Hey
So last night was the first ever cell group night for this KNA year and it was something that I guess i have to struggle with for a little while. I realized that I wasn't quite as ready as I thought I was. And my expectations need to change drastically because they're in such a lonely place right now. Maybe that last sentence didn't make quite as much sense. Basically, I guess i need to change my expectations to line up with God's plans and how He works because otherwise, I won't be the cell group leader that I should be and ought to be.
The program consisted of a crazy scavenger hunt followed by some light discussion. Even before the night began, i was kind of rushing stuff. There was encouragement notes to be folded and i didn't end up finishing all of them as i had hoped =\ i only got...like 10-13 done. But hopefully i'll be able to write them consistently each week. Maybe not that much. But at least 5 or 6. Because I've found that they are really uplifting. Sometimes it can be the little anonymous ones that don't have names on them but they're so full of happy joy that it makes you laugh =) And AV had to be watched and it was again, kind of worrying to see that it was only Nelson and that there wasn't me or Ben watching him set-up. And I feel like we're not being fair to Steph when she does slides because we always call on her last minute and she should be able to worship as part of the fellowship and not have to do slides. Because slides does take a lot of concentration and isn't as free as AV. Which i guess touches on the whole training issue =\ but that'll be later.
So the night started, worship commenced and then we got our cell groups. Firstly, we only spotted like 2 of the people we were supposed to get. Well more like 4 but I couldn't really tell the grade 9's because i'm not grade 9 knowledgable. But in the end we ended up getting...like 6 or 7 i think. Which i guess was a small number compared to other groups that had like 14. but i guess sometimes a small number is better to work with. The scavenger hunt was fun, yet it felt so forced and rushed that we didn't really get to chill and stuff. Like it was a lot of me and Nat telling them what to do because they weren't very enthusiastic. They laughed maybe...once throughout the whole thing. But it's their first week. But anyways, we went through the entirity of the scavenger hunt and the whole time, I was worried because they really weren't that excited and sometimes when other people are excited, it spreads around but it ugess apparently not. Again though, maybe that's my own flawed sight. I guess the part of the night for me was the light discussion afterwards. We were in our own little room and we were talking about ideas for a cell group name and I felt like me and Nat talked a lot because they didn't respond. So we gave them a week to think it up. And we each went around as cell group leaders explaining why we chose to become cell group leaders and we told them we're going to try to be as open as possible because we really...wanted to put as much effort and love and fellowship as possible into this cell group. I don't know how it turned out.
I guess the night ended off and we passed out a lot of encouragement notes, everything was kind of rushed. I barely got to talk to anyone. AV again. Ben had to leave early. She also left earlier. And I miss Ryan. In a sense it was kind of cool not knowing which cell group he was in. I didn't know the typo on the contact sheet was him. But he's in a good cell group for him. Wow i sound like he's gone forever. I don't know, it seems like now that he's in a cell group, i'll spend less time with him because it's not like everyone together like the first couple weeks. but it'll be alright. saw him today at u-fair. but u-fair's another blog.
so i need to pray. i need prayer. please? because I can already feel myself begin to compare. Begin to compare my cell group with other cell groups and that's just TERRIBLE and utterly TERRIBLE because that doesn't let God move. God doesn't move the same way in every cell group. God doesn't put the same people in every cell group. God doesn't CHALLENGE us all in the same way. And so i need to be open. i need to pray to trust God. Because that's what i need to do. I need to have faith in God and let the Holy Spirit work and I need to be excited for this cell group because I am. I just can't worry about it. Because worrying is thinking God isn't big enough.
and we need a name =P
thanks
-Chris
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