifting. Sometimes it can be the little anonymous ones that don't have names on them but they're so full of happy joy that it makes you laugh =) And AV had to be watched and it was again, kind of worrying to see that it was only Nelson and that there wasn't me or Ben watching him set-up. And I feel like we're not being fair to Steph when she does slides because we always call on her last minute and she should be able to worship as part of the fellowship and not have to do slides. Because slides does take a lot of concentration and isn't as free as AV. Which i guess touches on the whole training issue =\ but that'll be later.
So the night started, worship commenced and then we got our cell groups. Firstly, we only spotted like 2 of the people we were supposed to get. Well more like 4 but I couldn't really tell the grade 9's because i'm not grade 9 knowledgable. But in the end we ended up getting...like 6 or 7 i think. Which i guess was a small number compared to other groups that had like 14. but i guess sometimes a small number is better to work with. The scavenger hunt was fun, yet it felt so forced and rushed that we didn't really get to chill and stuff. Like it was a lot of me and Nat telling them what to do because they weren't very enthusiastic. They laughed maybe...once throughout the whole thing. But it's their first week. But anyways, we went through the entirity of the scavenger hunt and the whole time, I was worried because they really weren't that excited and sometimes when other people are excited, it spreads around but it ugess apparently not. Again though, maybe that's my own flawed sight. I guess the part of the night for me was the light discussion afterwards. We were in our own little room and we were talking about ideas for a cell group name and I felt like me and Nat talked a lot because they didn't respond. So we gave them a week to think it up. And we each went around as cell group leaders explaining why we chose to become cell group leaders and we told them we're going to try to be as open as possible because we really...wanted to put as much effort and love and fellowship as possible into this cell group. I don't know how it turned out.
I guess the night ended off and we passed out a lot of encouragement notes, everything was kind of rushed. I barely got to talk to anyone. AV again. Ben had to leave early. She also left earlier. And I miss Ryan. In a sense it was kind of cool not knowing which cell group he was in. I didn't know the typo on the contact sheet was him. But he's in a good cell group for him. Wow i sound like he's gone forever. I don't know, it seems like now that he's in a cell group, i'll spend less time with him because it's not like everyone together like the first couple weeks. but it'll be alright. saw him today at u-fair. but u-fair's another blog.
so i need to pray. i need prayer. please? because I can already feel myself begin to compare. Begin to compare my cell group with other cell groups and that's just TERRIBLE and utterly TERRIBLE because that doesn't let God move. God doesn't move the same way in every cell group. God doesn't put the same people in every cell group. God doesn't CHALLENGE us all in the same way. And so i need to be open. i need to pray to trust God. Because that's what i need to do. I need to have faith in God and let the Holy Spirit work and I need to be excited for this cell group because I am. I just can't worry about it. Because worrying is thinking God isn't big enough.
and we need a name =P
thanks
-Chris
Thursday, September 24, 2009
Par Cour off the roof anyone? =P
Heyyy
So I know this might seem like I'm writing a lot of blog posts because I wrote one yesterday but I felt like I just wanted to blog again =) And I missed out some stuff yesterday because I was in a hurry. Chances are that i'll forget some stuff again =P but that's alright
So yesterday after I came home from school, I blogged briefly about....tuesday night which was the bulk of my mind but I guess there was a bunch of other stuff that was on my mind. Not as big. but still on my mind. I also went to church for the vbc drama team meet up at the couches =) Which was awesome because we hadn't done it in so long and it kind of felt like last year when we tried reviving it during the beginning of the school year and I remember typing things like "hey guys i'll just be sitting there with my homework so come if you want/can" and it'd happen =)
I didn't quite know what to expect because I got called by Val at 4:45 whilst I was napping. I got called twice in 10 minutes. But it was cool =) I only expected to see me, val and PY but Simon ended up coming. We started just by talking about some math stuff. It seems that most of us have math this semester. Though we're at different levels/ different parts of the cirriculum =P and Simon's math teacher needs to teach him how to graph the basic functions because I can't teach him as well =P but it was alright. And then after a bit of that, we talked about...random stuff actually =P like teachers. and student ID's and...haha i don'tk now. Then Ben and me went down to check the AV equipment with Uncle Simon. We discovered that there's a whole lot of stuff missing. Which is bad =\ really bad. Because we're in charge of it. And having stuff missing means stuff is disappearing and that means we ain't being good stewards =\ I don't think we should spend a lot of money when we have enough equipment. so that was a little unsettling but we'll find it....somehow =)
So afterwards, we went on the roof. And for those who are reading this that have admin board powers, you didn't read this =P because technically we're not allowed to...but you know, we're not like blowing up stuff so i think it's the alrights =P but it was amazing. The sky was clear. The weather was spectacular and it was just so refreshing. There was a guitar and we just talked. About this year, our expectations of K-cab, our relationship with our parents, life, just everything and I loved it. I love these people =) and i wish the rest of them could've been with us up there but i know we're all pretty busy one way or another. But PTL =) PTL indeed.
Tonight I got to talk to my friend that I don't quite talk too much to about church. He didn't really agree with it but I think...it's been the first time in a while since I've talked in real life with someone about God and church. It's because most of my friends don't even breach the topic and when I talk about it, they're defensive and uninterested. But I"m sure God will provide opportunities this year, just I have to be able to go out of my comfort zone to embrace them.
And i'm still having trouble with the girl issue. But...i don't know really. It's confusing and I still don't know what to do. I'm not even sure if i should tell her. I should. I know i should. And i'll have to. Have to face it. I don't even know how to call my feelings anymore. At least the ones i have toward her. I thought it was friendship. Just getting to know her more. To make sure she's alright. and to just be able to talk to her about anything and just help her whenever she needs it.
we'll just have to see.
And last night i pumped out an encouragement note every 4 minutes. I guess that's pretty decent =P I'm going to try doing a lot more tonight. Goodnight friends =)
-Chris
So I know this might seem like I'm writing a lot of blog posts because I wrote one yesterday but I felt like I just wanted to blog again =) And I missed out some stuff yesterday because I was in a hurry. Chances are that i'll forget some stuff again =P but that's alright
So yesterday after I came home from school, I blogged briefly about....tuesday night which was the bulk of my mind but I guess there was a bunch of other stuff that was on my mind. Not as big. but still on my mind. I also went to church for the vbc drama team meet up at the couches =) Which was awesome because we hadn't done it in so long and it kind of felt like last year when we tried reviving it during the beginning of the school year and I remember typing things like "hey guys i'll just be sitting there with my homework so come if you want/can" and it'd happen =)
I didn't quite know what to expect because I got called by Val at 4:45 whilst I was napping. I got called twice in 10 minutes. But it was cool =) I only expected to see me, val and PY but Simon ended up coming. We started just by talking about some math stuff. It seems that most of us have math this semester. Though we're at different levels/ different parts of the cirriculum =P and Simon's math teacher needs to teach him how to graph the basic functions because I can't teach him as well =P but it was alright. And then after a bit of that, we talked about...random stuff actually =P like teachers. and student ID's and...haha i don'tk now. Then Ben and me went down to check the AV equipment with Uncle Simon. We discovered that there's a whole lot of stuff missing. Which is bad =\ really bad. Because we're in charge of it. And having stuff missing means stuff is disappearing and that means we ain't being good stewards =\ I don't think we should spend a lot of money when we have enough equipment. so that was a little unsettling but we'll find it....somehow =)
So afterwards, we went on the roof. And for those who are reading this that have admin board powers, you didn't read this =P because technically we're not allowed to...but you know, we're not like blowing up stuff so i think it's the alrights =P but it was amazing. The sky was clear. The weather was spectacular and it was just so refreshing. There was a guitar and we just talked. About this year, our expectations of K-cab, our relationship with our parents, life, just everything and I loved it. I love these people =) and i wish the rest of them could've been with us up there but i know we're all pretty busy one way or another. But PTL =) PTL indeed.
Tonight I got to talk to my friend that I don't quite talk too much to about church. He didn't really agree with it but I think...it's been the first time in a while since I've talked in real life with someone about God and church. It's because most of my friends don't even breach the topic and when I talk about it, they're defensive and uninterested. But I"m sure God will provide opportunities this year, just I have to be able to go out of my comfort zone to embrace them.
And i'm still having trouble with the girl issue. But...i don't know really. It's confusing and I still don't know what to do. I'm not even sure if i should tell her. I should. I know i should. And i'll have to. Have to face it. I don't even know how to call my feelings anymore. At least the ones i have toward her. I thought it was friendship. Just getting to know her more. To make sure she's alright. and to just be able to talk to her about anything and just help her whenever she needs it.
we'll just have to see.
And last night i pumped out an encouragement note every 4 minutes. I guess that's pretty decent =P I'm going to try doing a lot more tonight. Goodnight friends =)
-Chris
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
Autumn is the time of year that I should like to meet you here...
Hey
So i haven't blogged in a while. At least not on this blog. I have on the K-cab one but then again that wasn't really like broad and I can't ramble as much there =P
For the past couple of days I guess I don't know...life's been alright. Well the last time I wrote was Sunday night so I guess I'll start with Monday. Not that I remember too much from Monday...oh except for the fact that I took the bus the first time this year home =P it's actually pretty fun and kind of relaxing when there aren't a lot of people and it's just you looking out a pretty big window and it's...pretty great =) and then I saw Kevin, Neil and Mike get on the bus. Which was pretty cool. =) Especially because 2 of them are in my cell group. woot woot =P
which reminds me about encouragement notes. Which i have not been able to really do yet. I've only made a couple. Will make more. Tonight. Definitely =)
Especially because tonight i have a curfew. 11. dang. but it's good because then i get more sleep =)
So moving onto yesterday. Which was basically the K-cab group. Well that seemed to be the highlight of the day. It was a pretty good lesson. How to know when you have to bail out from a relationship. I guess I hope i won't have to apply this anytime soon but maybe i've already done it without really knowing. Like....some people that I don't really talk to anymore but then again maybe it wasn't really for the purpose of evangelism...but more because we kind of just drifted because we weren't really that close to begin with. But overall it was a pretty cool lesson and we talked about devos afterwards and like the past weeks, we just talked in general about our friends and how we're doing in terms of "influencing" them and applying scarcity, authority, likeability and.....the last one which i will remember sometime =P dang. Can't believe I already forgot it. Well...basically I thought it was a really good lesson but yesterday I guess i experienced some issues with just...self-image. As Andy Stanley would say, image management.
Oh yea, and i've been listening to Andy Stanley's series on Q3. which is actually pretty cool and pretty insightful. I'll digress from the above topic to write bout it a little =P So the first sermon was based on praying for something big because the way he put it was that most of our prayer life is revolved around the minusa (small things) of our everyday lives that are going to fix themselves anyway in the long run. And it talked about having something to pray for that's SOOO bold that it honors God. That it honors his greatness and it's also about having the faith in Him and his ability as GOD to answer your prayer. Which makes sense. So my 'big' thing is that our congregation move. That we all get up and do something if we've fallen into a sense of complacency or lukewarmness. And for K-cab and for all of KNA that by the end of this year, we'll all be comfortable to reach out to our friends. That we won't be afraid to reach out and tell our friends about our faith because we see the need for it and because we have found a constant home within our fellowship. HOME =) theme. second sermon was on accountability and being able to tell someone everything about your life and being that person to somebody else. To be so attached to them and so accountable to them that when they're alone, you want to go there with them because you just want to talk with them and stuff like that so much =) sounds awesome.
ALRIGHTYS! back to last night. It was weird because I felt myself being self-conscious. I also felt myself worrying about things that I needn't worry about. Too much of the "what am i going to say" stuff going through my head. Like thinking of what you'd say to a person before you talk to them. Because that stuffs dumb =\ These are my k-cab buddies. I should be like the most open with them above all people. I shouldn't have to worry about what they think. Sadly i did. And as I kind of watched them talk to her, i couldn't help wonder why I couldn't just freely talk. I was so scared i'd be awkward that in being scared, i end up being awkward. But I talked to a friend about it afterwards. But still. I keep finding myself making excuses. Maybe thinking that i'm a bother when...i'm not. because i know that these people love me so I need to get these thoughts out my head. I can't let Satan do this. Because when i lose openness with my brothers and sisters....then i begin to lose my relationship with people in general.
so pray for me?
=)
-Chris
So i haven't blogged in a while. At least not on this blog. I have on the K-cab one but then again that wasn't really like broad and I can't ramble as much there =P
For the past couple of days I guess I don't know...life's been alright. Well the last time I wrote was Sunday night so I guess I'll start with Monday. Not that I remember too much from Monday...oh except for the fact that I took the bus the first time this year home =P it's actually pretty fun and kind of relaxing when there aren't a lot of people and it's just you looking out a pretty big window and it's...pretty great =) and then I saw Kevin, Neil and Mike get on the bus. Which was pretty cool. =) Especially because 2 of them are in my cell group. woot woot =P
which reminds me about encouragement notes. Which i have not been able to really do yet. I've only made a couple. Will make more. Tonight. Definitely =)
Especially because tonight i have a curfew. 11. dang. but it's good because then i get more sleep =)
So moving onto yesterday. Which was basically the K-cab group. Well that seemed to be the highlight of the day. It was a pretty good lesson. How to know when you have to bail out from a relationship. I guess I hope i won't have to apply this anytime soon but maybe i've already done it without really knowing. Like....some people that I don't really talk to anymore but then again maybe it wasn't really for the purpose of evangelism...but more because we kind of just drifted because we weren't really that close to begin with. But overall it was a pretty cool lesson and we talked about devos afterwards and like the past weeks, we just talked in general about our friends and how we're doing in terms of "influencing" them and applying scarcity, authority, likeability and.....the last one which i will remember sometime =P dang. Can't believe I already forgot it. Well...basically I thought it was a really good lesson but yesterday I guess i experienced some issues with just...self-image. As Andy Stanley would say, image management.
Oh yea, and i've been listening to Andy Stanley's series on Q3. which is actually pretty cool and pretty insightful. I'll digress from the above topic to write bout it a little =P So the first sermon was based on praying for something big because the way he put it was that most of our prayer life is revolved around the minusa (small things) of our everyday lives that are going to fix themselves anyway in the long run. And it talked about having something to pray for that's SOOO bold that it honors God. That it honors his greatness and it's also about having the faith in Him and his ability as GOD to answer your prayer. Which makes sense. So my 'big' thing is that our congregation move. That we all get up and do something if we've fallen into a sense of complacency or lukewarmness. And for K-cab and for all of KNA that by the end of this year, we'll all be comfortable to reach out to our friends. That we won't be afraid to reach out and tell our friends about our faith because we see the need for it and because we have found a constant home within our fellowship. HOME =) theme. second sermon was on accountability and being able to tell someone everything about your life and being that person to somebody else. To be so attached to them and so accountable to them that when they're alone, you want to go there with them because you just want to talk with them and stuff like that so much =) sounds awesome.
ALRIGHTYS! back to last night. It was weird because I felt myself being self-conscious. I also felt myself worrying about things that I needn't worry about. Too much of the "what am i going to say" stuff going through my head. Like thinking of what you'd say to a person before you talk to them. Because that stuffs dumb =\ These are my k-cab buddies. I should be like the most open with them above all people. I shouldn't have to worry about what they think. Sadly i did. And as I kind of watched them talk to her, i couldn't help wonder why I couldn't just freely talk. I was so scared i'd be awkward that in being scared, i end up being awkward. But I talked to a friend about it afterwards. But still. I keep finding myself making excuses. Maybe thinking that i'm a bother when...i'm not. because i know that these people love me so I need to get these thoughts out my head. I can't let Satan do this. Because when i lose openness with my brothers and sisters....then i begin to lose my relationship with people in general.
so pray for me?
=)
-Chris
Sunday, September 20, 2009
Chris doesn't fit in teeter totters
Hey
Yesterday was a whole bunch of AV stuff =P AV practice in the morning and then mucking around in the afternoon until around 6 where I got picked up by Si to the Admin appreciation dinner. It was funny because most of it was in Mandarin or Canto so I really couldn't understand most of it but it was pretty fun because all the English people were sitting at our table and it was fun times =) they ate SOOOO much red bean stuff. It was insanity. and watermelon. =P
And then afterwards we went to Destiny's. Second time going to bubble tea in my life. I think. maybe 3rd. I think i went once with softball last year. But i don't really remember and i was just tagging along with my sister =P
so yea, it was fun. Just chilling. Never getting mango milk tea again though =P too sweet. Used Si's new Canon SLR camera to take some pictures. I wasn't quite used to it. Felt kind of weird and kind of creepy at the end though when i accidentally drank through PY's straw and like it probably looked disgusting. Because i accidentally dropped my straw into her straw and i was trying to get it out and well it's dumb and i probably shouldn't be writing bout it anyways.
But it was fun. I was a little awkward and I felt some times when it was just...weird because i was probably overthinking. For those of you who know, you know why probably. But overall it was fun. I'm excited for the November Service when the AV team will be the worship team =P It's gonna be one crazy time. Like 4 singers =P and then beats. and then 1 guitar. unbalanced much =P
So today was another Sunday. Sundays for some reason always feel really long. Like the morning is always a whole adventure of it's own because of AV, Children worship, Sunday school and just everything. And just seeing people is great and there's always that sense of like SO MUCH on sundays. Just so much rushing or going from place to place. So this morning was alright I guess. Super tired for some reason =P Maybe it was because i slept late and woke up early and did AV. Everybody looked kind of dead. Josh and Steph included. but it was a good service i guess. I messed up once. Forgot to unmute. Like always =\ But the sermon was really good. It was above putting your eyes on higher things. And i find I myself often forget to do that. I lose perspective. It's like what Crazy love and Q3 and a bunch of other stuff all have in common. Fixing your perspective so you can see that there's a place in Heaven that's so much greater than the place we have here so why do we take some much time fussing over the smallest things ever.
So today....I wasn't proud of myself =\ not that i usually am....i think. but today I felt...feelings. I don't know what to call them. Maybe someone calls it jealousy. I'm bad at naming feelings like those. I usually don't feel them because there usually isn't much to be jealous about. And maybe there's this giant part of me that doesn't want to call it jealousy and maybe it wasn't jealousy but it was ugly. Whatever it was. And i know what triggered it and i just felt so angry at myself. I felt so ashamed of it =| And so I pray that God will change that part of me. No matter how little it comes out that it'll change. Because if it never comes out, it's better than it coming out once every couple of months right? Sometimes it's just hard to understand God's grace. When something I do makes me feel this disgusting....shouldn't it make God absolutely wretch
He's absolutely amazing.
I went for another pear run today. For 2 hours =P it was super fun. went around to different places. Kind of sad that Vince wasn't home or else we could've got to like Hughson park and chilled. It's a small park but it's beautiful because there's nobody there =) and the trees provide some beautiful lighting with the sky. I just wish it would always be like this weather. But it won't. Winter's coming. But it's alright
School Id's tomorow. fun. And school starts again. As the weekend fades.
thanks team =)
-Chris
Yesterday was a whole bunch of AV stuff =P AV practice in the morning and then mucking around in the afternoon until around 6 where I got picked up by Si to the Admin appreciation dinner. It was funny because most of it was in Mandarin or Canto so I really couldn't understand most of it but it was pretty fun because all the English people were sitting at our table and it was fun times =) they ate SOOOO much red bean stuff. It was insanity. and watermelon. =P
And then afterwards we went to Destiny's. Second time going to bubble tea in my life. I think. maybe 3rd. I think i went once with softball last year. But i don't really remember and i was just tagging along with my sister =P
so yea, it was fun. Just chilling. Never getting mango milk tea again though =P too sweet. Used Si's new Canon SLR camera to take some pictures. I wasn't quite used to it. Felt kind of weird and kind of creepy at the end though when i accidentally drank through PY's straw and like it probably looked disgusting. Because i accidentally dropped my straw into her straw and i was trying to get it out and well it's dumb and i probably shouldn't be writing bout it anyways.
But it was fun. I was a little awkward and I felt some times when it was just...weird because i was probably overthinking. For those of you who know, you know why probably. But overall it was fun. I'm excited for the November Service when the AV team will be the worship team =P It's gonna be one crazy time. Like 4 singers =P and then beats. and then 1 guitar. unbalanced much =P
So today was another Sunday. Sundays for some reason always feel really long. Like the morning is always a whole adventure of it's own because of AV, Children worship, Sunday school and just everything. And just seeing people is great and there's always that sense of like SO MUCH on sundays. Just so much rushing or going from place to place. So this morning was alright I guess. Super tired for some reason =P Maybe it was because i slept late and woke up early and did AV. Everybody looked kind of dead. Josh and Steph included. but it was a good service i guess. I messed up once. Forgot to unmute. Like always =\ But the sermon was really good. It was above putting your eyes on higher things. And i find I myself often forget to do that. I lose perspective. It's like what Crazy love and Q3 and a bunch of other stuff all have in common. Fixing your perspective so you can see that there's a place in Heaven that's so much greater than the place we have here so why do we take some much time fussing over the smallest things ever.
So today....I wasn't proud of myself =\ not that i usually am....i think. but today I felt...feelings. I don't know what to call them. Maybe someone calls it jealousy. I'm bad at naming feelings like those. I usually don't feel them because there usually isn't much to be jealous about. And maybe there's this giant part of me that doesn't want to call it jealousy and maybe it wasn't jealousy but it was ugly. Whatever it was. And i know what triggered it and i just felt so angry at myself. I felt so ashamed of it =| And so I pray that God will change that part of me. No matter how little it comes out that it'll change. Because if it never comes out, it's better than it coming out once every couple of months right? Sometimes it's just hard to understand God's grace. When something I do makes me feel this disgusting....shouldn't it make God absolutely wretch
He's absolutely amazing.
I went for another pear run today. For 2 hours =P it was super fun. went around to different places. Kind of sad that Vince wasn't home or else we could've got to like Hughson park and chilled. It's a small park but it's beautiful because there's nobody there =) and the trees provide some beautiful lighting with the sky. I just wish it would always be like this weather. But it won't. Winter's coming. But it's alright
School Id's tomorow. fun. And school starts again. As the weekend fades.
thanks team =)
-Chris
Friday, September 18, 2009
BBQ ON FIRE!
PTL! =)
Hey guys
It's been one crazy night. Crazy day actually. almost non-stop.
School was one big roller coaster as I got my ghetto old school SLR camera, tried cramming 20 pages of intense Mendel bio into my head, tried learning about limits fast enough so i wouldn't fail my quiz and then finally it was pretty good in Mr. Cowan's class with the math and the helping and it was just fun because the kids are actually really cool and it's funny when you have to constantly remind them to do homework =P I guess it can get frustrating but it's really great seeing them get something. Like how to add polynomials
Got home, kind of decided whether or not I should've gone to steph's. I didn't really know. I guess I'm never great with chilling at people's houses. I don't know why. Maybe it's just my inability to socialize well with other people . I just don't easily mesh with people in social situations. i usually have to be flamboyant or loud or something =\
But I guess I ended up going. and I found out what cuddling is. Like I cuddled with Ryan =P which might sound awkward but it was funny. Kind of. But after a while when you get up, you feel absolutely disgusting because it's like you haven't moved for SOOOO long and maybe it's just me but i feel disgusting when i don't move. Or i'm just lying down watching tv. According to Vince, you use 20% less brain capacity when watching tv than when you're not doing anything. It's literally more deteriorating than doing nothing. Dang son =P so i guess i'm trying to cut down on the tv.
I ended up doing something productive that I'm kind of happy with. Played around with photoshop so I could get a piece of candy in an eye =P I haven't used photoshop in a while but it was fun and I hope it helped. And then I left early because I guess...i felt awkward there and just that I didn't really fit in. And I had to get home before 6 to change means of transport.
I think before I talk about the night....I guess I feel like I should say that it was an amazing night for me and I think it was a real learning experience. There were so many things that I did badly tonight or that I forgot or that I wasn't able to do and for that I feel...kind of disappointed maybe in myself and maybe in the fact that I just couldn't lift it fully up to God because if I did, I wouldn't be worrying. But I'm also extremely thankful for all the amazing people that helped with the program. I literally couldn't do it without them. No joke. They are like amazing. =)
So I got there at around 6 and there's already people downstairs prepping the lettuce and it was fun cutting it up and washing it and a bunch of guys preparing giant salads =P Super fun. And then we had to get the buns out and check out the grills and I had to set up AV for the worship team and then it was already 6:45 by then and so people started coming at 7. At first it wasn't too many but I was still outside setting up tables for the food and bringing stuff out. By the time i went in, my friends were actually there. Crazy =) They were like ALL there in a circle. It was kind of crazy. Seeing them in church. It's like two planes of my life colliding together. Into awesomeness =) I wish i could've talked with them. And asked them how they were doing .How they felt about it all but I had to keep running. Setting up, doing av and a whole bunch of other stuff. I screamed in a mike today =\ i just like contradicted myself. because i'm usually sensitive with the mikes. but i guess i just...wasn't thinking =\ hope they're alright. but that's the least of anything.
But anyways, the food happened and there were SO many people and we didn't know what to do with them yet because it was kind of like time to eat but the food wasn't ready so we tried stalling and we needed a bigger team but in the end, it was really awesome because people helped serve and get the patties in the buns and it worked pretty effectively. Except there wasn't enough food for everybody =\ some people didn't get meat. Mainly the worship team. And there wasn't quite enough dressing either but i guess it was good and I really hope people bonded during the eating time.
Rachel and P-Dawg and a bunch of other people were really amazing and they got to know all my friends =) I felt bad that I couldn't spend time with them but I'm glad they had people to meet. Daniel told me there's nice people =) which is like awesome. Because I'm so thankful that people were able to just open up and meet the new people. I'm terrible with names =P
And so food finished. And i went back in to start the games. I didn't realize until after that the counsellours were like amazing and cleaned the grills and stuff. They're AMAZING! =) PTL! There's like so many background people that helped out in little ways and in the end it was all so amazing. God has this crazy plan and it just comes together without people even realizing it sometimes =)
But overall, since i'm running out of time. I didn't do what I thought i would do for my little blurb. i actually missedo ut everything important =\ and I felt like it wasn't what I had in mind at all. And also, I didn't tell her .Maybe it was because it was just bad for her because she probably had enough on her mind or maybe just because....i don't know. I'll have to pray about it. But God really showed me awesome things tonight. My friends, despite their relunctancy at times, i think enjoyed it =) and I hugged sharon. Which i guess is supposed to be this big thing. I'm getting there...i think. Trying to really love everybody. EVERYBODY.well I guess that's a wrap up team =)
and i didn't write 9 encouragement notes =\
BUT since we aren't passing them out until next week i will write A BUNCH this weekend.
coolios =)
av tomorrow
crazy stuff
-Chris
PRAISE THE LORD!
it's been a HAPPY DAY! =)
Hey guys
It's been one crazy night. Crazy day actually. almost non-stop.
School was one big roller coaster as I got my ghetto old school SLR camera, tried cramming 20 pages of intense Mendel bio into my head, tried learning about limits fast enough so i wouldn't fail my quiz and then finally it was pretty good in Mr. Cowan's class with the math and the helping and it was just fun because the kids are actually really cool and it's funny when you have to constantly remind them to do homework =P I guess it can get frustrating but it's really great seeing them get something. Like how to add polynomials
Got home, kind of decided whether or not I should've gone to steph's. I didn't really know. I guess I'm never great with chilling at people's houses. I don't know why. Maybe it's just my inability to socialize well with other people . I just don't easily mesh with people in social situations. i usually have to be flamboyant or loud or something =\
But I guess I ended up going. and I found out what cuddling is. Like I cuddled with Ryan =P which might sound awkward but it was funny. Kind of. But after a while when you get up, you feel absolutely disgusting because it's like you haven't moved for SOOOO long and maybe it's just me but i feel disgusting when i don't move. Or i'm just lying down watching tv. According to Vince, you use 20% less brain capacity when watching tv than when you're not doing anything. It's literally more deteriorating than doing nothing. Dang son =P so i guess i'm trying to cut down on the tv.
I ended up doing something productive that I'm kind of happy with. Played around with photoshop so I could get a piece of candy in an eye =P I haven't used photoshop in a while but it was fun and I hope it helped. And then I left early because I guess...i felt awkward there and just that I didn't really fit in. And I had to get home before 6 to change means of transport.
I think before I talk about the night....I guess I feel like I should say that it was an amazing night for me and I think it was a real learning experience. There were so many things that I did badly tonight or that I forgot or that I wasn't able to do and for that I feel...kind of disappointed maybe in myself and maybe in the fact that I just couldn't lift it fully up to God because if I did, I wouldn't be worrying. But I'm also extremely thankful for all the amazing people that helped with the program. I literally couldn't do it without them. No joke. They are like amazing. =)
So I got there at around 6 and there's already people downstairs prepping the lettuce and it was fun cutting it up and washing it and a bunch of guys preparing giant salads =P Super fun. And then we had to get the buns out and check out the grills and I had to set up AV for the worship team and then it was already 6:45 by then and so people started coming at 7. At first it wasn't too many but I was still outside setting up tables for the food and bringing stuff out. By the time i went in, my friends were actually there. Crazy =) They were like ALL there in a circle. It was kind of crazy. Seeing them in church. It's like two planes of my life colliding together. Into awesomeness =) I wish i could've talked with them. And asked them how they were doing .How they felt about it all but I had to keep running. Setting up, doing av and a whole bunch of other stuff. I screamed in a mike today =\ i just like contradicted myself. because i'm usually sensitive with the mikes. but i guess i just...wasn't thinking =\ hope they're alright. but that's the least of anything.
But anyways, the food happened and there were SO many people and we didn't know what to do with them yet because it was kind of like time to eat but the food wasn't ready so we tried stalling and we needed a bigger team but in the end, it was really awesome because people helped serve and get the patties in the buns and it worked pretty effectively. Except there wasn't enough food for everybody =\ some people didn't get meat. Mainly the worship team. And there wasn't quite enough dressing either but i guess it was good and I really hope people bonded during the eating time.
Rachel and P-Dawg and a bunch of other people were really amazing and they got to know all my friends =) I felt bad that I couldn't spend time with them but I'm glad they had people to meet. Daniel told me there's nice people =) which is like awesome. Because I'm so thankful that people were able to just open up and meet the new people. I'm terrible with names =P
And so food finished. And i went back in to start the games. I didn't realize until after that the counsellours were like amazing and cleaned the grills and stuff. They're AMAZING! =) PTL! There's like so many background people that helped out in little ways and in the end it was all so amazing. God has this crazy plan and it just comes together without people even realizing it sometimes =)
But overall, since i'm running out of time. I didn't do what I thought i would do for my little blurb. i actually missedo ut everything important =\ and I felt like it wasn't what I had in mind at all. And also, I didn't tell her .Maybe it was because it was just bad for her because she probably had enough on her mind or maybe just because....i don't know. I'll have to pray about it. But God really showed me awesome things tonight. My friends, despite their relunctancy at times, i think enjoyed it =) and I hugged sharon. Which i guess is supposed to be this big thing. I'm getting there...i think. Trying to really love everybody. EVERYBODY.well I guess that's a wrap up team =)
and i didn't write 9 encouragement notes =\
BUT since we aren't passing them out until next week i will write A BUNCH this weekend.
coolios =)
av tomorrow
crazy stuff
-Chris
PRAISE THE LORD!
it's been a HAPPY DAY! =)
Thursday, September 17, 2009
Penguins don't drive Firetrucks =)
Hey
So i'll keep this post short because well...I have encouragement notes to make and i should be studying for my quiz. But it's just a quiz. So you know...teehee =)
But I really love the class I got put in for peer helping. I was scared I'd be put in some random class with like kids that are like really unwanting to learn and with an FLS student that'd be really hard. Then again, none of them are really hard. You just need to know how to communicate with them. They can be really cool =) all of em.
There's this one kid =P he's really cool. Really nice. But he gets distracted easily. But that's alright because maybe that's what I'm for =) But anyways, it's really cool because they learn so differently. Like the teacher was making the teacher analogy of penguins and firetrucks when he was talking about how x2 can't be mixed with polynomials of x. Because they're different =) And so I think I'm gonna really enjoy it last period.
It'll be challenging, but awesome =)
PTL!
-Chris =P
So i'll keep this post short because well...I have encouragement notes to make and i should be studying for my quiz. But it's just a quiz. So you know...teehee =)
But I really love the class I got put in for peer helping. I was scared I'd be put in some random class with like kids that are like really unwanting to learn and with an FLS student that'd be really hard. Then again, none of them are really hard. You just need to know how to communicate with them. They can be really cool =) all of em.
There's this one kid =P he's really cool. Really nice. But he gets distracted easily. But that's alright because maybe that's what I'm for =) But anyways, it's really cool because they learn so differently. Like the teacher was making the teacher analogy of penguins and firetrucks when he was talking about how x2 can't be mixed with polynomials of x. Because they're different =) And so I think I'm gonna really enjoy it last period.
It'll be challenging, but awesome =)
PTL!
-Chris =P
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
Jumping off a cliff knowing you'll catch me =)
Hey!
Haha I don't know why but i'm extremely happy and energized. Actually that's a lie. My bad. Lying's bad. I do know why i'm so happy =) I'm happy because i've been SOOOOOOOOOOOO crazy blessed =) like crazy. And it's just like uplifting =P i don't even know if that's the right word.
It just sounds like a nice word =) and kind of like the right one.
Last night right before I went to bed, I decided to read an encouragement note that I got yesterday from an awesome person from one of the most awesome k-cab's ever =P maybe i'm just bias bout the k-cab thing but the person really is awesome =) And I was reading it and it really just made me smile. Not just smile. But like smile inside. And sometimes it takes a lot to smile inside =) And feel warm and fuzzy. And I found out that people actually read this blog =P which is crazy because I just put it here just to ramble on and on and on but I guess that's pretty awesome =)
But anyways, I won't go into specifics about what was in the note but it was just so enouraging because it was stuff that I'd been thinking about sometime and it was just SoOoOoO inspiring =) so now i'm determined to have written at least 8 encouragement notes before this friday. Because dang son, those things give you a super warm feeling =) PTL! serious =) because it's just crazy how people who are connected in JESUS! are so like...open and connected and even if you don't talk that often it's so easy to talk. because it's just....something bout it =) It's HEAVENLY! =P
So school's been...a lot different than what I had anticipated this year to be. A lot different. So firstly, everybody I know has dropped out of photography. I am literally the only one left at my table. Today I felt kind of lonely just sitting there. And all the other tables have people and mostly full so it's like...where am I supposed to go? but we'll see. Maybe...well we'll see. Or there's nothing wrong with being lonely. Just I feel like school should be like my mission field and maybe this is a chance to get to know random people. I just need to take that step as to where the heck i'm going to sit =P but it is a little lonely. It's an interesting course though. with cameras and some painting. and some good stuff =)
But the biggest thing of school....well actually there's 2 but the one regarding subjects is like so cool =) So for the past couple days I was really wondering what I was going to do with my economics class. I REALLY wanted to drop it because i felt like i wasn't going to do ANYTHING there. Like you might learn some tidbits of economics and that's alright but I didn't feel it was somewhere that I could really fulfill God's command. So on Monday I visited the guidance counselor and she's like there's peer helping. I didn't really think much of it at the time. Because it's like an open course and I'm an AP kid. I'm so intellectually ignorant and stuck up =\ So i went out of the office hoping that being 3rd on the anthropology waiting list would somehow get me into the course.
But I went back to economics yesterday and I just...couldn't see myself doing it for a full semester. And the idea of peer helping...it was starting to actually come to my mind. Like it's not even about the mark because i probably would've gotten a higher mark in economics but it's the fact that it's something I think i've been called to do. I once was told that I had high patience while dealing with Koolskool kids. I didn't think so. But apparently other people did and so I thought I'd give it a shot. I switched today. Into peer helping. Had my first dose of it. It's crazy. In a good way =)
I walked in there and for one, the people are really nice. Like the other students were like...well there was this one girl who's done it before and so she helped me with names and stuff. And I walked in and I just couldn't believe how many special needs kids we have at the school. I mean like there's like....over 15. And a lot of them I hadn't seen before. Which makes me feel really like...disconnected with what God has commanded for me and others. Cause it's like "whatever you do for the least of these brothers of mine, you do for me" and sometimes I feel like I think that's only the people in my circle of friends who aren't as befriended but like it means ACTUALLY the other people who are looked as kind of lesser in the community. And it's just so awesome seeing the kids. Like there's this one kid who I'm not sure but he looks like he might have delayed development or something like that and he just looks so happy when people just play with him.
But it's going to be a crazy semester =) Like I was kind of like sitting in economics yesterday and I'm like "well maybe I should stay in economics, the Holy Spirit hasn't really moved me to take peer helping". And then today I remembered a line from crazy love. If our love really is true, we are to obey. Straight up obey. We don't always need some strong push. We just need to obey. And this realization is the Spirit as well =P So it's pretty funny/cool/super awesome =P AND i get to write journals as assignments =) Which is like the greatest thing. Because me and journals are like super yay =) which is why i even started a blog =P
As for the second thing from school, it's about my friends coming this Friday. They're more open than i thought. Also a little weirder. Because there was talk about flirting and that kind of thing but you know what, i'm just gonna pray that God really show them who He has. Or maybe a glimpse. Because that's enough =) well at least it is for me. But the encouragement note really put me to rest about that because you know what? it's not up to me to show them. To try to impress them or anything. They're just gonna have to accept that I love it in fellowship =) And there's 9 of em coming. Dang =P and sharon's boyfriend. Which is like....possibly awkward but whatevs =)
And the last thing I guess on my mind would be the girl thing. I haven't talked about that in a while I think but it's still here. Lingering in my mind. Kind of just....plaguing me. I really don't know what I'm going to do. Some people are telling me to tell her. But then I'm thinking of just....AHHHH so much major doubt. I need to have more faith. In God. In her. In just...everything. I feel like I need to tell her before this Friday. Because...there's just circumstances and I need to just.....release myself. I just don't want this to affect her or stress her even anything. Because i'm sure she has enough to think about =\ with school, with councils, with fellowship, with everything.
So that ends the probably longest ever post i've ever written. It's pretty long ain't it?
Actually it probably doesn't beat the first couple because those were REALLY long and took a really long time =P
P.req. : faith, and trusting that God will provide and that I'll keep taking risks for Him because I don't want a super regulated life that I can control because there's no life to that kind of life.
-Chris
Haha I don't know why but i'm extremely happy and energized. Actually that's a lie. My bad. Lying's bad. I do know why i'm so happy =) I'm happy because i've been SOOOOOOOOOOOO crazy blessed =) like crazy. And it's just like uplifting =P i don't even know if that's the right word.
It just sounds like a nice word =) and kind of like the right one.
Last night right before I went to bed, I decided to read an encouragement note that I got yesterday from an awesome person from one of the most awesome k-cab's ever =P maybe i'm just bias bout the k-cab thing but the person really is awesome =) And I was reading it and it really just made me smile. Not just smile. But like smile inside. And sometimes it takes a lot to smile inside =) And feel warm and fuzzy. And I found out that people actually read this blog =P which is crazy because I just put it here just to ramble on and on and on but I guess that's pretty awesome =)
But anyways, I won't go into specifics about what was in the note but it was just so enouraging because it was stuff that I'd been thinking about sometime and it was just SoOoOoO inspiring =) so now i'm determined to have written at least 8 encouragement notes before this friday. Because dang son, those things give you a super warm feeling =) PTL! serious =) because it's just crazy how people who are connected in JESUS! are so like...open and connected and even if you don't talk that often it's so easy to talk. because it's just....something bout it =) It's HEAVENLY! =P
So school's been...a lot different than what I had anticipated this year to be. A lot different. So firstly, everybody I know has dropped out of photography. I am literally the only one left at my table. Today I felt kind of lonely just sitting there. And all the other tables have people and mostly full so it's like...where am I supposed to go? but we'll see. Maybe...well we'll see. Or there's nothing wrong with being lonely. Just I feel like school should be like my mission field and maybe this is a chance to get to know random people. I just need to take that step as to where the heck i'm going to sit =P but it is a little lonely. It's an interesting course though. with cameras and some painting. and some good stuff =)
But the biggest thing of school....well actually there's 2 but the one regarding subjects is like so cool =) So for the past couple days I was really wondering what I was going to do with my economics class. I REALLY wanted to drop it because i felt like i wasn't going to do ANYTHING there. Like you might learn some tidbits of economics and that's alright but I didn't feel it was somewhere that I could really fulfill God's command. So on Monday I visited the guidance counselor and she's like there's peer helping. I didn't really think much of it at the time. Because it's like an open course and I'm an AP kid. I'm so intellectually ignorant and stuck up =\ So i went out of the office hoping that being 3rd on the anthropology waiting list would somehow get me into the course.
But I went back to economics yesterday and I just...couldn't see myself doing it for a full semester. And the idea of peer helping...it was starting to actually come to my mind. Like it's not even about the mark because i probably would've gotten a higher mark in economics but it's the fact that it's something I think i've been called to do. I once was told that I had high patience while dealing with Koolskool kids. I didn't think so. But apparently other people did and so I thought I'd give it a shot. I switched today. Into peer helping. Had my first dose of it. It's crazy. In a good way =)
I walked in there and for one, the people are really nice. Like the other students were like...well there was this one girl who's done it before and so she helped me with names and stuff. And I walked in and I just couldn't believe how many special needs kids we have at the school. I mean like there's like....over 15. And a lot of them I hadn't seen before. Which makes me feel really like...disconnected with what God has commanded for me and others. Cause it's like "whatever you do for the least of these brothers of mine, you do for me" and sometimes I feel like I think that's only the people in my circle of friends who aren't as befriended but like it means ACTUALLY the other people who are looked as kind of lesser in the community. And it's just so awesome seeing the kids. Like there's this one kid who I'm not sure but he looks like he might have delayed development or something like that and he just looks so happy when people just play with him.
But it's going to be a crazy semester =) Like I was kind of like sitting in economics yesterday and I'm like "well maybe I should stay in economics, the Holy Spirit hasn't really moved me to take peer helping". And then today I remembered a line from crazy love. If our love really is true, we are to obey. Straight up obey. We don't always need some strong push. We just need to obey. And this realization is the Spirit as well =P So it's pretty funny/cool/super awesome =P AND i get to write journals as assignments =) Which is like the greatest thing. Because me and journals are like super yay =) which is why i even started a blog =P
As for the second thing from school, it's about my friends coming this Friday. They're more open than i thought. Also a little weirder. Because there was talk about flirting and that kind of thing but you know what, i'm just gonna pray that God really show them who He has. Or maybe a glimpse. Because that's enough =) well at least it is for me. But the encouragement note really put me to rest about that because you know what? it's not up to me to show them. To try to impress them or anything. They're just gonna have to accept that I love it in fellowship =) And there's 9 of em coming. Dang =P and sharon's boyfriend. Which is like....possibly awkward but whatevs =)
And the last thing I guess on my mind would be the girl thing. I haven't talked about that in a while I think but it's still here. Lingering in my mind. Kind of just....plaguing me. I really don't know what I'm going to do. Some people are telling me to tell her. But then I'm thinking of just....AHHHH so much major doubt. I need to have more faith. In God. In her. In just...everything. I feel like I need to tell her before this Friday. Because...there's just circumstances and I need to just.....release myself. I just don't want this to affect her or stress her even anything. Because i'm sure she has enough to think about =\ with school, with councils, with fellowship, with everything.
So that ends the probably longest ever post i've ever written. It's pretty long ain't it?
Actually it probably doesn't beat the first couple because those were REALLY long and took a really long time =P
P.req. : faith, and trusting that God will provide and that I'll keep taking risks for Him because I don't want a super regulated life that I can control because there's no life to that kind of life.
-Chris
Saturday, September 12, 2009
Drifter, Transient, & Miner
Hey
It's been a long week and at the same time, it's passed by ridiculously fast.
School's started and it's as if summer never happened. As if I just dreamt it all up. Except it didn't. Or if I did, that was one heck of an awesome dream =)
But I'm still pretty sure it wasn't a dream =P
Yesterday was the first day of KNA for this new year. Officially. But it's almost as if it's been the new year since we started the k-cab meet ups every week =)
Anyways, we saw the new grade 9's and we kind of did things that weren't so nice to them, we sang a song on stage, did a really epic improv dance off between the cell group leaders and generally that was how the night went =) It was kind of sad though when it just ended after the initiation game finished and we really didn't get to welcome them.
I always feel like the year I came to KNA was like...the most awesome welcome ever =) I don't even remember the torture. I just remember the encouragement/welcome notes they stuck to our backs. They're awesome =) They're the most random and craziest things but sometimes that's what makes it the most awesome and enjoyable =) So maybe I felt that it wasn't as welcoming as we might have tried to make it. I just hope they can come back next week and experience what it truly means to be part of a fellowship.
And I guess afterwards on that night, I kind of realized something. More like remembered. GM's a lonely job. And i'm not very social. I realized that in the beginning when fellowship hadn't quite started and I was excited to see everybody but...I didn't know what to say. I guess I always feel like I'm a drifter. I remember Vince once used the line...I actually kind of forgot the exact wording but it was something to do with knowing everyone but not really...being able to spend a lot of time with each of them. And i guess for me it's like I drift. Because I'm not really good with social situations. And sometimes I find people are grouped up in their grades, their schools, and our fellowship's not cliquey because I know a lot of boundaries have been broken and it's pretty easy between a lot of people just...I often feel like I'm not quite sure where my place in it is.
And maybe that's why I'm GM. I probably have some form of OCD. Meaning I'm always cleaning stuff if it's messy because I just...don't like how dirty/messy things look. So maybe that's why I make a good GM. Because I clean stuff. And i'm not very socially effective so cleaning up afterwards allows people who ARE socially effective to go out there and impact other people =) Maybe that's why I'm always scared of training new people. Because it's a...very specific job. It does get lonely. I'm grateful Ben's here =) But he's gotta leave early most of the time because
he lives in North York.
But I'm really thankful that Ev and Peter helped me clean up the stage afterwards =) Peter'll make an awesome GM one day if he chooses that route =)
But it was overall a pretty cool and awesome night =)
Today I volunteered at the Milliken Children Festival. I realized just how many people in this world are so...unenthusiastic. haha that sounds pretty saddening. Well basically in my area, I was the only one who seemed to really care. There was another girl who liked kids because she tried to help some of them but most of the volunteers I found out were there just to get some hours. Which is probably the WORST ever reason because you get no satisfaction whatsoever when you're done with it. But sadly this happens a lot.
But I realized that I ended up being the unofficial leader of the sand zone area because I was the person that cared the most about keeping the place alive and making sure the kids were alright. But yea, it was interesting and I guess I just haven't been out of my own little area of volunteering for a while so...it was alright =)
Well AV tomorrow. =)
-Chris
It's been a long week and at the same time, it's passed by ridiculously fast.
School's started and it's as if summer never happened. As if I just dreamt it all up. Except it didn't. Or if I did, that was one heck of an awesome dream =)
But I'm still pretty sure it wasn't a dream =P
Yesterday was the first day of KNA for this new year. Officially. But it's almost as if it's been the new year since we started the k-cab meet ups every week =)
Anyways, we saw the new grade 9's and we kind of did things that weren't so nice to them, we sang a song on stage, did a really epic improv dance off between the cell group leaders and generally that was how the night went =) It was kind of sad though when it just ended after the initiation game finished and we really didn't get to welcome them.
I always feel like the year I came to KNA was like...the most awesome welcome ever =) I don't even remember the torture. I just remember the encouragement/welcome notes they stuck to our backs. They're awesome =) They're the most random and craziest things but sometimes that's what makes it the most awesome and enjoyable =) So maybe I felt that it wasn't as welcoming as we might have tried to make it. I just hope they can come back next week and experience what it truly means to be part of a fellowship.
And I guess afterwards on that night, I kind of realized something. More like remembered. GM's a lonely job. And i'm not very social. I realized that in the beginning when fellowship hadn't quite started and I was excited to see everybody but...I didn't know what to say. I guess I always feel like I'm a drifter. I remember Vince once used the line...I actually kind of forgot the exact wording but it was something to do with knowing everyone but not really...being able to spend a lot of time with each of them. And i guess for me it's like I drift. Because I'm not really good with social situations. And sometimes I find people are grouped up in their grades, their schools, and our fellowship's not cliquey because I know a lot of boundaries have been broken and it's pretty easy between a lot of people just...I often feel like I'm not quite sure where my place in it is.
And maybe that's why I'm GM. I probably have some form of OCD. Meaning I'm always cleaning stuff if it's messy because I just...don't like how dirty/messy things look. So maybe that's why I make a good GM. Because I clean stuff. And i'm not very socially effective so cleaning up afterwards allows people who ARE socially effective to go out there and impact other people =) Maybe that's why I'm always scared of training new people. Because it's a...very specific job. It does get lonely. I'm grateful Ben's here =) But he's gotta leave early most of the time because
he lives in North York.
But I'm really thankful that Ev and Peter helped me clean up the stage afterwards =) Peter'll make an awesome GM one day if he chooses that route =)
But it was overall a pretty cool and awesome night =)
Today I volunteered at the Milliken Children Festival. I realized just how many people in this world are so...unenthusiastic. haha that sounds pretty saddening. Well basically in my area, I was the only one who seemed to really care. There was another girl who liked kids because she tried to help some of them but most of the volunteers I found out were there just to get some hours. Which is probably the WORST ever reason because you get no satisfaction whatsoever when you're done with it. But sadly this happens a lot.
But I realized that I ended up being the unofficial leader of the sand zone area because I was the person that cared the most about keeping the place alive and making sure the kids were alright. But yea, it was interesting and I guess I just haven't been out of my own little area of volunteering for a while so...it was alright =)
Well AV tomorrow. =)
-Chris
Thursday, September 10, 2009
PTL =P
hey.
so i guess there's a bunch I could write about.
but I think the most important thing is how this school year's being and going to be affected by God and the Spirit working.
It's only been the first 3 days of school and already I can feel the tension. I can feel myself trying to find a reserve of patience or love and sometimes I find it or I pray that the Spirit will fill me and sometimes, sadly I don't show it outwardly but inside, i'm unable to find it. And sometimes it does show on the outside. =\
But God's forgiving and it's amazing. =)
I was reminded of my own hypocrisy today when I someone was saying they hated somebody and that we all did and i said he shouldn't' say that and somebody else said that I feel the same way as everyone else does.
And that's one of the biggest things for me this year.
Maybe it's a goal.
But more of it's one of the ways i'm going to show God's love. It's hard. Because i think i've kind of tried in the past. And I found myself being rebuked. And i'm glad I did. Because it means I haven't been trying hard enough. Or rather, I haven't been asking the Spirit for a means for me to change.
So that's one of the things. Something I need to be kept accountable for.
And also, tuesday's k-cab meeting's lesson was based on being an influence and the things that make you more able to relate to other people and influence them. One of them was likability or just friendliness in general.
I feel like God's really pulling me into that one. Along with the other ones. Because they're really important and relevant as well.
But it's like I've had at least 2 opportunities within these past days where I could've at least introduced myself to somebody I don't know or just be more friendly.
Something I also need to work on.
But I'm so thankful that despite my failures and incompetence, God's worked. =) My friends are coming to the KNA welcome night BBQ next week and as frightening as that may be, it's an opportunity for me to show them what I do every friday. Because I'm not going to hide it. They may think it's weird and that the people are overly friendly or weird but I love them and I won't deny that.
And I need to be grounded in my faith. Today I was in economics class and every 5 seconds, the boys were making sexual references or innuendos. So not cool. I need to learn to deal with those. To shut them out and then forget them really fast before they do anything. Not that they do really creepy things, it's just fun hearing them because...it's awkward. And uncool.
But i'm determined this year to let God build me up and lose myself in Him.
Let's do it =)
PTL!
haha that means Praise the Lord =P
it was funny because it was part of Tim's sharing.
well i should sleep now
-Chris
so i guess there's a bunch I could write about.
but I think the most important thing is how this school year's being and going to be affected by God and the Spirit working.
It's only been the first 3 days of school and already I can feel the tension. I can feel myself trying to find a reserve of patience or love and sometimes I find it or I pray that the Spirit will fill me and sometimes, sadly I don't show it outwardly but inside, i'm unable to find it. And sometimes it does show on the outside. =\
But God's forgiving and it's amazing. =)
I was reminded of my own hypocrisy today when I someone was saying they hated somebody and that we all did and i said he shouldn't' say that and somebody else said that I feel the same way as everyone else does.
And that's one of the biggest things for me this year.
Maybe it's a goal.
But more of it's one of the ways i'm going to show God's love. It's hard. Because i think i've kind of tried in the past. And I found myself being rebuked. And i'm glad I did. Because it means I haven't been trying hard enough. Or rather, I haven't been asking the Spirit for a means for me to change.
So that's one of the things. Something I need to be kept accountable for.
And also, tuesday's k-cab meeting's lesson was based on being an influence and the things that make you more able to relate to other people and influence them. One of them was likability or just friendliness in general.
I feel like God's really pulling me into that one. Along with the other ones. Because they're really important and relevant as well.
But it's like I've had at least 2 opportunities within these past days where I could've at least introduced myself to somebody I don't know or just be more friendly.
Something I also need to work on.
But I'm so thankful that despite my failures and incompetence, God's worked. =) My friends are coming to the KNA welcome night BBQ next week and as frightening as that may be, it's an opportunity for me to show them what I do every friday. Because I'm not going to hide it. They may think it's weird and that the people are overly friendly or weird but I love them and I won't deny that.
And I need to be grounded in my faith. Today I was in economics class and every 5 seconds, the boys were making sexual references or innuendos. So not cool. I need to learn to deal with those. To shut them out and then forget them really fast before they do anything. Not that they do really creepy things, it's just fun hearing them because...it's awkward. And uncool.
But i'm determined this year to let God build me up and lose myself in Him.
Let's do it =)
PTL!
haha that means Praise the Lord =P
it was funny because it was part of Tim's sharing.
well i should sleep now
-Chris
Wednesday, September 9, 2009
Stars dancing inside my mind, lighting up
Hey
So there's a lot i feel like typing. So much. So many thoughts. So much everything. It's crazy. The feeling that I haven't blogged for so long. Maybe that's bad. Having something like a dependency on blogging instead of talking to God about it and being content with that.
I got back from the cruise. School started. And it's been crazy.
It's like I knew it'd be hard. I went to lunch with my school friends before and I knew it'd be hard. I knew it'd be hard sticking to what I believed this school year. To be more proactive about my faith in school. To be an example of God.
But I didn't completely realize it till i hit school.
Yesterday was my first day. Thank God that I had K-cab small group last night too. I don't know what I'd do without them.
But it's hard. Being optimistic. Not being influenced by the feeling of intellectual superiority around my peers, the cursing, the insults behind people's back, the shallowness of almost everything we talk about. But i'm determined. That this year is going to change. That this year, i'm going to pray, grow, and be God's child. Because there just isn't any other way to do it. It's like a bible verse somewhere. Now that we've been shown the light, it's impossible and ignorant that we live in the dark.
I'm beginning to talk to a friend more. Because well it's really beginning to show me how God's blessed me with...people =) maybe she'll read this one day and be like 'WHAT" but otherwise, it's just really great having somebody from school I can just talk to about God. About fellowship. And talking about fellowship really showed me how lucky i am to have this. She doesn't have it at her church. Because there's like 2 youth in the youth category. We have like 90. in kna alone. on good days. But it's crazy. And God's really blessed us with an amazing youth group.
and i invited people to the bbq. and they rsvped as maybe
which is like one of the BIGGEST things ever. because...well maybe it's because i've never invited them. but i've always been scared about what they'll think when they come.
this year, it don't matter anymore. because if they think i'm weird for loving fellowship every friday, i guess that's alright but I won't be ashamed or anything synomous to that about God. Cuz he's absolutely awesome. =)
and the stars are probably out tonight. as they always are. kicking it up around the world =)
awesome
goodnight
-Chris
So there's a lot i feel like typing. So much. So many thoughts. So much everything. It's crazy. The feeling that I haven't blogged for so long. Maybe that's bad. Having something like a dependency on blogging instead of talking to God about it and being content with that.
I got back from the cruise. School started. And it's been crazy.
It's like I knew it'd be hard. I went to lunch with my school friends before and I knew it'd be hard. I knew it'd be hard sticking to what I believed this school year. To be more proactive about my faith in school. To be an example of God.
But I didn't completely realize it till i hit school.
Yesterday was my first day. Thank God that I had K-cab small group last night too. I don't know what I'd do without them.
But it's hard. Being optimistic. Not being influenced by the feeling of intellectual superiority around my peers, the cursing, the insults behind people's back, the shallowness of almost everything we talk about. But i'm determined. That this year is going to change. That this year, i'm going to pray, grow, and be God's child. Because there just isn't any other way to do it. It's like a bible verse somewhere. Now that we've been shown the light, it's impossible and ignorant that we live in the dark.
I'm beginning to talk to a friend more. Because well it's really beginning to show me how God's blessed me with...people =) maybe she'll read this one day and be like 'WHAT" but otherwise, it's just really great having somebody from school I can just talk to about God. About fellowship. And talking about fellowship really showed me how lucky i am to have this. She doesn't have it at her church. Because there's like 2 youth in the youth category. We have like 90. in kna alone. on good days. But it's crazy. And God's really blessed us with an amazing youth group.
and i invited people to the bbq. and they rsvped as maybe
which is like one of the BIGGEST things ever. because...well maybe it's because i've never invited them. but i've always been scared about what they'll think when they come.
this year, it don't matter anymore. because if they think i'm weird for loving fellowship every friday, i guess that's alright but I won't be ashamed or anything synomous to that about God. Cuz he's absolutely awesome. =)
and the stars are probably out tonight. as they always are. kicking it up around the world =)
awesome
goodnight
-Chris
Cruise Day 6: Halifax
Sept. 3, 2009
Hey
Today was the last day for excursions off the boat. We went to Halifax today and it was pretty cool as well, it had some nice old buildings and it was bigger than St. Johns. And it was more time with just my family for some portion of it. Also I went into my first bar/pub restaurant because some people were craving beer and chicken wings =P
Anyways, the cruise is almost over. I guess it's bitter sweet. The good thing is that I get to go back to Markham and see everyone again. I guess i'm really homesick. The bad thing? I don't really get to spend time with my cosuins and sister like this with so much time for just chilling.
The thing that's plaguing me right now is asking my sister about the whole girl thing. Sounds silly. It's what's been on my mind for so long. I guess it's partly because every time we're alone together, she's usually watching a movie or busy. And also I don't really know how she'll respond. Sometimes she jokes about it and she laughs and says " I approve" and I don'tk now how serious I think this is. I guess I just don't know.
I wish Vince was here. He's like the only one i haven't talked to about it. =\
Well I should go now. Tomorrow's at sea day. All day on the boat.
Gotta take pictures for the list
-Chris
Today was the last day for excursions off the boat. We went to Halifax today and it was pretty cool as well, it had some nice old buildings and it was bigger than St. Johns. And it was more time with just my family for some portion of it. Also I went into my first bar/pub restaurant because some people were craving beer and chicken wings =P
Anyways, the cruise is almost over. I guess it's bitter sweet. The good thing is that I get to go back to Markham and see everyone again. I guess i'm really homesick. The bad thing? I don't really get to spend time with my cosuins and sister like this with so much time for just chilling.
The thing that's plaguing me right now is asking my sister about the whole girl thing. Sounds silly. It's what's been on my mind for so long. I guess it's partly because every time we're alone together, she's usually watching a movie or busy. And also I don't really know how she'll respond. Sometimes she jokes about it and she laughs and says " I approve" and I don'tk now how serious I think this is. I guess I just don't know.
I wish Vince was here. He's like the only one i haven't talked to about it. =\
Well I should go now. Tomorrow's at sea day. All day on the boat.
Gotta take pictures for the list
-Chris
Sunday, September 6, 2009
Cruise Day 5: Love is all you need
September 2nd, 2009
Hey
I guess yesterday's post wasn't quite very coherent because it was super late and I was...really tired =P Which usually happens when it's really late. So to start, I can't believe it's September . September indicates the start of school, the start of autumn, the start of a new year at KNA. It just also means the end of summer, the end of this break and the end of this year at KNA. I could write a lot about it. And I probably will. Haha I should be sleeping but oh well =)
This year in KNA was...a year of big expectations. After the VBC rooftop fellowship, my relationship with God grew. I understood the real sense of fellowship and just how crucial it was because it creates an openness that spans beyond things of this world. It's amazing. And so I guess throughout the year, I really wanted fellowship and accountability within K-cab and KNA. I also got to do leadership. Serving in AV taught me a lot, gave me more time with other people and was just awesome =) Also ended up planning the repentance program which was...some crazy stuff. God really worked that night. =)
My cell group was really interesting. Slow to start, a little unstable but none the less awesome. Love you guys. And I had my very first accountability partner. I've never called people over the phone before. Vince was the first person that I had consistent 1 hour convos with =P And to this date, the only one. He's absolutely amazing and I miss him. He's on a boat too. another one though
I miss everyone actually. Sam's hugs and witty jokes, Nat Tay's laugh and her ability to out-man me =P, Steph's smile and encouragement, Freddy's down to eartness, PY's spontaneous singing and sheer coolness, Vince's accountability, Silas' Mac promotion, V-shizzle's gangster qualities. The list could go on =) And they're like all serving in KNA. WE'RE all serving in K-cab =)
well usually the people who read this are in K-cab. =) And it's just so exciting becuase I read Freddy's text today and seeing that the theme was Home it's like...it's gonna be awesome =) Excited i am. Excited to the core =)
Well I should briefly talk about the cruise itself. Yesterday we went to Bar Harbor which is this little quaint town in Maine. Nothing super special. Just cute. I wrote miscommunication because it seems a lot of that is happening these days. Yesterday my mom got frustrated because there was a lot of miscommunication and wandering and separation. I hope today was better. I think it was.
My sister also tried out for Princess Pop Star. Sang A Thousand Miles. Didn't win but it was for fun =)
Today we were at St. John in New Brunswick. Small town. Canadian! Texted people =). Well just Freddy and Sam. Wanted to text a lot of people but I didn't quite know what to say. I"m not very good with texts. But I'm just happy I got to communication with people.
On my mind...a lot of stuff. After writing about KNA, that's what my heart is set on. I said it today to my cousin. This cruise...it's so foreign. It doesn't satisfy me. At all. It's nice. It's got a lot of stuff to do. It's fun. But yet, i don't feel completely satisfied. Actually not even half satisfied. It's a lot of living in the moment. Something I don't really do. And all this busyness and overeating just makes me feel disconnected. I'm thankful the Lord has given me this vacation. And maybe this wasn't to necessarily to give me time off but rather just show me how awesome everyone is =) How I should cherish them. It's more of a vacation for my mom. She doesn't have to worry about very much. Which is great =)
Another thing on my mind is the girl. I haven't talked to my sister about it yet. And I want to before she leaves. I really value her opinion. Not just in fashion but also in Christ, in the world, in everything. She's not perfect, but she's my sister and she's awesome. I've been thinking about the girl.
Just in general though, I miss everyone. I could cry. Maybe =) It's just a longing for them. Like I can imagine myself going back on Sunday and just hugging people like crazy because I'd be just so happy to see them.
And I guess the last thing on my mind is God. Big topic =) But partly covered already. I haven't really been doing devos. At all. And it's cause this sad feeling because I"m spending time watching movies and not spending time with the God who created the universe. But I"m glad He's shown me things on this cruise. The world is different. Maybe it's being in a church environment all summer. The seculararility is so different. And it's like there's such a big need for God. Maybe that came out weird. Oh well
And also, God's just spoken to me in general about treasuring others at this moment it's my KNA friends but it's true with all people
And so this is probably the end. The cruise is almost over. It's a sweet and bitter thing. we'll leave that for tomorrow though .Goodnight and...god bless =)
-Chris
I guess yesterday's post wasn't quite very coherent because it was super late and I was...really tired =P Which usually happens when it's really late. So to start, I can't believe it's September . September indicates the start of school, the start of autumn, the start of a new year at KNA. It just also means the end of summer, the end of this break and the end of this year at KNA. I could write a lot about it. And I probably will. Haha I should be sleeping but oh well =)
This year in KNA was...a year of big expectations. After the VBC rooftop fellowship, my relationship with God grew. I understood the real sense of fellowship and just how crucial it was because it creates an openness that spans beyond things of this world. It's amazing. And so I guess throughout the year, I really wanted fellowship and accountability within K-cab and KNA. I also got to do leadership. Serving in AV taught me a lot, gave me more time with other people and was just awesome =) Also ended up planning the repentance program which was...some crazy stuff. God really worked that night. =)
My cell group was really interesting. Slow to start, a little unstable but none the less awesome. Love you guys. And I had my very first accountability partner. I've never called people over the phone before. Vince was the first person that I had consistent 1 hour convos with =P And to this date, the only one. He's absolutely amazing and I miss him. He's on a boat too. another one though
I miss everyone actually. Sam's hugs and witty jokes, Nat Tay's laugh and her ability to out-man me =P, Steph's smile and encouragement, Freddy's down to eartness, PY's spontaneous singing and sheer coolness, Vince's accountability, Silas' Mac promotion, V-shizzle's gangster qualities. The list could go on =) And they're like all serving in KNA. WE'RE all serving in K-cab =)
well usually the people who read this are in K-cab. =) And it's just so exciting becuase I read Freddy's text today and seeing that the theme was Home it's like...it's gonna be awesome =) Excited i am. Excited to the core =)
Well I should briefly talk about the cruise itself. Yesterday we went to Bar Harbor which is this little quaint town in Maine. Nothing super special. Just cute. I wrote miscommunication because it seems a lot of that is happening these days. Yesterday my mom got frustrated because there was a lot of miscommunication and wandering and separation. I hope today was better. I think it was.
My sister also tried out for Princess Pop Star. Sang A Thousand Miles. Didn't win but it was for fun =)
Today we were at St. John in New Brunswick. Small town. Canadian! Texted people =). Well just Freddy and Sam. Wanted to text a lot of people but I didn't quite know what to say. I"m not very good with texts. But I'm just happy I got to communication with people.
On my mind...a lot of stuff. After writing about KNA, that's what my heart is set on. I said it today to my cousin. This cruise...it's so foreign. It doesn't satisfy me. At all. It's nice. It's got a lot of stuff to do. It's fun. But yet, i don't feel completely satisfied. Actually not even half satisfied. It's a lot of living in the moment. Something I don't really do. And all this busyness and overeating just makes me feel disconnected. I'm thankful the Lord has given me this vacation. And maybe this wasn't to necessarily to give me time off but rather just show me how awesome everyone is =) How I should cherish them. It's more of a vacation for my mom. She doesn't have to worry about very much. Which is great =)
Another thing on my mind is the girl. I haven't talked to my sister about it yet. And I want to before she leaves. I really value her opinion. Not just in fashion but also in Christ, in the world, in everything. She's not perfect, but she's my sister and she's awesome. I've been thinking about the girl.
Just in general though, I miss everyone. I could cry. Maybe =) It's just a longing for them. Like I can imagine myself going back on Sunday and just hugging people like crazy because I'd be just so happy to see them.
And I guess the last thing on my mind is God. Big topic =) But partly covered already. I haven't really been doing devos. At all. And it's cause this sad feeling because I"m spending time watching movies and not spending time with the God who created the universe. But I"m glad He's shown me things on this cruise. The world is different. Maybe it's being in a church environment all summer. The seculararility is so different. And it's like there's such a big need for God. Maybe that came out weird. Oh well
And also, God's just spoken to me in general about treasuring others at this moment it's my KNA friends but it's true with all people
And so this is probably the end. The cruise is almost over. It's a sweet and bitter thing. we'll leave that for tomorrow though .Goodnight and...god bless =)
-Chris
Cruise Day 4
September 1, 2009
Hey
Wow it's September
Bar Harbor
A lot of miscommunication
distance fro mGod
so time consumed
feel like focus isn't right
Princess pop star
Family
thanks
Wow it's September
Bar Harbor
A lot of miscommunication
distance fro mGod
so time consumed
feel like focus isn't right
Princess pop star
Family
thanks
Cruise Day 3: Boston. Where no one knows my name =P
August 31, 2009
Hey
I wish I could have written last night but I ended up sleeping at like 2 because I was playing Taboo with my cousin for a long time =). Super really fun. It was more of a vacation than the dinner =P. It was the first formal dinner of the cruise. I haven't really dressed up in a really long time so I guess it was nice. Kelvin gelled my hair into a fohawk. Apparently I don't look too bad in it. Excpet I wouldn't go through the hassle of claying my hair everyday . It would just take too much time.
So anyways, yesterday was fun. Newport itself was more of a historical attraction and the weather was semi-gloomy and it started raining after a while. But t'is fun talking to my cousins about cameras because they all have Canon (canon's awesome =P ) So we were super-marco-ing and color accenting everything. It's good spending more time with my cousins.
Today was our third day. 3 out of 7. Almost half over. Woke up and went to continental breakfast to find that it was amazingly sunny today =)
Oh right, backtracking for a moment, Last night I went out for a night time stroll with my parents to the back of the boat where not too many people were. It was dark and absolutely beautiful. As I looked out towards the moon, the ocean just spanner so far and the moon left a beautiful reflection on the water's surface. I guess I haven't really been to nature in a while this summer. I've wanted to but it seemed like I never got the time. Anyways it was amazing. =) I've never seen water like that before. It was so...majestic because it was just so VAST! And so praise the Lord for making such an awesome earth =P because it is. And yesterday I was able to see a glimpse of God's creative, awesomeness.
So today we stopped in Boston and it was nothing like Newport. Major city full of people and sadly smoke and buildings and just in general, it was sooo much bigger and different from Newport. Me and my sister didn't know very much about Boston. I acutally only know about the Boston Red Sox. But anyways, we went to Harvard =)
I've never been on a university campus in the States before. And it was like Harvard. It's like the place for all the smart/rich people and everything . I was walking around in it and actually there were tours going on but anyways, all the parents were wearing suits and everything looked so expensive. It was interesting. But I think the most awesome thing was the subway adventure we had. To get to Harvard from a separate piece of land, we took the subway and that was pretty fun. I've realized that public transportation is always super fun with friends =)
So that was Boston. Came back. Watched Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. It was alright. I guess as far as movies went. The comments made about women and dating were really...well worldly and crude but it had it's cute moments. Afterward we went to Club Fusion for Family Karaoke. I sang the BSB song Shape of my Heart. Haven't really sung karoake in a while in front of people before but it was alright i guess. And then it was family Disco for like 5 songs after that. Kind of embarassing but it was with my family and random miscellaneous people so...it's alright to do crazy dumb things =P But i seriously don't understand the purpose of going to a club. The songs just have beats. They don't really make any sense lyrically. And it's the same body movement for 30 movements. hmph
Anyways it's getting late and I should sleep. I"ll write more tomorrow i guess =P
-Chris
I wish I could have written last night but I ended up sleeping at like 2 because I was playing Taboo with my cousin for a long time =). Super really fun. It was more of a vacation than the dinner =P. It was the first formal dinner of the cruise. I haven't really dressed up in a really long time so I guess it was nice. Kelvin gelled my hair into a fohawk. Apparently I don't look too bad in it. Excpet I wouldn't go through the hassle of claying my hair everyday . It would just take too much time.
So anyways, yesterday was fun. Newport itself was more of a historical attraction and the weather was semi-gloomy and it started raining after a while. But t'is fun talking to my cousins about cameras because they all have Canon (canon's awesome =P ) So we were super-marco-ing and color accenting everything. It's good spending more time with my cousins.
Today was our third day. 3 out of 7. Almost half over. Woke up and went to continental breakfast to find that it was amazingly sunny today =)
Oh right, backtracking for a moment, Last night I went out for a night time stroll with my parents to the back of the boat where not too many people were. It was dark and absolutely beautiful. As I looked out towards the moon, the ocean just spanner so far and the moon left a beautiful reflection on the water's surface. I guess I haven't really been to nature in a while this summer. I've wanted to but it seemed like I never got the time. Anyways it was amazing. =) I've never seen water like that before. It was so...majestic because it was just so VAST! And so praise the Lord for making such an awesome earth =P because it is. And yesterday I was able to see a glimpse of God's creative, awesomeness.
So today we stopped in Boston and it was nothing like Newport. Major city full of people and sadly smoke and buildings and just in general, it was sooo much bigger and different from Newport. Me and my sister didn't know very much about Boston. I acutally only know about the Boston Red Sox. But anyways, we went to Harvard =)
I've never been on a university campus in the States before. And it was like Harvard. It's like the place for all the smart/rich people and everything . I was walking around in it and actually there were tours going on but anyways, all the parents were wearing suits and everything looked so expensive. It was interesting. But I think the most awesome thing was the subway adventure we had. To get to Harvard from a separate piece of land, we took the subway and that was pretty fun. I've realized that public transportation is always super fun with friends =)
So that was Boston. Came back. Watched Ghosts of Girlfriends Past. It was alright. I guess as far as movies went. The comments made about women and dating were really...well worldly and crude but it had it's cute moments. Afterward we went to Club Fusion for Family Karaoke. I sang the BSB song Shape of my Heart. Haven't really sung karoake in a while in front of people before but it was alright i guess. And then it was family Disco for like 5 songs after that. Kind of embarassing but it was with my family and random miscellaneous people so...it's alright to do crazy dumb things =P But i seriously don't understand the purpose of going to a club. The songs just have beats. They don't really make any sense lyrically. And it's the same body movement for 30 movements. hmph
Anyways it's getting late and I should sleep. I"ll write more tomorrow i guess =P
-Chris
Cruise Day 2: Catching up
August 30, 2009
HeySorry for the abrupt close yesterday. I actually didn't even finish my sentence properly because I passed out =P. Like actually. I was on my bed writing and waiting for Agnes to come back from some show and I just fell asleep on my bed. I woke up halfway through the night and found the notebook beside me and I'm like Dang! Haha anyways it's morning now so I feel better.
So continuing, I walked into A & F and at first I told myself I absolutely wouldn't buy anything. But I did. I bought a polo for $13 =\ because my mother said it was cheap. And maybe it is cheap but I feel really weird about it because 1. I'm not supposed I'm not really supposed to be into A & F and 2. It goes against everything I've kind of learned for the past while. The chapter of crazy love where it talked about the poor made me think a lot about how much I had. So I kind of aimed for what another friend ( i don't know if i can mention her name =P ) is doing which is not buying clothes until Christmas. Which is pretty intense. Sometimes I guess I look at my wardrobe and feel like it's lacking but when I compare it to others who barely have any clothes, it's HUGE and that's the thing. I'm comparing myself usually with people who spend a lot. I should be comparing myself with God's standards.
And so I guess the polo has made me think a bit. About self control, shopping, how God wants me to spend the gifts he's blessed me with. That was the only thing I bought that day. Actually up to this point.
The cruise check-in was an adventure on it's own. I guess being in a car for so long was pretty uncomfortable. Oh and when we got to Kingston, I accidentally locked my sister's washroom that auto locks when you close the door. Haha we ended up fixing it and at the time I was so worried I had incurred my sister's wrath but I think it's okay now. We fixed it =) So no worries.
Back to check-in. There were a lot of people. And my belt set off the metal detector =P Probably the most exciting thing about that.
I should probably summarize the rest of yesterday before...well I wouldn't want to bore anyone to death. So basically the food's really intensely awesome and the servers like come and they take your plates and crack pepper and like...everything. it's so weird. I"m not very used to having other people do stuff for me. I usually do stuff myself. So I guess it's really foreign to me to have people serve me like unlimited amounts of food from a menu. I guess I don't have extremely high expectations. This morning we were eating breakfast and my aunt kind of got angry at the waiters because there wasn't a fork and plate for my uncle and it was weird because me or my family would never openly do that because we usually don't mind things like that. So i guess it's just weird to have people serving us in general.
In terms of my spiritual life..it's been...well I think it hasn't been at it's best. I'm thankful God's given me time to recharge before school and KNA starts. I just wish I had more time to spend with Him. Maybe reading the Bible. Well I should go now. h ave to go to Newport. Never been there. It looks historic and old though.
-Chris
Cruise Day 1: Sail away to a far off land
Aug.29,2009
Hey
So right now I"m on a boat. Supposedly it's a really angry song according to my cousin. But that's besides the point =P. Because I wasn't really referring to the song in the first place
So last night I went to KNA at first just to drop off some stuff before I left to drive for like 10 hours. I ended up staying a whole hour and a bit and during that time, I realized I would miss them a lot. Like I gave Sam 3 hugs before I left and somebody awesome gave me a super awesome looking postcard =P Thanks.
And I do miss them.
Before I left, I kept saying that I was going to be on a boat and Nat Tay told me I should say cruise. Saying cruise made me feel really...spoiled because it was such a luxurious thing and SOOO unnecessary when you think about it. And she said anyone that could afford a cruise was spoiled. And it kind of hit me even though I' dknown it in the back of my head that I was spoiled. I'll go through that more later I guess.
So we got into the car and it was kind of moody weather with light showers and mist all the time while we were driving. It was interesting. Before we got to the ship dock, we went to an outlet because we were too early to board the ship. I guess this was basically the biggest point for me. First we went to Gap and I kind of resisted the temptation to buy anything because I guess after reading Crazy Love and just reflecting in general on the Bible, I realized I really do have A LOT of stuff and I really don't need anymore. We went around more and we needed at A &F. At first I went in and I thought "of course i'm not getting anything here"
So right now I"m on a boat. Supposedly it's a really angry song according to my cousin. But that's besides the point =P. Because I wasn't really referring to the song in the first place
So last night I went to KNA at first just to drop off some stuff before I left to drive for like 10 hours. I ended up staying a whole hour and a bit and during that time, I realized I would miss them a lot. Like I gave Sam 3 hugs before I left and somebody awesome gave me a super awesome looking postcard =P Thanks.
And I do miss them.
Before I left, I kept saying that I was going to be on a boat and Nat Tay told me I should say cruise. Saying cruise made me feel really...spoiled because it was such a luxurious thing and SOOO unnecessary when you think about it. And she said anyone that could afford a cruise was spoiled. And it kind of hit me even though I' dknown it in the back of my head that I was spoiled. I'll go through that more later I guess.
So we got into the car and it was kind of moody weather with light showers and mist all the time while we were driving. It was interesting. Before we got to the ship dock, we went to an outlet because we were too early to board the ship. I guess this was basically the biggest point for me. First we went to Gap and I kind of resisted the temptation to buy anything because I guess after reading Crazy Love and just reflecting in general on the Bible, I realized I really do have A LOT of stuff and I really don't need anymore. We went around more and we needed at A &F. At first I went in and I thought "of course i'm not getting anything here"
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